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fefe333
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11 Jun 2012, 10:47 pm

well, one of my good friends (lets call her A) recently quit talking to me and being very rude to me. Since I can hardly read body movements or facial expressions, I had no idea why. One of my other friends (lets call her L) is also good friends with A and they like keeping secrets and gossiping. So I asked L if she knew why A kept ignoring me and she played dumb and said she had no idea. I asked her again today and she said "um... No?" and I said "I think you do know and your just not telling me" so L said "well A thinks your annoying"

I just nodded and walked away. I didn't take this as an offence, but now I'm starting to wonder, how am I suddenly annoying if we have been good friends for 2+ years? And how should I go about this? Should I ask A why she thinks I'm annoying or should I just leave her alone? Since there's only 4 days left in the school year I've been leaving her alone.

A is also having a huge end of the year party and seems to enjoy talking (bragging) about it infront of me because its obvious she's not inviting me. (when she's inviting the rest of my grade?)

sorry this turned into more of a rant and your probably thinking "crap its just school girl problems" but this is really bothering me :(
I would very much appreciate some advice :\


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I am a 14 year old girl.
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aspie quiz results: 172/200
I am suspected to have aspergers, but I'm not diagnosed.


CockneyRebel
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11 Jun 2012, 11:02 pm

That's the reason that I'm wary about NT females. I was treated that way by my same sex peers when I was going through school.


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Kinme
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11 Jun 2012, 11:11 pm

*Siiigh*... This kinda crap happened to me frequently while in middle school and high school. I just ignored it and went on with life. Many of them ended up befriending me again shortly after. Ignore them if they aren't going to tell you the truth; you're causing yourself more grief by even bothering to ask.



outofplace
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11 Jun 2012, 11:28 pm

The problem is that people at that age are very fickle. Their hormones are in overdrive and sometimes they do not realize the harm they cause others. Most human beings tend to be pleasure driven creatures and quite shallow. Thus, if someone is not fun to them at the moment, they have no value to them. There is no deep thought put into determining why someone is the way they are and trying to help them since that would take effort, and effort is not fun. Therefore, I wouldn't look at it as a flaw in yourself but rather as a flaw in the person who is being rude and inconsiderate to your feelings.



outofplace
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11 Jun 2012, 11:28 pm

The problem is that people at that age are very fickle. Their hormones are in overdrive and sometimes they do not realize the harm they cause others. Most human beings tend to be pleasure driven creatures and quite shallow. Thus, if someone is not fun to them at the moment, they have no value to them. There is no deep thought put into determining why someone is the way they are and trying to help them since that would take effort, and effort is not fun. Therefore, I wouldn't look at it as a flaw in yourself but rather as a flaw in the person who is being rude and inconsiderate to your feelings.



questor
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11 Jun 2012, 11:57 pm

Anyone who treats a friend this way isn't a friend. Furthermore, it's clear that she has dumped you as a friend, but you aren't ready to let go. Holding on only works if both are doing it--she isn't. She is not your friend. Stop hanging around her and mooning over a friendship that doesn't exist, and over someone who isn't worth having for a friend. Get on with your life. There are plenty of decent people out there who are worth having a friend, but you are going to have a hard time finding them as long as you are still moping about over this lost cause. Here are some better things you could, and should, be doing instead.

- Exercise. It generates mood boosting endorphins.

- Read funny stories and watch funny shows. Humor also generates endorphins.

- Eat healthy, and enough of it. A healthier diet will boost your immune system and is also good for your mind. Skimping on amount of food leads to depression, crankiness, and being more prone to get sick.

- Get enough rest. Being tired leads to depression, crankiness, and being more prone to get sick, too.

- Listen to and/or play music. This is mood boosting.

- Volunteer. There are people worse off than we are, who would really appreciate the help. It's also a good way to meet people, and boost your self image and mood.

- Take up a hobby or join a club. These are good ways to meet people who share your interests.

- Get involved in community activities. Attend town meetings, events at local libraries and other local organizations. Attend local sporting events, fairs, and art shows. Attend and/or participate in local theater groups. These are all great ways to meet people and boost your self image and mood.

- Employment/or self employment. Great way to meet people, boost self image, put money in your wallet, gain experience. Since you have been having trouble finding work as an employee, perhaps you should consider self employment. There are many types to choose from.

Now stop crying in your root beer, and start living! :D


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vanhalenkurtz
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12 Jun 2012, 3:14 am

fefe333 wrote:
your probably thinking "crap its just school girl problems" but this is really bothering me :( I would very much appreciate some advice :\


Who says "school girl problems" aren't big problems? Sympathy. Advice? Now is the time to let your special interest(s) get you elevated above the damage.


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fefe333
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12 Jun 2012, 8:52 am

thank you guys for the help :) since theres only 4 days left I'm going to ignor it and move on. I'll try to be friends to the 2 people that I actually trust .


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I am a 14 year old girl.
I have synesthesia.
aspie quiz results: 172/200
I am suspected to have aspergers, but I'm not diagnosed.


theoddone
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13 Jun 2012, 6:21 pm

I'm so sorry, people can be so cruel. Clearly she isn't a good friend by doing that. Guessing by friend A's behavior she may be doing the "you're not cool enough to be my friend" thing. If it were me, I'd leave and ignore her because if she isn't going to be a good friend, then why worry about her party because there are better things to do. If you want someone to talk to you can inbox me on here.



Alfonso12345
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13 Jun 2012, 6:34 pm

fefe333 wrote:
thank you guys for the help :) since theres only 4 days left I'm going to ignor it and move on. I'll try to be friends to the 2 people that I actually trust .


This sounds like a good plan. When people suddenly decide one day to not be your friend anymore, then they probably never will be good friends, so it's best to just avoid them. At least there are two friends you can trust.



houseofpanda
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13 Jun 2012, 6:42 pm

fefe333 wrote:
thank you guys for the help :) since theres only 4 days left I'm going to ignor it and move on. I'll try to be friends to the 2 people that I actually trust .


:) :P :D :wink: :) :P :lol: :D :P :P

If those 4 days get tough, rush back, chat us up.