Recently figured out I have mild AS

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Hi,

I just recently figured out that I have a mild AS. It definitely runs in my family; I'm sure my dad suffers from it and I've seen some of the symptoms in my little brother as well.
I've always felt disconnected from my peers. Not to sound arrogant, but it seems like most other people my age (19) have no moral backbone. They're always pretending, always caring more about fitting in than anything else. I used to try to fit in, especially in high school. I ended up giving up on it, not because I didn't have any friends, but because the way that most other people act strikes me as disgusting.

I hate it when people pretend to be your friends, only to say all kinds of s**t about you when you're not around. There have been only a few instances where I've found out about it happening to me personally, but I've seen it happen to other people all the time. People like to harass whoever isn't in the room, but they are too afraid to say how they feel to that person's face. Because it's happening to other people all the time, I assume it's being done to me as well.

However, I feel like my social skills aren't as bad as a typical case of AS. I'm actually pretty good at reading emotions/behaviors/etc., as long as I am not being engaged directly. I'm really good at looking at a social situation from the outside and determining how people feel. It's only when I am being talked to directly that my ability to interpret communication suffers. Once I'm directly involved, my emotions start to cloud my judgment and I get nervous and second guess myself. I don't shy away from activities that require socialization, either. I've had a number of leadership positions (club president, marching band section leader, etc.) that require a lot of dealing with other people. I have no problem working with people in school/work settings; it's just the social settings that are tricky. When I'm with friends, I'm often stricken with a paranoia that none of them actually like me. Sometimes I feel like my friends are just "using" me because I can give them rides, etc. I often feel like a nuisance or burden when just "hanging out" with other people my age.

Does anyone else have similar experiences to these?

My main goal right now is to pursue a career in finance. I think my social skills in work environments are pretty decent, because there it makes sense. You know who "the boss" is and you know who your coworkers are. It's just purely social, for fun settings that I struggle with the most. I just hope my AS doesn't interfere with my ability to follow my dreams :\

Welcome!

I can very much relate to what you wrote about your peers. I'm 21 myself and my fellow students puzzle me, but that is very normal around here (WP...).

Maybe something like community theater or political activism if that's your cup of tea? A chance to meet somewhat older persons. And also something off campus, so that all your social eggs so to speak, are not in the one basket of school

As far as career success, you are aware of course that there's a number of famous people who most likely are on the spectrum? People like Jane Austen, the actress Daryl Hannah, the scientist Carl Sagan. And really, I think the case can be made that there's a 20 year period in which three out of four U.S. presidents were on the spectrum. I am thinking of Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter, and Ronald Reagan. Now, Reagan is the really interesting case, but read "The Reagans: Portrait of a Marriage" by Anne Edwards and decide for yourself. Former president Ronald Reagan definitely marched to his own drummer.
http://www.asperger-syndrome.me.uk/people.htm
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt119418.html

So much so, that perhaps we need to remind ourselves, most people on the spectrum, like most people in general are medium-functioning and it's perfectly alright to be medium-functioning. It's all about building a team(s) and contributing to a team in a person's locale. And plus, a great deal of luck is involved. It's all about a combination of talent, hard work, and just plain luck.

We should not "out" living people unless they out themselves. Presidents are one of the very few exceptions.

And Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome!

Well--you know, the autism spectrum is just the extreme end of a larger continuum, from socially clumsy to socially talented. There are a good many people who are just barely off the spectrum--who are socially clumsy, just not delayed enough to need a diagnosis. Maybe you're in that group; or you're just barely over the line into diagnosis territory. It's actually more common to have a very mild case than any other type.

Anyway, whether you have AS proper or just AS traits, you're welcome here; by the time you get close enough to the Spectrum to wonder whether you're on it, you generally have more in common with autistic people than NTs anyway!