Tell me why it doesn't suck to have AS.....

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...and I could probably refute you. At least why it doesn't suck if someone doesn't have savant skills.

I can't believe everyone thinks AS is some wonderful thing, identify as having it sometimes even if they really don't. It sucks to not be able to get along socially, to have problems communicating and being understood at work, or even keeping a job in some cases. The way workplaces are striving towards having only "people people" and anyone who isn't good socially isn't even considered. I can't see what's so great about having AS, especially for someone like me who has no supposedly "good" AS traits anyway.

And what is a good AS trait? Most of what are listed as being good AS traits (perseverance, high intelligence, loyalty, ability to think outside the box, etc.) are things that some NT's also have, but they also have at least a minimum of social understanding and ability to fit in, make friends, have relationships, etc., without having to have someone who is "understanding" or "patient" or "trying to draw them out" or whatever.

Even people on forums for parents of AS kids admit this. I remember one prominent parent who wrote a book, even, writing on her forum about her highly intelligent Aspie son, that his high intelligence didn't come from AS, it was a trait that some NT's in the family also had.

Even when someone was trying to mention good AS traits for employers, they don't apply to all Aspies. Not all Aspies are punctual...apparently some have a problem with time because of executive functioning problems, and have problems being on time. Not all Aspies want to work until all hours...some Aspies actually have problems working a full day because of sensory overload or other problems. And anyway, all this is proving is that Aspies are workhorses, which probably translates to a kind of slave to some unethical employers. Like "Oh, hire an Aspie, they don't have much of a social life so will want to work all hours, they don't have that many wants because they don't have to keep up with the Joneses, so we don't have to pay them as much, plus they're probably so grateful to get a job they will take any s**t we decide to hand out without saying anything. And we can act like b*****s and bastards to them if we're in a bad mood, because they'll take it, whereas the NT's will fight back and probably quit and maybe sue our sorry asses. And the other employees will never stick up for them because they have no friends, and wouldn't believe them anyway if they mention they're being treated like s**t. So let's have at least one Aspie on the staff to do all the s**t jobs no one else wants to."

I'm not saying Aspies will do this, or that most employers will have this attitude, I'm just saying that's probably what unethical. employers will think if we start telling them Aspies are super good workers, super loyal employees, etc.

Plus, like I said, it probably isn't even true, and then it'll backfire on those Aspies who don't have those traits. It would make it even worse, because sometimes NT's who aren't super punctual, working every minute get away with it because the boss likes them, when probably that won't happen with many Aspies who have NT bosses.

Anyway, I fail to find any one thing that is good in general about being an Aspie, which is why I'm so negative and fear getting diagnosed with AS, whether by a professional or someone who says "Oh, I think you might have AS". I just don't see any good side to it at all, any AS trait that NT's can't also have. There are NT's who go against the crowd to stick up for the underdog. Plus they have a better ability to do this because they have the social skills. There are super-intelligent NT's who are able to accomplish a lot in science and other fields, though no doubt there are a disproportionate amount of Aspies in these fields too. but **not all Aspies have these superior traits/skills****! !! !

I don't think there's a negative side to AS. You should try to accept yourself for who you are. Besides, socializing is a waste of time in my opinion.

So what's the positive side to having AS? I've mentioned why I have a negative side to it...because I can't socialize and have to have it constantly rubbed in my face that other people are able to socialize and I'm not, and that my co-workers and people I have to be around don't really like me. And because I have to have anxiety about this all the time. And people think I'm just "socially anxious" and could get over it if I tried. So that's my negative, side, what's your positive?

My positive is that I'm happy being alone, and I prefer objects to people.

Cool...do people leave you alone about that though, and are you able to have a job or get money to live on (I'm not sure how old you are?)

I can safely say the "negatives" I have are not because of Asperger's Syndrome but because of those who do not understand AS. (I.E. Society)

man...stop thinking so much about the negativity of AS. there are many other people in this world with problems worse than AS. such as paralysis or cancer. even an aspie with limited or no great abilities can still enjoy life to the fullest(well, first they have to try and enjoy life). they can still go outside and admire the colors of the trees, the sound of rain, or the beauty of night time sky. i don't have many abilities or talents and am still thankful for all the things i have and air(though polluted) i breathe.

i don't think that socializing is all that useless. whenever i've had a great conversation with someone, i feel enlightened and lifted up. then there's the horrible conversation...but life is ambigous, so i'll take my chances.

the positive side is that if you don't enjoy the company of people then, people will never hurt you. plus, you can look at life in a totally different way than an NT.

i agree with you NorahW. i don't really believe there are such 'great things' about having AS or any other PDD. the fact that they are considered 'disorders' should be a key insight as to why it ain't. society places great value and importance on the ability and the strength to socialize well with others. people who aren't the best communicators are automatically at a disadvantage. most people on this site who have AS or some other PDD, do not have special Savant skills. sure, its nice and comforting to highlight such examples of famous people assumed to have AS, but the reality is that the people on here are not of genius ability.

i don't wear my disorder as a badge of honor, or an excuse.
if anything this site helps me cope with my feelings of isolation, and lonliness.
it informs and enlightens me at times as well.

but i'm not some "super-human"
i'm just a person who is aware of the fact that she has some neurological deviances.

i don't blame people for thinking that they are gifted or special for having this condition, (we all find ways of making our days a little less depressing)but i also think that they need a reality check.

I'm only a kid(15) so I don't know about jobs yet! It'll probably be a problem in the future, but I think I'll get around it.

Fine, but there's way more of them than there are of us, and they're not going to go away. we have to get along the way society is now, with the majority of people being NT or more on the NT side.

People don't have to conform.

I'm not asking them to change or go away, and I doubt most others are either. Most Aspies merely wish for them to tolerate us, nothing more.

>>And what is a good AS trait? Most of what are listed as being good AS traits (perseverance, high intelligence, loyalty, ability to think outside the box, etc.) are things that some NT's also have<<

No, not some. Everybody possesses these capabilities, but it seems that those with AS value them more. You can trust Aspies, feel safe around them without fear of being judged or ridiculed. They are much more accepting than NT folk.

>>but they also have at least a minimum of social understanding and ability to fit in, make friends, have relationships, etc., without having to have someone who is "understanding" or "patient" or "trying to draw them out" or whatever.<<

I have AS and a pretty good ability to make good, real friends. Does this make me a freak? Not everyone with AS has terrible friendship skills, and of course there is always room for improvement. People give up too easily - there are classes you can take and people who can help you with social skills.

>>Even people on forums for parents of AS kids admit this. I remember one prominent parent who wrote a book, even, writing on her forum about her highly intelligent Aspie son, that his high intelligence didn't come from AS, it was a trait that some NT's in the family also had.<<

Regardless, there is a strong correlation between AS and an increase in mental faculties.

>>And we can act like b*****s and bastards to them if we're in a bad mood, because they'll take it, whereas the NT's will fight back and probably quit and maybe sue our sorry asses. And the other employees will never stick up for them because they have no friends, and wouldn't believe them anyway if they mention they're being treated like s**t. So let's have at least one Aspie on the staff to do all the s**t jobs no one else wants to."<<

You may be getting just a bit carried away here...It would seem that you have had some problems in the past. If you look at AS like it is a curse, then of course it will be - it is all in the mind. You believe you will fail then of course you will. Self-fulfilling prophesy.

>>Anyway, I fail to find any one thing that is good in general about being an Aspie, which is why I'm so negative and fear getting diagnosed with AS, whether by a professional or someone who says "Oh, I think you might have AS". I just don't see any good side to it at all, any AS trait that NT's can't also have.<<

Having someone tell you that you have AS doesn't suddenly turn you into a monster. You will still be you, just defined better. Are you happy with the way you are now? Then what should change? You are still the same.

What is good about having AS? To me, it is not about having AS, because it is just a part of me. I am not simply AS, I am a person *with* it. A unique and special individual who sees the world in their own unique way, as many others cannot. I am alive, I am well fed and sheltered, so why dwell on the negatives? Do what you can and be satisfied that that is all you can do, don't hold yourself up to some out-of-reach standard. Live.

Well...


I feel music in a way I haven't found in any non-aspie person, this is because it has been my all-consuming life obsession for 4-5 years, I don't see this as a negative thing at all.

I can understand people in a different way, I can usually determine a persons driving force or agenda, and can inspire/help/learn from or with them.

I get lonely most days, but at the same time, I get inspired most days to do something or work on something. Most people would hang around with others as soon as they felt this loneliness, and therefore can't achieve the things that I can.

My emotions are baby-like, this can be negative in relationships, it can also be very positive creative-wise.. Also my mental faculties have always been advanced for my age, though this was a problem when I was younger, now I can use it to help/connect with people in a variety of ways.

A lot of people with AS don't pre-judge others like most NTs do. I'm saying this from experience.

When you think of it, are the people with AS the "normal" ones or are the NTs the "normal" ones? What is normal is relative to the person comparing the two things. If I decide that people who like kittens are abnormal and people who like puppies are normal, I am setting a relative sense of normality. Kitten lovers can turn right around and say that they are the normal ones and they would also be setting a sense of normality relative to themselves. Now, if there are more of one group than the other, then the one with the most numbers seems to be the most normal. You can still go and turn it around and say that there are more abnormal people than normal people (I am not crazy, everyone else is).

I notice you talk about being an Aspie as almost being sub-human. Confidence goes a long way. It goes a VERY long way. If you can get some self confidence, you have just won half of the battle right there. Hell, I personaly can not spell my way out of a paper bag (and this is from someone who read the dictionary from cover to cover several times). I do not sit there and beat myself up over it. I just hold my head up high and correct my mistakes. Why? It is the only way I will get better.

You learn from mistakes. Mistakes suck and they can hurt like hell, but you learn from them. How would you know happiness if there were no pain? How would you know joy if there were no sorrow? Live and learn.

Sure, you may have a disadvantage when it comes to socialization, but that does not mean you will never be able to. Right now, you ARE socializing. It is in a less personal medium, but it is still socialization none the less. Who knows, you might overcome the the lack of social skill and become a social magnet. Social skills can be learned and body language can be studied and understood (hey, people have written tons of books on body language, so why not use those to your advantage). You can project some body language with some acting lessons. Just tone it down a bit so they do not look faked.