50 Shades of Grey

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If you have not read the trilogy, please do not comment on this thread..

Just wondering if anyone thinks Christian is an Aspire. My wife and I both read the series and really enjoyed them. After reading various posts here I realized that my own experiences and feelings are probably due to AS as many here with AS report experiences that mirror my own so closely, that is scary. I also was able to identify whit Christian and his feelings/ emotions... esp the fear of getting close emotionally and loosing that and not feeling worthy of love etc. I mention this because I just realized that somethings my wife says to me happen to trigger my greatest fear which is that of her leaving me or saying I may need to find someone more compatible with my interests...
I know no one else will want me if she ever left and it will totally destroy me if it ever happens... Recently she asked me why I was attracted to her.. why I married her etc. but when I reversed the question she really could not or did not make the effort to give me a clear answer which I have still not been able to process/ accept or whatever u call it.... I am totally on the same plane as Christian on this.
On another note we actually learned a good "trick" from reading the books. Safe words and Hard/soft limits. We have not used them or need them from a sexual standpoint but for issues in life and what we do/ interests/ behaviors etc. Recently we were discussing things we wanted to do (in life/ not sex) and one of my interests my wife said it was a Hard Limit for her. I guess this was good as we sort of were able to explore why this was the case for her.. I seems to be some sort of phobia of hers that neither of us were probably aware of . we also noted that I am much better at expressing my feelings in text and email than in person. same with Christian and Ana...

I think I am going to text my wife now and tell her that when saying she may leave or I need to find someone with more similar interests is a Hard Limit for me and only to say it again if she really means it... I hope she won't say it again

*don't read this if your mental health can be compromised by reading about non-consenting sex
I've read it and it is a sh**ty, poorly disguised affirmation of rape culture. He takes her jeans off while she's asleep, and she assumes that because he didn't rape her WHILE SHE WAS UNCONSCIOUS he was not sexually interested in her or was celibate. He acts like he deserves a reward for not raping her while she was asleep, and she basically agrees with him.
People are going to go straight from the weird, abusive relationship in Twilight to this train wreck, which is the same repackaged shiz from ages past.



Honestly I don't think your question has earned an answer based on your commentary about your marriage.

It's Twilight fanfiction with the names changed. While I think book_noodles's "poorly disguised affirmation of rape culture" comment might be a bit much, it's certainly a crappy book and it's irritating everyone's talking about it like it's good BDSM erotica when it just is not - it certainly gives people bad ideas about it.

Then again, it would be creppy... It's literally Twilight fanfiction...

Oh it's certainly borderline abusive in Twilight, I'll agree there, and this is just the same because it literally is Twilight fanfiction which later got published somehow.

I should note that I have nothing wrong with a consensual D/s dynamic (quite the opposite, in fact, I enjoy such things very much) but that's not the kind of thing these books present and that's the problem. Even if you want something that's rape fantasy fiction, there's much better out there.

Would I be correct in saying that both of you have been in, or are in abusive relationships... I did not see it at all as a "rape culture" book that you claim. its a love story and a romance.. did you both read all 3 books? He never rapes her or even does anything sexual with out her expressed permission and she has the ability to stop it at any moment and he respects that.

Back to the point, I did text my wife today as I said and she told me she had no idea that I reacted/felt the way I do when she said things like that. I think its her coping mechanism to get my attention. Only from reading this forum and the test have I realized I am probably not getting any of the hints when she is depressed or upset over something... Im gonna try and see if we can talk about it tonite. or as we have done on several occasions sit in the living room together and text each other... that's weird right?