Decreasing the rambling.

Post Reply New Topic

I ramble and I go off on tangents when I converse with people.

How do I keep to the point when I talk, and not speak too much? Like I'm doing now, but in conversation. I have trouble with ending conversations.

Rambling and tangents are a Free State form of conversation, and people (all types) have a tendency to answer/ discuss/ respond to the last thing the other person just said.
Staying on the subject or circling back to the subject is Anchoring.
I do this a lot and it drives the NTs insane (apparently) -as they often claim I'm arguing in circles and think I'm lost.
I, on the other hand, go insane(r) when they change the topic 12 times and that's proof they were originally correct in assumptions.
Anchoring is a superb humor technique, it's fun and apparently witty to refer to an earlier subject, humorously linking it to the current one.

I just explained this in probably the world's most boring way.

please wake up and carry on..

The first and most difficult step is to accept that our understanding of social cues will always leave something to be desired. Often I feel that someone does not understand what I have told them unless they have given me an obvious nod or verbal confirmation. So you have to assume that they understand what you've told them as soon as you've said it.
Keep it very, very concise.
Then, if they ask you to expound, feel free to do so! But never ramble simply because you feel that itch you just can't seem to scratch.

The next step is to learn who loves to hear you ramble, because believe me, they do exist. My girlfriend is fascinated by the things I say, and loves to listen to me exhaust my pool of knowledge until I have bled it dry. These people will allow you to calm your urges, so that you can more easily suppress them among other peers.

Lastly, although I know it is incredibly tiresome, you need to remain conscious of what you are doing. Force yourself to listen to others, and be as supportive as you can be. Make yourself take interest in their words, and help them if they ask for it.
I like to look at every relationship as a bank. So long as your deposits equalize or outweigh your withdrawals, people will be willing to accommodate you. So make yourself valuable, and force yourself to be a good friend.

Thanks for the advice, it helps. I will try that.