Page 1 of 2 [ 22 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Mitch8817
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Apr 2006
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,127
Location: Victoria, Australia

18 Nov 2006, 2:20 pm

I think I may have it, so I was wondering if you guys could help me by answering some questions.

With guys who JUST have Aspergers: do you become anxious in social situations? Or perhaps just an ordinary nervousness because you doubt your social skills are up to scratch for the situation?

And to those with AS and SAD, or just SAD: Could you describe it for me?



Xenon
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Feb 2006
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,708
Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

18 Nov 2006, 2:28 pm

Mitch8817 wrote:
With guys who JUST have Aspergers: do you become anxious in social situations?


No. The only real emotion I experience in social situations is boredom.


_________________
"Some mornings it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps." -- Emo Philips


SteelMaiden
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Aug 2006
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,841
Location: London

18 Nov 2006, 2:34 pm

Mitch8817 wrote:
do you become anxious in social situations? Or perhaps just an ordinary nervousness because you doubt your social skills are up to scratch for the situation?


Both to be honest. I get anxious usually in large groups of people that I don't know. I also feel nervous because I feel like a social idiot compared to all the socially-complex-and-experienced NTs (not that I'm especially jealous, I just feel uncomfortable).


_________________
I am a partially verbal classic autistic. I am a pharmacology student with full time support.


blondie
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jun 2004
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 385
Location: San Antonio, Texas

18 Nov 2006, 3:53 pm

just Aspergers and I get anxious in social situations


_________________
I am 21yrs old and have 3 younger brothers.
There are 4 aspies in our family, dad, me and my
two little brothers 16, 8.


simon2wright
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 1 Feb 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 90

18 Nov 2006, 4:13 pm

I suffer from social anxiety, so I try to avoid situations when I have to be with lots of other people, also some aspies prefer to be with just 1 or 2 people at a time, the only time I am ok with a group of people is at the aspergers support group I go to.
I think if things were the other way round so that 99% of people had aspergers, the 1% who were NT would have the same problems as we do with a large group of people as they would be seen as the different one.
Simon.



SteelMaiden
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Aug 2006
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,841
Location: London

18 Nov 2006, 4:51 pm

simon2wright wrote:
I suffer from social anxiety, so I try to avoid situations when I have to be with lots of other people, also some aspies prefer to be with just 1 or 2 people at a time, the only time I am ok with a group of people is at the aspergers support group I go to.
I think if things were the other way round so that 99% of people had aspergers, the 1% who were NT would have the same problems as we do with a large group of people as they would be seen as the different one.
Simon.


Indeed all the NT people would be seeking larger groups and more parties!


_________________
I am a partially verbal classic autistic. I am a pharmacology student with full time support.


Corvus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Sep 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,667
Location: Calgary

18 Nov 2006, 6:26 pm

I get bored, but I get anxious because people will think I'm some arrogant as*hole if I stop listening to them all talk at once

I also dont like larger crowds, too much chaos, frustrates me, I just want to organize it all :D



ghostgurl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,557
Location: Orange County, CA

18 Nov 2006, 6:42 pm

Social anxiety is described as a fear of being judged by others, but I've also seen it described as being a fear of interacting with others in social situations. I think I used to be more afraid of people judging me, but not as much now. People with social anxiety often have irrational thoughts about what others may be thinking of them. Like for example "I just know I'll say the wrong thing" or "They think I'm ugly" or "Everyone thinks I'm stupid" So you see it's usually the thoughts about themselves that are irrational, thus they often suffer from low self-esteem and depression.

I think I used to have more severe social anxiety in the past and I kinda did worry about what others were thinking of me. But now when I think of it I don't think I really have much in the way of irrational thoughts. Well, at least not any I'm aware of. Now days I get more anxious around people I don't know and thinking of things to say to people. Perhaps people with Asperger's have a different kind of social anxiety than people with the actual disorder have, maybe more to do with knowing what to say at the right time, or engaging in small talk.

It's still social anxiety though, regardless

More info here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety_disorder


_________________
Currently Reading: Survival by Juliet E. Czerneda
http://dazed-girl.livejournal.com/
Vote Kalister 2008


Corvus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Sep 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,667
Location: Calgary

18 Nov 2006, 6:49 pm

"I just know I'll say the wrong thing"

I censor myself because I know people won't be able to handle the truth. Jack Nicholson was right "You cant handle the truth"



NorahW
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 4 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 108

18 Nov 2006, 9:18 pm

Mitch8817 wrote:
I think I may have it, so I was wondering if you guys could help me by answering some questions.

With guys who JUST have Aspergers: do you become anxious in social situations? Or perhaps just an ordinary nervousness because you doubt your social skills are up to scratch for the situation?

And to those with AS and SAD, or just SAD: Could you describe it for me?


I've been diagnosed several times with SAD and also Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD), never with AS (though I keep trying to be). With me it's a fear of being judged as stupid or weird. Also thinking that I have no social skills whether or not I do, and that everyone thinks I have no social skills and doesn't want to be around me. I'm afraid to ask anyone on the simplest of social outings, such as to go to get coffee at work. If I do ever get up enough nerve to go to a social occasion I usually enjoy myself, though I sometimes feel I don't have much to add to the conversation. Because I've had SAD and AvPD for so many years, I've never had a lot of normal life experiences that many others my age have had, so this makes me seem even more weird to others, and means I have even less to talk about when I'm with others.

Do you have AS and SAD both, or SAD only?



markaudette
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 702
Location: Middle Tennessee, USA

18 Nov 2006, 11:06 pm

Oh my god, yes.

I definitely get nervous and anxious in social situations. I get so nervous that sometimes I simply cannot think and I just white out.



paulsinnerchild
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,181

19 Nov 2006, 12:57 am

I was diagnosed with SAD in 1984 but I did not know at the time I was already diagnosed as autistic in 1961. My present diagnosis is the same as it was back in 1961 now that has come to light. SAD is not so much the issue now as I can function in the presence in a crowd of people no problems such as panic attacks. Panic attacks and anxiety in crowds seem to be one of the hallmarks of this disorder. But I personally have huge issues with socially interacting with them and have serious communication, speech and listening issues. I cannot pick out individual voices in that crowd even though if the crowd itself may not frighten me. There would have to be a riot or something going on for me to be really scared.


_________________
"


Last edited by paulsinnerchild on 19 Nov 2006, 1:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

Scintillate
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Oct 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,274
Location: Perth

19 Nov 2006, 1:18 am

Hmmn

When I'm anxious I over-analyse every single conversation around me trying to work out whats going on. I tend to freak out much more in smaller groups.

However even when I'm not anxious (ie: last night I was out at a party) I'm always left out so I end up spending time thinking for an hour or so working out something cool or interesting to say.

Last night I was playing a banjo I found at this party, I didn't realise but I was told later by my brother, that I'd been playing it for over 2 hours, no wonder people told me to shutup, in my mind I was contributing much more to the group than all the blab around me :P

Anyway I've been diagnosed twice with S.A.D (I always find sad ironic). I think its because since I was young I developed a way of filtering the facts out of conversations and trying to interject my own interests to get something going I could be a part of. When this fails (3/4 of the time) I tend to start getting very anxious and wondering if they hate me etc.


_________________
All hail the new flesh, cause it suits me fine!


krex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,106
Location: Village of the Damned

19 Nov 2006, 3:54 am

Yet another AS issue I find confusing to quantify.......

When I was really young,I felt little interest in "playing with others"I didnt know anyone with my interests and I found kids annoying

As a teen....I really wanted to socialize with the objective of finding "a soul mate" I would tolerate social situations(with the aid of alcohol)but only if there was the slimmest of chances of meeting that
"Other alien".

In my twenties I wanted to "belong to a group" have a sense of family and connection that I was not a lone mutant.....

By my late thirties....I decided the whole process wasnt worth the problems that came with it, and I began to return to my self impossed isolation of childhood.

Full circle it appears.I have a boyfriend who is my best friend and I have you folks,which I consider my lost tribe....I dont feel any other social need.I force myself to be in a few social situations for my boyfriend(with his family who are very nice.)I am always afraid of saying something to upset them,because I have done it with others so often.Even though they seem to except and like me,I will always wonder....NT's can fake it soooo well.


_________________
Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesn't mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang

Visit my wool sculpture blog
http://eyesoftime.blogspot.com/


wedrifid
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 7 Nov 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 46

19 Nov 2006, 8:58 am

krex wrote:
Even though they seem to except and like me,I will always wonder....NT's can fake it soooo well.
Let them. Then it is just their problem and you can be content. ;)