When I needed raiment when out on the town
I bought at a Goodwill with least payment down.
They're frugal, they're used, they're OK for the earth--
I used to shop just like this since my birth.
But that was a problem: first, shopping is hell,
And most old casts-offs just don't fit very well.
My best togs were threadbare, the rest didn't fit.
Said I to myself, "let us change this a bit!"
No bathing-trunks now, for I don't own a pool,
No more baseball caps--I don't look like a tool.
Loud T-shirts with logos I no longer wear,
And it has been years since I donned underwear.
Yes, that's a true fact--what I have must swing free,
So trousers that fit are important to me.
Please do not recoil at this information:
High-waisteds with braces improves their locations.
And under each white linen shirt that I wear,
A plain cotton T-shirt must cover the bare.
The guy did without them in Some Like It Hot.
But he's Marlon Brando, and me? I am not.
Accessories? Nice. No, you do not need spats.
However, you won't look complete with no hats.
Felt? Woolen? or Sennet? Depends on the clime.
Relax, you can only wear one at a time.
A jacket of woolens or linens is needed,
They've wonderful pockets, so items unheeded
Like keys, money, jack-knives, can quickly be found,
And not end up missing some place on the ground.
To finish things off under that, wear a vest.
If wearing a watch and a chain, it is best.
To bring tears of pleasure to bystanders' eyes,
Pick out something good from your favorite ties.
These clothes get expensive. But take this one tid-bit:
You really don't need but a couple of outfits.
Should prices prevent you--perhaps you lack wealth,
Break out your old Singer and sew them yourself!
Ah yes, for an Aspie, I'm doing just fine
In garments cut true to Edwardian lines.
Perhaps all these clothes would be too much for you.
Some days in the heat, they're too much for me too.
But there's one caveat that you should remember,
So in the hot summer you're cool as December.
There will be those people who start a commotion.
They wear logo shirts. They're just walking promotions.
(I can't pull it off all the time but I'm gradually working my wardrobe to a 1905-1930s level and it is the perfect duds for this Aspie man. I never knew that clothing could be one of my special interests but I do find it interesting. Yes, I recently rebuilt a 1952 Singer 99 sewing machine (it looks like a small version of the classic cast-iron Singer) and do plan to make my own clothing with it, remodeling older fabrics if I must. It's fun, and the clothing feels great!)
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 134 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 72 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)