Extra-Autistic?

Post Reply New Topic

Do any of you ever have those days (or weeks, months, whatever) where you just feel a little extra-autistic? Like your symptoms seem to affect you more strongly or they seem more amplified, if you will, and that tends to mess-up your entire day (at least when you're around people)? And this causes you to do horribly in your job or at school. You still put on your game face as you step out of your room, but for some reason you seem to avoid contact a little more, you can't respond as fast, you avoid even the people you're used to, you seem more irritable (everything seems too loud, too hot/cold, too strong-smelling, too bright), and you would like nothing more than to be left alone in your room in silence, possibly forever (or at least that's what you seem to want at that very moment). Like a relapse, or an 'Autistic episode', if such things exist. Thoughts?

I haven't stepped out of the house in about three weeks, and the one time I went out was somewhere quiet on a family occasion. I've also been on my super-avoidant nocturnal sleep schedule for the whole of this year. In short, I guess I always feel "extra autistic."

Like must things some have it on the easier side and others on the harder.

I have it like that all the time. The amount of effort some people put into their job for 1 week, thats the work it takes for me to go and shop for food on a good day.

Yeah i dont really get out much, its reverse prison. here go out all you want, go out and enjoy hell lol,

Yes.
I'm not sure if I have autism or not, but I have many symptoms. Many appear to "come and go".

Some days I feel very connected with people and very normal. Some days I do not. However, I might be overestimating how well I am doing sometimes. It's one of those detail-oriented things. One day I am able to successfully vocally respond and make eye contact with a woman working in a clothing store. And then afterwards I think "Wow, I replied to this person with more than a nod and a single word. I even responded before the other two people I was with. Maybe I'm not autistic after all!" Though looking back, I wonder if the other two people didn't respond because the woman wasn't looking at them... I don't know that I was really paying attention. I was just confused why no one else was answering her... *sigh* But anyway.

Also, there are days when I know I am extra, extra irritable and sensitive. I can't put on certain clothing I've worn before because I just can't handle it. I feel extra uncertain and insecure about how other people respond to me. Noises seem louder. I can't seem to talk to anyone. My words jumble...
I'm female, so at certain times of the month it gets worse for me. I know the average girl gets more irritable, so I think this makes sense. But then it also happens seemingly randomly or after I've not had enough sleep.

<removed by the author>

Definitely. I spent the previous 2 years really underground, recovering from an insane intense relationship. Waking up at 7pm, sleeping 12 hours, talking to no one. The winters were really grim. Took some effort to get more sunshine and more social contact. The sunshine has worked out pretty well but I'm still unsure about the social contact part. Too much crazy NT misdirection and I will shut down (again). It's a real balance.

Yes, especially when I'm stressed about something.

Yea especially if i am stressed or sick, like today =_=. I am really sick again and been very surly and picky about everything. The lights feel like they hurt extra, my threshold for tolerance is pretty shot in general. And I have been stimming more and being more repetitive and had at least two meltdowns yesterday.

It is like that for me, too. Usually when something in the morning breaks my routine (eg colleagues who use the electric kettle when I arrive so that I have to turn on my computer BEFORE heating the water for my tea ) Then, the whole day is lost and I am likely to hide behind closed office doors being angry at the world and myself.

My AS traits show more when I'm stressed. It turns into a vicious cycle. The more stressed I get, the more obvious my traits are. The more obvious the traits are, the more people get on my case and make me feel more stressed.

Frustrating, right? It's like having to live your life on Hard Mode (if you play video games).

Very frustrating, its hard to get ahead in life when the basic stuff such a going outside a freaking door, is hard.

Not much that can be done, luckily not all suffers that extremely.

If i was rich i would buy 10 if not 20 plots of land demolish all houses and plant forrest and be quite happy. Its tobad there really isnt any forrests left. I think i could live a lot more calmly in nature

Every time I step outside or have to be around people I am extra-autistic. It's just like being punched in the face. Everything seems to be going fine and then it just hits you. So I take my pills and can at least process sensory information like an average person and talk to them a bit better as well.

When I'm tired, ill or depressed I find it impossible to hide my AS, tend to (like now) have to lock myself in a darkened room and avoid people.

There definitely are times when my AS is more obvious (increased stimming in terms of intensity and frequency and increase in general odd behavior), but half of the time there is no rhyme or reason for it (at least that I can detect).