How do you feel when you keep yourself from stimming?

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Hello. I have only recently stumbled upon the explanation for why I am, and have been, the way I am...which I do believe is Aspergers. (I am currently working toward a diagnosis). Along with that came the realization that so many of the things I do are stims... rocking, tapping my feet, making odd sounds, humming, chewing my nails, chewing my knuckles, stretching and twisting my hands, scratching my skin, drumming on my collarbone, all sorts of things. I always knew that I was fidgety, but I now know it has a name and a purpose. Since I realized what stimming is, I am beginning to understand some feelings I have sometimes... I can now relate feelings that I'd previously classified to myself as "insane" as a side effect to my AS.

Basically, I've found that when I am made to sit still and listen to something I don't find interesting, especially in a room with fluorescent lights, I fidget like crazy. It gets to a point after a bit where I feel as if I have to make movements that are more and more extreme - eventually I'll run off to the washroom, where I'll jump up and down and flap my hands, or twist my arms and hands all crazy, or distort my face, or pull my hair. I know that these behaviors aren't acceptable in public, and sometimes I have to keep them inside...

When I can't get away, I start feeling as though there are waves of energy coming into my body that need to be released, and it translates into involuntary exaggerated blinking, shudders... I get agitated and anxious, my thoughts become disorganized, and I feel like screaming. This is the "insane" feeling I mentioned above. it's a really hard feeling to describe. Is this sensory overload?

How do you guys feel when you have to prevent yourselves from stimming?

Maybe something like a squeeze ball where it's a more socially acceptable stim.

And fluorescent lights for some people are a sensory issue. I think some of them flicker. (For me, an irritating buzz is more of a sensory issue.)

I made a post yesterday . .

Basketball players stimming with mouthguards?
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp4527086 ... t=#4527086

For me, a session of stimming where I read, talk to myself, watch TV, squeeze and twist a soft T-shirt (I guess classic stimming) as I imagine sports or make up movie scenes and dialogue or just let my imagination roam in a more vague way,

I feel a sense of release like I've processed things and now I'm more centered.

I guess pretty similar to a meditation session.

Trying to contain my stimming is basically impossible. If I try, then I just feel like my body is going to explode (not good!).

Luckily, my "go-to" stem is taking pens apart and putting them back together while I'm working. This can be done under my desk or the table. I think most people assume I am just concentrating really hard.

The only time I don't have that "too much energy going to explode feeling" is when I do yoga. I need to bring a yoga mindset to my everyday activities.

my stimming is whatever I can cook up during the moment.

Such as that sudden paranoia feeling walking down the street, I twiddle my fingers and focus on that until it passes.

Or shove my hands in my pockets and open and close the Inhaler with my thumb and forefinger <-- this one works most well for me.

But, I never really knew a term like this existed until I read this topic, so I may have others I'm not even sure =o

I really want to know what meltdowns look like on an eeg.

For my eeg I was prohibited for stimming (as much as possible, I failed at stopping it sometimes)... for 72 hours. I had many meltdowns during these 72 hours. If I had to deal with the meltdowns I want to at least know what they look like on an eeg.

What's an eeg?

A medical test measuring the electrical patterns of the brain. In my case I was being tested for seizures, and repetitive motions can give false positives for seizures, so I had to attempt to prevent all my stimming for the 72 hours.

Until this point I had not realized how hard this was to do.

That sounds unnerving 0.0"

I can usually last for a few hours, but I start feeling "dis-jointed" after awhile. Definitely uncomfortable. Fortunately, I now mostly use rubber bands instead of flapping socks & strings around in the air.

Sincerely,
Matthew

If I attempt to prevent myself from doing one type of stim, my body will autonomously perform another.
Therefore, I typically do not attempt to prevent my stims.

That seems a lot like what happens to me if I try to stop a stim.

If I don't stim I can't focus or think. Also sounds, smells, and lights start to irritate me more and more. My emotions and energy start to get out of control as well.

I get that feeling, too. My band played a show last Saturday night, and there were two bands that played after us. The first one was indie, and the second one was punk. My legs were bouncing and my hands were tapping/slapping my legs for both bands' sets. About halfway through the punk band's set, I realized that I hadn't stopped bouncing the entire time, so I decided to try to stop (the people next to me were sitting completely still, not moving, and watching the band). I tried to sit completely still in my chair, and I couldn't do it for more than a few seconds because I felt so compelled to move. When I stopped, it felt like everything was enhanced and the music was so loud. I enjoy concerts, but man, that was insane. I felt like I needed to jump out of my body... Like something was crawling under my skin that needed to get out. All of the vibrations, lights, everything... I felt like I had to keep moving. So I continued bouncing my legs/entire body, and tapping for the rest of the show. Afterward I was completely drained and when my dad tried to talk to me in the car on the way home I kept snapping at him because I was so exhausted from the last two hours at the bar, even though all I did was sit down aside from about three songs of standing during the punk band's set. He didn't understand why I was snapping at him, even when I tried to explain.

I get that feeling, too. My band played a show last Saturday night, and there were two bands that played after us. The first one was indie, and the second one was punk. My legs were bouncing and my hands were tapping/slapping my legs for both bands' sets. About halfway through the punk band's set, I realized that I hadn't stopped bouncing the entire time, so I decided to try to stop (the people next to me were sitting completely still, not moving, and watching the band). I tried to sit completely still in my chair, and I couldn't do it for more than a few seconds because I felt so compelled to move. When I stopped, it felt like everything was enhanced and the music was so loud. I enjoy concerts, but man, that was insane. I felt like I needed to jump out of my body... Like something was crawling under my skin that needed to get out. All of the vibrations, lights, everything... I felt like I had to keep moving. So I continued bouncing my legs/entire body, and tapping for the rest of the show. Afterward I was completely drained and when my dad tried to talk to me in the car on the way home I kept snapping at him because I was so exhausted from the last two hours at the bar, even though all I did was sit down aside from about three songs of standing during the punk band's set. He didn't understand why I was snapping at him, even when I tried to explain.

You know, it's funny; until I started to suspect I was an aspie and learned more about what stimming encompassed, I always assumed I was just really fidgety.

My cubicle is well stocked with stress balls, Lego minifigures, pens, stuffed critters, and other odds and ends to relieve the urge to pick up something and fiddle with it. My stim of choice is to bounce my legs and tap rhythmically; pacing and talking to myself are my go-to when I'm by myself. I find for me that chewing gum relieves some of the urge to stim in more apparent ways, especially when I'm stressed.

I keep myself from stimming if someone might walk in, other than the covering-my-face stim, which is constant when I'm thinking. How does it feel? Anxious and depressed.