Verbal stims?

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Hi. I'm trying to figure out the "why" behind a specific behavior of mine.

I have a mixture of tics and stereotypies. They appeared a little more than a decade ago, when I was in my early 20s, and have gotten progressively weirder and harder to control. I don't know why this would be the case. I also don't recall having these traits when I was a kid. (Which is a major reason why I'm doubting my recent ASD diagnosis.)

Concomitant with these behaviors are racing thoughts. Very intense, repetitive, nonsensical thoughts. The content hasn't changed in all the years I've heard them. They do not generate anxiety--which is why I do not consider them "OCD". In fact, I like the sensation. It's like my mind gets to whirl around on a merry-go-round all day long. It's just a tad distracting.

And...crazy-making. Sometimes I start verbalizing the thoughts out loud. Sometimes they burst out loudly. I know I'm not controlling the thoughts, but I don't know how much control I have over the outbursts. There is no urge or warning. They just happen, no trigger necessary.

Am I stimming and just not aware that this is what I'm doing? Are stims conscious actions? I call the things I can't control easily "tics", and the things I can supress with mindfulness "stereotypies", but both of them kind of have a mind of their own. I would like to better understand what is going on so I can either live and let live or work harder at controlling myself.

This is my way of keeping an open mind about my diagnosis.

When I have intense nonsensical thoughts, that is when I needed to take more or less medicine. Finding the right dose of the right Rx helped immensely

I would say that currently I still have repetitive thoughts, or phrases that my brain gets looped into doing for some reason. For instance, recently I like the phrase "moral imperative" and like thinking it about things that obviously are not, like "taking a shower". Other times it is other word or pairs of words that I like.

I don't even notice myself doing things like humming songs or rocking onto my toes, it just happens and then I either notice or someone else notices and says something.

See below

I have nonsensical thoughts also; sometimes they leak out of my mouth, especially when I'm excited. Other times I just do it because it feels good to repeat them; like hop in da showah! Or apples n bananas. I say yay a lot too. I even have a yay song. It goes like this.

Yay!

Yay yay ya yay!

Yay yay yay yay.

Yay yay yay yaaaaay ya yaaaay!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! (sound like boo boo here)

Yay!

Yay yay ya yay!

Yay yay yay.

Yay yay yay yaaaaaaaay!

It's note quite the same in monotone, even though it's a bit flat.

I think you're talking more about perseveration (fixating on the same thoughts- thoughts like a broken record) then verbal stimming. I have both......what I consider verbal stimming is repeating rhymes/phrases to myself and talking to myself. I also have what I think of as auditory defensiveness (the way some people with ASD's have "tactile defensiveness" )where I read my books really loudly out-loud to myself hum or sing in my room to drown out the noise of others in the house. You should all be thankful you don't have to live with me,

Oh ya and I stopped recently but for about three weeks I've been walking around my house chanting "Moses supposes his toes-es are roses but Moses supposes erroneously. For Moses he knows-es his toes-es aren't roses as Moses supposes his toes-es to be". I was thinking of starting a verbal stimming thread just to post this.

I verbal stim a lot. Always have done, always will do (hopefully in private).

I talk to myself,I also repeat what other people say over and over I might have echolalia. I also mimic sounds I hear.

I talk to myself a lot. I also find myself repeating phrases to myself when under duress, like "I want to go home now!". Sadly, I also find that I say "Yeah" a lot, in a Rainmannish tone of voice that hits a little too close to home...

as a child i was driven irresistably, to squeak like a mouse.

I sometimes make high pitched humming sounds when I am excited too.

I verbalize many malapropisms, extended metaphors and non sequiturs through the day. The more poetic ones I jot down and end up in my poetry or music reviews. Most of the people where I work have learned to disregard any speech of mine unless it is directly about work. Of course, disclosure made that possible.

I have many stims, tics, and compulsive movements. My stims include vocal stims, as well.

For me, stims are involuntary and I don't realize I'm doing them until well after I've started (usually right as I finish - I don't know if I stop because I notice it or if I notice it because I stop).

I do them all in public, as well, without realizing it, regardless of how much and how hard I've tried to reduce or do away with visible stims over the years (I was diagnosed at a young age, so I've been trying for most of my life). I'm fine with doing them now - the only reason stims are a problem are the reaction they can cause in people. In a university setting people seemed to ask about it less - same for adults in general. As a kid it was very problematic, as I'm sure everyone with visible stims knows.

My physical stims I do in public, as well. I work with my boyfriend and he taps me to remind me that I'm stimming, so I can stop.