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draelynn
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21 Mar 2012, 10:48 am

I just started a new job. I have learned after decades of practice, when talking to others about your interest, you need to speak to them on a sub-beginners level. My interest is in plants so botanical names don't enter conversations until I know the person has the interest by asking more detailed questions of me. I keep my plant talk very basic.

BUT, one of my employees was working with me and in the course of conversation I used the word 'prevalent'. Context, in this case, is irrelevant. She looked at me strangely - I wasn't sure which part of my conversation she was confused about. After a few tries she pointed out the word 'prevalent' and said I was using big words. O_o Up until that point we had been conversing 'normally'. She doesn't seem to be learning impaired, possess your average intelligence of the public in general, a high school graduate.

I have this happen often with words I normally consider in the general English lexicon.

My question - how do you know? How do you know when and how much to dumb down your conversation? The first time I had an employer tell me outright to dumb down my communications I was flabbergasted. I thought it was the height of arrogance and rudeness to assume that people were 'dumb'. As it turns out, it is generally considered rude and arrogant to 'flaunt' your intelligence even when it entails using the English language that is freely available in any dictionary and words comparable to a middle school reading comprehension test.

Seriously - my 9 year old knows the word 'prevalent'.

What is the base level of 'dumb' I should be expecting? (and let me make it crystal clear... 'DUMB' is NOT my word. It is the word my superiors have used. I find it rather repugnant but the 'dumbing down' concept is widely accepted... doctors, I find, make great use of it.)



nemorosa
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21 Mar 2012, 11:15 am

Stunning.

They are just ashamed of their ignorance.

Don't "dumb it down". How else will people otherwise improve and expand their vocabulary?



Last edited by nemorosa on 21 Mar 2012, 11:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

Alexender
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21 Mar 2012, 11:17 am

Act like they don't know anything your talking about.

I think I usually use pretty simple language, that might partially be because I have much younger siblings


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DJames
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21 Mar 2012, 11:21 am

...



Last edited by DJames on 21 Mar 2012, 11:34 am, edited 3 times in total.

MrXxx
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21 Mar 2012, 11:32 am

The question was "How do you know when to 'dumb it down?'"

By learning through experiences just like the one you described. From what you say you already do, it sounds reasonable to me as is. You don't sound like you have a very hard time picking up the cues people give you when you lost them with a word or two. I would just look for those cues, and when you do see them, explain the word to them, then keep using it.

There are a lot of words some people consider "common" that I've never heard in certain contexts, or never heard at all. Some of them surprise people. I'm always grateful when people are willing to take it in stride and simply explain it to me. What I don't appreciate are people who roll there eyes or make snide comments about whatever reasons they think I don't know the word (implying that it's my fault). That attitude doesn't help the communication process at all, and does nothing but lower my opinion of them to the level of "snob."


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Oldout
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21 Mar 2012, 12:12 pm

I from near you -- actually the PA Dutch area. My relatives don't like when big words are being used. I suggest you just talk to these people about your pet's visit to the vet or the fact that your roof gutter is overflowing. KISS -- keep it simple stupid!



League_Girl
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21 Mar 2012, 12:19 pm

I think they should be asking you what a word means and it be a good opportunity for them to learn. I wouldn't make fun of them or give them a hard time or show a reaction if they have never heard of a word. When I see people do that, I just think of them as arrogant. That attitude has always annoyed me.



BruceCM
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21 Mar 2012, 12:21 pm

Oooh, prevalent, what a long word, :lol: ! I get that, sometimes, using what I'd think of as reasonable words but usually manage to sort those problems out, when they arise. 8)


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Asp-Z
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21 Mar 2012, 12:23 pm

Don't bring yourself down to their level. Why should you? Just because they're stupid doesn't mean you need to be.



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21 Mar 2012, 12:25 pm

Yes. Even in daily mundane small talk, especially in my school years, I've had to remind myself not to use bigger words or more complex sentence structure. I learned from a young age that it was somehow socially "weird" to "sound really smart" in casual conversation. Kids would always say "Why are you talking like that? What does that mean? What? You're weird." So a lot of what comes out of my mouth is a simplified version of the sentence in my mind. Which is part of the reason for my delay in speech and for stuttering.

But not so much anymore. Recently I've just told myself how ridiculous it was to do this still, considering my age now. So I'm talking the way I want to now, sometimes even on purpose because I think it's funny when something I say goes over someone's head. Like it makes me feel proud. Sounds arrogant, but it helps me pick up my fragile little ego in scary social situations. (I never treat people badly if they don't understand though. I'll explain what I meant if they ask, without sounding condescending.) One of my coworkers speaks English as a second language, and she told me she liked talking to me because I "use big words" and she learns a lot from me. Made me feel pretty good, haha.



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21 Mar 2012, 12:28 pm

I say ignore them. If they can't figure out the context of the word based on what you are talking about, then you shouldn't have to take out sock puppets to discuss anything harder than the letter of the day.



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21 Mar 2012, 12:42 pm

People have been telling me this since I was a child. I love language. I have enough trouble speaking to anyone anyway (my anxiety) that I don't normally make an effort to dumb down my language.

I'm sorry that you have to do so frequently.

I also love using colloquialisms (especially older ones that I happened to pick up from my now elderly parents). It's not uncommon for someone to tell me that they don't know what I mean and when I explain they act like I'm wrong just because they weren't aware of it.



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21 Mar 2012, 12:49 pm

MrXxx wrote:
There are a lot of words some people consider "common" that I've never heard in certain contexts, or never heard at all. Some of them surprise people. I'm always grateful when people are willing to take it in stride and simply explain it to me. What I don't appreciate are people who roll there eyes or make snide comments about whatever reasons they think I don't know the word (implying that it's my fault). That attitude doesn't help the communication process at all, and does nothing but lower my opinion of them to the level of "snob."


Agrees with ^^^^. Plus calling people dumb is not really nice. Sure we can find some words, you don't even know the meaning of.

& not let you use any form of looking up.


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21 Mar 2012, 12:52 pm

I dumb everything down, and people are always surprised when I use big words. They say ''that's a big word for you''.


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MrXxx
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21 Mar 2012, 12:57 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
Don't bring yourself down to their level. Why should you? Just because they're stupid doesn't mean you need to be.


How does that equate to "stupid?"

Have you never encountered a word you didn't know in conversation?


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Joe90
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21 Mar 2012, 1:02 pm

I wish people here would stop calling NTs stupid.


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