do aspies have less patience with other people?

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melissajean
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08 May 2012, 10:22 am

I have increasingly become more and more irritated with other people. For example, I can't stand it when people sniffle, whistle or play their music loudly. It is getting worse as I grow older. Is this an aspie thing or is it just me?



Delphiki
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08 May 2012, 10:24 am

Lots of times autistic people don't have much patients and/or have sensory issues that bother them


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zombiegirl2010
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08 May 2012, 10:36 am

I have absolutely NO patience for others. It's not a quality I'm proud of.


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2wheels4ever
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08 May 2012, 10:48 am

I am often baffled by the paradox that here I am supposedly unable to relate to others, yet I don't slam doors late at night, dawdle in the checkout lines or unleash my GERD attacks on a captive audience or maintain a phone conversation in front of retail staff. As far as wannabe gang thugs playing their loud 'music', I've found for some reason the smell and sound of a 2 stroke exhaust finds them not able to roll up their windows fast enough



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08 May 2012, 10:59 am

Well do you go clubbing listening to music that's way past the damaging ear levels. Were you can feel the vibration smashing through your body. If not, then while they go more deaf from the music, they end up having to shout loader & loader & turn the value up on they speakers to hear clearly. Really does not take much to watch them get to 30 years old with shot livers from abusing they body & chain smoking. I got figures on why people drink & on socializing its shocking, with many other reasons. Maybe they like the vibrations going through they body, but maybe too drunk to release how loud the music is, or too drunk to understand.

Then you got the ones who don't wear ear protection, ye they hearing is going to be shot.

Car Exhaust:- Why would they want to roll up they windows with the exhaust. They be cueing up to take turns inhaling it.

Really can track all this stuff, but like always no one cares. No one does enough. Too busy forcing them to be more stressed, & anxious. Just a cycle that is going to go on, until someone changes it.



Ann2011
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08 May 2012, 12:03 pm

2wheels4ever wrote:
I am often baffled by the paradox that here I am supposedly unable to relate to others, yet I don't slam doors late at night, dawdle in the checkout lines or unleash my GERD attacks on a captive audience or maintain a phone conversation in front of retail staff.


I know! I have to constantly suck up the annoying noises and clumsiness of others. I am impatient, but other people are so annoying. And yet I'm the one who is supposed to alter my behavior to conform to socially accepted standards. This paradox drives me to distraction! Honestly I don't know who created the "normal" social rules, but I think they may have had their wires crossed.



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08 May 2012, 1:24 pm

I can't stand people sneezing, coughing, clearing their throat, and yawning. Those are the four worst things I hate people doing, unless they're the type to do it at a more bearable tone. But otherwise, every time I get on the bus there is always somebody with a loud cough, or somebody who sneezes and spreads their germs, or somebody keep clearing their throat or even somebody yawning loudly. It drives me insane. I know people can't help it but.....well I don't know how to finish that sentence because I know people can't help it no more than I can't, but that still doesn't stop me from being intolerant.

I can't help being an Aspie, but people are intolerant of me, so.....


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OJani
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08 May 2012, 1:48 pm

melissajean wrote:
I have increasingly become more and more irritated with other people. For example, I can't stand it when people sniffle, whistle or play their music loudly. It is getting worse as I grow older. Is this an aspie thing or is it just me?

Not just with people, objects, too. I've just typed in my post on a "smart"-phone and hit the preview button when the damned thing restarted itself... Do you think I was angry? You guessed right. :evil:

When I was younger I could tolerate better some irritating sensory experiences than I can do now. Maybe because I can't accommodate or get used to them as easily as I could before (increased rigidity with age). Or maybe if I could regain or develop my self-confidence in a healthy way I could tolerate better the unwanted and irritating stuff I have to deal with daily...



Miron121
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08 May 2012, 2:31 pm

I dunno but I certainly do.

It's getting worse as I age.



Tamsin
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08 May 2012, 2:38 pm

Outwardly I appear patient. Inwardly I'm yelling at whoever is annoying me.



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08 May 2012, 5:34 pm

I have no patience for people who talk like Valley Girls. It used to be rich snobs who did that. Everybody does it except for me these days.


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bruinsy33
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08 May 2012, 5:41 pm

It depends on the circumstances and the people involved as far as my patience level.I have never been comfortable around the gregarious ,loud personality I usually tune out pretty quickly .



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08 May 2012, 5:42 pm

I have learned patience, but respect others don't have it.
Unfortunately I've found with some other aspies they have little patience and forget to judge an aspie like an aspie not an NT.



Jaz1787
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08 May 2012, 7:35 pm

i sometimes joke about highschool being "anger management training"

truth be told i think it is my horses that have helped me not lose patience or get cranky, they helped to learn how to calm quickly and work around issues.

driving with my little sister (who is not NT but she isn't AS, she's BPD among other things) and she is always amazed that i can i wave off other drivers being tossers. I just have bit of a swear and move on with my life. she fumes, can't let go of anything.

i find things other people do extremely grating on my nerves, but i find i cope with things pretty well.

except waiting. i really hate waiting. oh and crying babies.


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08 May 2012, 7:42 pm

In my experience--more patience, actually. The only limit seems to be when someone else's actions are physically hurting you, irritating your sensory sensitivity, at which point we may seem to be unreasonably impatient to anyone who doesn't realize just how unpleasant that sort of thing is.

I've learned to inhibit my response, withdraw instead of snapping at people, when they are doing that. They don't know any better and I can't explain it to every single casual acquaintance.


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08 May 2012, 7:54 pm

in most things i have much more patience than most people. for the things that do irritate me i am usually just bothered inside but do nothing to present these feeling, or remove myself from the troubling situation if possible