What is wrong with having just one friend

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Pokelover14
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08 Aug 2012, 1:34 am

I have one friend and he has been my friend for about a year now. Before that I had no friends. Until high school my mom kept oersted in me to make friends or to meet some of her friends kids. Just I have never clicked with any of them. They think I am weird. They think I am special. When I rock or flap my hands they laugh. Those aren't qualities of a friend are they. But in consoling in high school I met some one. A senior even though I am just a freshmen. I saw him and a little voice inside me said boom. So I got to know him. I sat at his table and was the happiest I have ever been in my life. For the first time I wasn't eating alone. So he and I kept going over to each others houses. In fact in the last three weeks I have seen him about 16 days out of those 21. But NOW my mom is saying I need more friends. I am really angry because she pesters me about one for so long and now I need more. Gaaaaaahhhhhh. Why do I even need this. My friend and I are perfect. I don't know why I need more. If you find a video game you love and would play with forever why do YOU NEED MORE. I just don't get it.


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08 Aug 2012, 2:02 am

Pokelover14 wrote:
Gaaaaaahhhhhh. Why do I even need this. My friend and I are perfect.

Awesome!

However, what if your friend goes away for a couple of months, or moves away etc. Having said that though, I see no reason to stress about not making friends or wanting more friends. The way I see it is if it happens great, if not fine - I have no idea how someone would go about creating a friendship on demand.


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Mishra2012
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08 Aug 2012, 2:13 am

I don't even have one friend.


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08 Aug 2012, 2:16 am

If you are happy, how could it be wrong?


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08 Aug 2012, 5:52 am

I think it's because sometimes the one friend will want to take a break or be alone, or they may feel like you're with them too much. If you have multiple friends, you'll have friends to be with so that you don't burn out one person.



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08 Aug 2012, 6:11 am

The relationship seems to have become quite rapidly rather intense, and I think as a parent that would worry me too. She's probably worried that you're getting a little too close to him or relying on him too much. I think she's understandably concerned that you're too attached, and that if you fall out or something happens to him that you'll completely fall apart. Maybe try talking to your Mum about it.



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08 Aug 2012, 6:52 am

My cousin used to criticise me at school for having 2 friends. When I said that I've fallen out with one, he used to say, ''so you've only got one friend now?''

Then I only had one friend when I was in the Sixth Form, and once I lied to her (don't know why) and she got annoyed with me for telling such pointless lies, and my mum was like, ''she's the only friend you've got and you had to tell her such stupid lies!''


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KnarlyDUDE09
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08 Aug 2012, 8:17 am

Nothing's wrong with that...besides, you could forge a deeper connection with them.


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08 Aug 2012, 9:21 am

As long as life is sweet that way, no problem. But if things go sour or you lose each other, it's probably harder to cope with if you don't have anybody else. My own experience is that it becomes more difficult to resolve arguments because people aren't there to help to arbitrate, so it's just I see it one way, she sees it another, and nobody is adding anything new to the process, so it stalls.

I also think it can keep people from getting paranoid about jealousy, losing the person, etc., if they know they have a circle of friends who will look after them emotionally if worst comes to worst. With nobody else in your life, you'll be completely alone if you lose them. That can come to feel like a very vulnerable position (which it is) if you start to find out things about your only friend that you didn't bargain for and don't like. Anxiety can be quite harmful to human relations.

I think there are different degrees of this too. Some people feel that their relationship is way more important than anybody else in their life, but they still have friends, only with a lot more distance. I think it's nice to have a same-sex buddy while in a relationship (it's safer and simpler than having opposite-sex buddies), but my partner's wishes would normally come first if there was a conflict. I think there's a difference between not happening to have other close friends (but being open to the idea, within llimits), and actively wanting to keep away from them. Even the OP has friends in some sense of the word, when she posts here.



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08 Aug 2012, 12:24 pm

The problem with only having one friend is that you only have one person to turn to or rely on in ways relating to friendship. Having two friends is far better than one, because then if you want to spend time with a person and one of them can't you can spend time with the other one, and vice versa. Same with if you need to talk about things instead of do them.



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08 Aug 2012, 4:07 pm

Tuttle wrote:
The problem with only having one friend is that you only have one person to turn to or rely on in ways relating to friendship. Having two friends is far better than one, because then if you want to spend time with a person and one of them can't you can spend time with the other one, and vice versa. Same with if you need to talk about things instead of do them.


That's true, i'm beginning to find that and realised recently when my friend started avoiding me and after a lot of confusion, eventually said it was because she felt like I wanted "100%" of her when I spent time with her but she has a family and other friends who she needs to spend time with too. I was really hurt at first that she hadn't said and felt like she didn't want to be friends with me, but now i'm trying to make other friends as well. the problem is that whenever I do, i end up trying to talk to them all the time and the same problem starts again. I find it really hard to focus on more than one friend at a time.



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08 Aug 2012, 4:21 pm

Tuttle wrote:
The problem with only having one friend is that you only have one person to turn to or rely on in ways relating to friendship. Having two friends is far better than one, because then if you want to spend time with a person and one of them can't you can spend time with the other one, and vice versa. Same with if you need to talk about things instead of do them.



This.

But there is nothing wrong with one friend really but parents always want what's best for their kids.


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celebrei
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08 Aug 2012, 4:34 pm

The many but false and the few but true, I would not hesitate to choose the latter.



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08 Aug 2012, 4:41 pm

celebrei wrote:
The many but false and the few but true, I would not hesitate to choose the latter.
I completely agree with you...I probably couldn't have said it any better. :)


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Ann2011
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08 Aug 2012, 5:05 pm

Sometimes there are too few of these experiences in a lifetime. Enjoy your friendship. I had a good friend like this in my 3rd year of high school. I still remember those times fondly.

If someone comes along who you would also like to hang around with that should be okay too. (Unless you're dating, which would be a whole other kettle of fish.)

I think the more friends the better, but you can't force someone to be your friend, you just have to enjoy it when it does happen.



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08 Aug 2012, 8:13 pm

In case something happens to the first friend so then you'd have a spare?? My mom actually said to me that I needed more than one friend because if she and my friend both died then I'd have no one. I'm only 27 and my mom and friend are both in good health so I wouldn't have to worry about this for a long time....but my mom's a bit of a worrier. :lol:

I prefer to have one friend because I feel so much more comfortable interacting with just one person at a time. ( I recently made a new friend so right now I have two but hardly ever see either of them). Also I usually just end up with one friend....I meet the friend's friends sometimes but never really get close to them......don't get incorporated into the "group of friends".