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CockneyRebel
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25 May 2012, 9:55 pm

I also over explain things. I guess that like most people, I like the sound of my own voice.


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25 May 2012, 10:21 pm

I am constantly over-explaining things. People usually get the point after the first 30 seconds or so. Then they interrupt me and want to move on.



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25 May 2012, 11:27 pm

I do that a lot, too. Must be a common Aspie trait, as everyone in this thread says that they do.


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26 May 2012, 12:42 am

Doesn't it always seem other people want information, then suddenly they want it to go away. I watch myself in 3rd person & cannot turn it off. Every conversation seems to end w/ "what just happened there?" Yes, I understand.


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26 May 2012, 1:30 am

edgewaters wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
Last week my tendency to overexplain that I am not at risk of killing myself in the near future nearly got me hospitalized for being suicidal.


:lol: Made my belly hurt. It's not funny really but it would make a great skit, and its running in my mind.


Well, the whole thing didn't upset me, and I did clear it up. It serves as yet another reminder to me that my communication problems are real. I think it would make a good comedy sketch.



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26 May 2012, 9:28 am

bobbythebluesman wrote:
Over-explaining and under-explaining could be an indicator of your "care" level.

When you care alot, you explain alot.

When you are ambivalent you explain less.

Yes? No? Maybe so?


I have no idea. :lol:



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26 May 2012, 9:35 am

Or maybe communication is the problem & you should chat "Purple".


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CanisMajor
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26 May 2012, 4:21 pm

Sometimes it's over-explaining, but other times it's just trying to be very, very specific. For example, I was once driving with a friend and we were behind a really slow car. My friend was complaining, "There is NO REASON to drive that slow! Ever!"

I wanted to agree with him, but, being ever-so methodical, I ended up making a whole list of reasons why he was wrong. "Yeah!... Well, unless there's a problem with their car. Or they're trying to find an address. Or they're lost. Or they're trying to change CDs. Or if they're about to pull over..." etc etc.

I tend to do that very often. I always thought it was because of my intense hatred of hypocrites and my strong desire to never be one- I wouldn't want to say "Hey, stop driving so slowly!" then, when I'm in a situation where I have be the slow driver, somebody behind me yells at me to speed up. I would have no right to be upset at their impatience if I couldn't be patient when I was in their shoes!

Then again... I think I just totally over-explained myself... 8O



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26 May 2012, 4:40 pm

I over explain - usually by saying the same thing a few times but in a slightly different way. Sometimes I simply repeat myself without meaning to. Also, I either give too much information and have a tendency to 'overshare' as my sister puts its, or I don't give enough detail.



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26 May 2012, 4:54 pm

I do it. My wife doesn't like it. :D But after she learned it was part of being an Aspie, she gave me abit more leeway, fortunatly.


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26 May 2012, 5:03 pm

yep, can relate to this, I like to explain in detail. I also tend to keep talking and leave half sentences hanging in the air when I had already finished explaining everything and it seems to others I have had a mental block but in fact I've just kept going when I should have stopped.



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26 May 2012, 5:10 pm

YellowBanana wrote:
In writing I am a chronic over-explainer. In speech I am a chronic under-explainer. Both irritate others. I can't get it right!


Same thing going on here.



abc123
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27 May 2012, 2:46 am

Yep I have to be correct. I answer than add lots of provisos to make sure what I said was correct as the other person may need the extra information.

I also cut off mid sentence and can't finish.

The worst thing is it doesn't work both ways NTs spend hours talking and getting nowhere and repeating the same things but I say a few things and they look bored. Hypocrisy I spend hours listening to them while I hardly speak.



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27 May 2012, 3:40 am

My guess is that a significant cause of the over-explaining / under-explaining problem is our lack of recognition of body language. So unless people we are talking to explicitly say they have understood or not understood what we have said, we are left floundering around not knowing how much detail to give or if indeed we need to try to repeat ourselves using different words.

People often cut me off during the second explanation and tell me that they understood what I was saying the first time around without me needing to repeat / rehash what I'd said. Perhaps they gave subtle body language clues about their level of comprehension the first time around and I was just oblivious to the signals.


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edgewaters
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27 May 2012, 3:42 am

TallyMan wrote:
My guess is that a significant cause of the over-explaining / under-explaining problem is our lack of recognition of body language. So unless people we are talking to explicitly say they have understood or not understood what we have said, we are left floundering around not knowing how much detail to give or if indeed we need to try to repeat ourselves using different words.


Hmmm ... that might be plausible ... I used to drive my parents nuts when I was a kid, because I'd finish almost every sentence with "right mom?" or "right dad?" unless it was a question rather than a statement.

The thing is, why do we do it on the internet, too? There's no body language involved yet the difference in communication is still apparent.



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27 May 2012, 1:36 pm

My Aspie husband does this, and it can be really painful. Yes/no question or something that needs one sentence can morph into a 10 minute monolog, with everyone around mentally checking out.

It is really bad at a doctor appointment. When Fior went for his Aspie diagnoses appt., he told the psych guy he couldn't possibly have Asperger. Then promptly dragged out a dossier the size of the Manhattan phone book with all the the tiniest details of his life. About 3/4 ths of it, the psych guy didn't give a s**t about. And Fior got angry when the dude asked a relative question. Fior felt the psych needed the whole, excruciating long story FIRST, then questions.

I'll be honest, I checked out 5 minutes into the monolog. Psych guy was very polite and manage to reign Fior in around the 20 min mark.

Fior can't prioritize anything. Any subject needs the PhD thesis behind it. Mix horrible executive functioning skills, total lack of noticing body language and a helping of social anxiety, Fior can talk non stop about ketsup, when you ask, "Can you pass the ketsup over here."