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dgd1788
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23 Nov 2006, 12:53 am

Have any of you gotten crap from people because you ask way too many questions? I ask more questions than any of my family members. If it annoys them then they give me a question limit of five.

Are you like this?



SamuraiSaxen
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23 Nov 2006, 1:14 am

Yes, I ask a lot of questions too, maybe it annoys my family but they don't put a question limit, they only say "SHUT UP".

My mom says it's very hardto keep something hidden (an object, answer, the truth, ...)because I investigate a lot with questions and watching every action of every member of my family.



novawake
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23 Nov 2006, 1:58 am

OMG yes... well it was incredibly noticeable back in elementary and high school. Every teacher I ever had would tell me that I was not allowed to ask or answer any more questions and "please just put your hand down, because I'm not calling on you anymore" :P

On occasion I'd be so happy because if no one in the whole class would try to answer a question, THEN she'd call on me. :P Usually I'd get the questions right.... While that might sound good(at the time I thought it was), most kids didn't like me because of it. They thought I was "showing off" or something. Even if I was doing a good job and enjoying myself, they would resent me for it. Sort of sad that I wasn't rewarded for trying or having the correct answer... :/ But even so, I still kept at it.

But even more than the questions I answered when called on, I asked even more... I asked so many, that often even my teacher wouldn't know the answer....lol I'm always surprised when a teacher meets my enthusiasm back then with just this dumb look like "I can't believe you are seriously this interested, you must be jerking me around."

The other extreme was I'd have classes I had almost no interest and would fall asleep or do something else during class... Those teachers got mad at me too. :P I was really "well known" at school >.> lol The fact I have crossed eyes makes me stand out a little too. EVERYONE would remember me.

I didn't really have this problem with my mom because she can talk forever(which wasn't bad for me, since I can ask forever) and she's OCD(so she says)... I dunno if she's on the autistic spectrum, but it's definitely a possiblity. So me asking her a million questions didn't seem to matter to her much, but she didn't always want to answer me.



Last edited by novawake on 23 Nov 2006, 4:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

Scintillate
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23 Nov 2006, 2:33 am

Ahhhh, these polarities seem defining characteristics.

I remember being told to shutup too, funny that an inquisitive child should actually be prevented from learning about interests.

Nowdays (I'm 21) I tend to still ask people questions as a way of receiving information, in return I offer facts I know they haven't heard, I believe I'm developing it into a give/take method of interaction, my own form of socialising :P

Still though its nigh impossible to know when I've given too much or asking too much info.


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23 Nov 2006, 3:23 am

Oh yeah I ask lot of questions too. It annoyed the hell out of the kids in my high school when I went there.



Flagg
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23 Nov 2006, 3:43 am

I constantly pose questions in class, especially my Virology and Toxicology class. My teacher loves it though, his first curious student in years.


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Aspie_Chav
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23 Nov 2006, 4:19 am

One night we went out to a dinner party with my work mates, everyone starting eat their sweet when it arrived except for a one polish immigrant who had a French accent. He said that woman should always start eating their meal first it. One of the female workmates said how good manner he has, saying how rare it is for men these days to have such manors.

I said why must woman go first, she says it is good manors, then I said how does good manors dictate that one should let women go first at dinner time, she said that it is just that way. I said why is it just that way. She said she doesn’t want to go into a deep conversion about this. She, like everyone else, wanted to have fun. I was just stealing the coffee-chocolates and other freebies without before others, too pre occupied with other things, could get them.


I don’t follow rule willy-nilly without proper understanding of them and their implications.



WildMan
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23 Nov 2006, 5:07 am

It used to drive my dad up the wall.

That's why I'm getting into academics... so that I can ask weird questions for a living.



MrMark
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23 Nov 2006, 6:11 am

Not so much that I asked too many questions, but I asked the questions that people didn't want to answer truthfully. "Why?" is a real good example. I still do it today.


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Hazelwudi
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23 Nov 2006, 7:06 am

I think the reason why people on the spectrum do this is about like this...

1) Deep intellect - More often curious about various phenomena than other people are.

2) Lack of understanding of social cues / cultural norms - When the question involves explanations of the behaviors of other people, what is self-evident to an NT is not self-evident to most Aspies, hence the questions.

3) Behavioral conditioning - Aspergers seems to limit the conversational modes a person has access to. When asking questions is the only conversational behavior in a person's repertoire that sometimes results in a positive response from others, they feel compelled to do it, even beyond the bounds of simple curiosity.

Let's be honest, most Aspies just don't seem to have a thorough grasp of the conversational modes used by NTs. Most aspies I've known are confined to only five modes...

A) Barraging a person with questions.
B) Ignoring people entirely... the Aspie is off in his own little world.
C) Complaining about their problems.
D) Holding forth at great length on one of their own interests.
E) Picking/poking/taunting others.

How do people respond?

To A - Sometimes responds positively and answers questions, but sometimes glares at Aspie and tells them to shut up.
To B - Considers the Aspie to be defective or self-obsessed.
To C - Considers the Aspie to be a whiner, and either ignores the Aspie or starts taunting him.
To D - Boredom, and either begins picking at Aspie, tells him to shut up, or starts making transparent excuses as to why they need to leave.
To E - Picks at Aspie in turn.

Option A is the only one that even occasionally evokes a positive response.



fresco
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23 Nov 2006, 7:09 am

I ask people lots of questions its the only way I keep interested in being in thier company.



Scintillate
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23 Nov 2006, 7:23 am

MrMark wrote:
Not so much that I asked too many questions, but I asked the questions that people didn't want to answer truthfully. "Why?" is a real good example. I still do it today.


hahah this brought back some funny memories.

Why are people afraid of why?

:D


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MrMark
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23 Nov 2006, 7:39 am

I frequently ask why with respect to the reason for the rules. If I'm going to be making decisions regarding enforcing or making an exception to the rule, I want to know what the spirit and intent of the rule is so that I can make a better decision. People often think I'm being confrontational.

I asked my wife's son once why he was doing something a particular way, and he told me. I said, "Oh, here's a much easier way to do that." He hemmed and hawed and said he'd rather do it this way, and I realized that the reason he gave me was true but it was not the real reason, which he felt shy or ashamed about. My way of doing the task wasn't going to accomplish his real objective.

I find that "Why?' is the question that people most often give a less than completely honest response to. As long as what they say is true, it doesn't matter if it's not the real reason, they still feel like they haven't lied. I think it's fundamentally about shame.


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Scintillate
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23 Nov 2006, 8:00 am

It is strange hey..

I had to know why something was right before I applied it as morally right for myself..

I had to know why something I was doing was wrong before I could stop doing it.


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MrMark
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23 Nov 2006, 8:07 am

Yeah, children do really well when they understand the reasons for the rules.


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Corvus
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23 Nov 2006, 10:30 am

Yup, they encourage me to ask questions at work and I warned them that I'd ask a lot.. People got annoyed at my last job, they'll be annoyed here soon enough, if not already