Fate of the misfit

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I began to understand why my life had been utter failure when there was (there is) not much more to expect of it. It was liberating and upsetting at the same time. Liberating because I felt nearly all of a sudden that I didn’t have anymore to wear clothes awfully unconfortable and unfit to me. Upsetting because I didn’ find, I haven’t found and probably I will not find in the years ahead new confortable clothes which will equip me to spend the “remains of the day” as I would like. With this I don’t mean a compensation for what I have missed. What I have missed, a plenitude of relationships, a life lived in some sort of decent community with people, this was unattainable for me, in the same way that a limbless human will not, will never exercise the profession of an acrobat or funambolist. A deaf-mute will never practice instant translation in a summit of statesmen (well: who knows?). But there is still (and perhaps it is THE thing) the craving for a truth where to find peace: no more fruitless striving, futile efforts, misplaced attempts. Even using language sometimes appears to me surrendering to a deceptive enticement. And I prefer to use a chosen foreign language than my mother language. A language that has too much to do with with my “mother” community, which has never been my community, has never belonged to me as I have never belonged to it (her?). The breach has been radical, cannot be other than radical. Late as it is, the only reconciliation that would be possible would be not me changing myself to be part of the community, but the community changing to be acceptable and even loved by me. Of course this would be another futile pretense even if it’s at the roots of all people having wanted to found utopias, to change things…misfits trying, and in part succeeding to create a world upside down.
But whatever time is left there should be truth, no more pretence.
I know all this is very hazy but I cannot go further than this now.

Last edited by paolo on 22 Nov 2006, 1:09 am, edited 4 times in total.

It makes perfect sense because you're talking to the right people I too came to that realization. In fact, I almost gave up entirely on life once I realized that I would never find a place where I was wanted so long as I left my apartment (it's strange to have the best possible scenario in your mind hoping people just ignore you). But, then I read the Bible and was surprised to learn that things haven't changed in thousands of years and that there is hope. Now, like yourself, I have found that I can enjoy my uniqueness and the things I will be able to experience that most others can't. Also, it is merciful and gives me hope to know that, unless they invent some crazy drug that makes us immortal, I may eventually go to Heaven if I have enough patience and faith. There are no demons in heaven pulling the strings and feeding off our misery. I don't dare tell that to an NT, though, because they would never understand (and be obligated to make it worse).

Truth is as valuable as salt. When you have none, or have very little, you crave it and finding it enriches the taste of life.

When you have nothing but salt, or nothing but truth, you don't have much at all.

I should have entiltled “Scream” (a Munch quotation). When you live all your life as a stranger, as a beggar, and all you have said is “See! I should belong to you, but the way you are is wrong if not repelling. You, the family, are wrong, you the school are wrong, you the community are wrong, you the enterprise where I have my undeserved job are wrong”, and you (I) are never “in”, because when something is wrong with you in a radical way, but also all is wrong with the Other in a radical-corrupt way, which is different (I don’t say worse) than the way I am wrong, you start analazyng the Other with lucidity, but don’t admit that in the end you (I) would like to be like Other, you acquire all the clearmindedness that divides you from the Other and you put youself at increasing distance from the Other, it’s a self feeeding chasm. I’ll try later to clarify what now seems a delirous rant, but isn’t that. I am clear minded within myself but it’s not so easy, it has never been easy. Once I used to talk compromise, but didn’t help much.
What is the corrupt wrongness? As an example of what I mean, I might indicate the soldier, the policeman, the CEO of Airbus, the House representative: they (nearly all) have families they sometimes love, they may have some friends (do they?); they do dirty work but most of them keep the things separate with a certain nonchalance or obtusity: they are Eichmann, some times, the banality of corruptness, rather than evil.

Some of us will miss Robert Altman, I will miss him.

Last edited by paolo on 21 Nov 2006, 4:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The status quo always has and always will abhor the betterment of mankind for betterment is change and change is its antithesis.

When an eye for an eye has struck the world blind the seeing will be considered diseased.

"In this world, there is no sanity or insanity. Here lie only the thousand faces of madness." exerpt from "Gunnm" by Yukito Kishiro

"You aren't going crazy. You're going sane in a crazy world." from "The Tick" tv series.

"In a mad world, only the mad are sane." Akira Kurosawa

some of my favorites....

I didnt use quotes because I made up those on the fly

I don't get it -- are you saying that, if you have all truth (salt), that you have nothing? So, then, we only have something if we have untruth (pepper?) as well?

I think thats basically it.. that lies are needed to balance the truth.

But I disagree.

Its a variation on the old "good cannot exist without evil" thing but I dont think it really applies.

The existance of truth is objective and immutable regardless of whether or not you have a point of reference.

I don't believe in the idea of good and evil. In fact, I would imply that the idea of good and evil itself falls into the classic dictionary definitation of "evil." Humans are flawed creatures. Our perception is not absolute, infact, it is very limited. We all have different ideas of good and evil. Good and Evil is only defined by the individual's perception or point of view. You could say: "What about the perception of God," if you are looking for a clear cut "one answer" good and evil.

If there is a person that implies that they know as well as God does.... That is the person that is truly crazy. Belief in their own "Godhood," isn't that textbook insanity? lol Man can't read God's mind... Someone may say God can speak to them, but I'm not believing them absolutely unless they come down a mountain with the words emblazioned on stone tablets. Ah well, I shouldn't argue theology... I am not trying to go that direction.

Actually the classic "good cannot exist without evil" concept is based on the idea that the two are entirely subjective and based solely upon artificially created law and morals. They cannot exist without our perception of them and they in turn define each other.

If there is no concept of evil there can be no concept of good as its diametric opposition.

The concept of truth however can exist without a concept of lieing.

Just as reality still exists in an objective form regardless of how we actually perceive it.

But if you want to get technical and wax philosophical a little you can say we cant objectively prove the existance of an objective reality so objective reality is just a theory and therefore so is objective truth.

In short though there is no objective morality so good and evil are entirely subjective and only gain form and definition by comparison to each other.

Nah, nothing like that.

Just that from what I've experienced in my life, truth has no value. You can't eat it or have sex with it. Most people seem to do better without it. They're all doing better than me.

Chuang Tzu said: Your life is limited, but knowledge has no limits. If you use what is limited to pursue something unlimited, you are in trouble. If you realize this, and still pursue knowledge, you are in very serious trouble.

They may be better off in the material plane but their incessant decietfulness and selfishness will always come back to haunt them either through karmic events or simple conciencious self-punishment.

I beleive truth does have an intrinsic value in the form of self-respect and a clear concience neither of which can be purchased or aquired through the manipulation of others.

Truth in the form of knowledge and wisdom can help others to lift themselves up and change their lives, while this may not be as important as food, or shelter, it may give some purpose.

For many who live to think, discovering truths amongst the mess is a beautiful thing.

Food and shelter is needed yes, but every animal needs the same.

To be inspired, to feel awe, to be overwhelmed by the mysteries of reality, to turn your weakness into your strength, these are wonderful things.

Wow, interesting discussion!

I subscribe to C.S. Lewis's assertion in his book "Mere Christianity" that there is, in fact, good and evil and we know what is what at the core of our being. It's a great book and really sets up an excellent proof of this through detail that everyone on this board would appreciate. I won't even try to paraphrase it -- I'm not smart enough.

That's not how I read it at all.
What sort of life would you be living if your every meal was a salt lick? Could you truly call that a life at all?

Additionally, I think CanyonWind is probably speaking of truth in a transcendent sense; in other words, the opposite of this sort of truth would not be lies (as this sort of truth is outside the realm of social order) but would be non-truth i.e. existential background noise. Humanity makes an additional form of "truth" that essentially allows the majority to get along with this noise in the form of art, language and an engrained social order. Depending on the person these two can be seen as a dichotomy or differing methods of inquiry, or as mutually elaborating on the human condition. My personal view is that the former can be in some cases quicker than the latter, but that it's not impossible to end up on the same page. However if one is limited to one manner of inquiry...