Are you hypersensitive to slights or rejection?

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lady_katie
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17 Aug 2012, 7:29 am

Yes, absolutely. To make matters worse, I misinterpret people's actions to *think* that they are rejecting or mistreating me, when it's frequently not the case. Even when I *know* that it's not the case, I still feel rejection, and all the negative emotions that come along with it, and have a hard time associating with that person again (even being fully aware that they did not do anything wrong).



CockneyRebel
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17 Aug 2012, 7:53 am

I do on certain issues like Autism Rights and similar issues. Those feelings used to be very strong. I also feel insulted when I feel that people are brushing my intelligence off bt stating the obvious.


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nrau
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17 Aug 2012, 8:46 am

I know what you're talking about. I also used to have this problem,. Not only in RL but on the internet, too.



ghoti
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17 Aug 2012, 9:32 am

Heck yes! And constant rejections make things unbearable.



ToughDiamond
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17 Aug 2012, 9:40 am

Yes I think I must be. For as long as I can easily remember I've automatically avoided most situations where I can't dodge the bullets of rejection and slights. Slights aren't all that bad mostly, because I seems fairly confident in my belief that people who deliberately insult me have lost the plot. I avoid a lot of risk of rejection by not being very invitational and not pushing myself onto people unless invited, and if I do take a risk, I tell myself very firmly that it's only a throwaway thing I'm doing, that you win a few and lose a few.

I'm a lot better than I used to be with rejection. I can't remember where the aversion to it came from.....I figured I was just normal because people can be very funny about being rejected. Note how a guy will normally not just go and ask a woman to start a relationship with him, he will ask her to dinner, and if she doesn't fancy him she will say "some other time." All designed to spare the guy's blushes.....that sounds pretty sensitive to me.

But I do think I've got a thing about rejection. Quite likely I'm stronger than I think I am, and the protective habits are no longer as appropriate. Sometimes I act out of character too......there was one significant risk I took a year or two ago, which I was fully aware of, and for some reason I decided that I didn't care about the consequenses. Seems to have been down to a burst of empathy I experienced at the time.



MirrorWars
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17 Aug 2012, 9:44 am

When I feel as though somebody has slighted me in some way; sometimes, in my mind, I make the person in question my-instant-enemy.

I think to myself "I'll return this, in some way", and I do. Usually by taking on a very arrogant persona when I am dealing wth that person in the future.

I can't help it.



Nonperson
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17 Aug 2012, 10:08 am

Maybe a bit, because I've come to expect them and so I'm always half looking for them. I think NTs are sensitive to them too, though.



Colinn
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17 Aug 2012, 10:12 am

Rejection used to frustrate me when I was younger as I didn't understand why I was different from everyone else, and didn't want to be. Nowadays it doesn't bother me as I usually expect not to be liked during real life interaction. Don't expect anything and you will never be disappointed.



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17 Aug 2012, 3:33 pm

One of the hardest, for me, is when someone misinterprets or misunderstands me; they don't 'get' me. I find this tremendously distressing and if it's someone who matters, one who is influential/important, then it's a crushing blow for me. In fact, it's practically impossible for me to deal with :cry:

I really wish I didn't take it so hard. (The worst part is that I am hard to understand). Many meltdowns over this one :cry:


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Swordfish210
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17 Aug 2012, 3:50 pm

I think that for me this is the worst part of my AS as I think I am pretty social for an aspie. I really have difficulties with it and I can still remember social mistakes that happened when I was a kid which still cause me anxiety. The pain diminishes over time, but some mistakes I made or things that have gone bad physically hurt to remember relatively short after they happened. I really wish I could change my reaction.

It probably does not help that I am unable to distinguish between annoyed, angry and just shouting if done by another person. :S


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Ai_Ling
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17 Aug 2012, 5:05 pm

Oh definetley. I've been hypersensative for a long time. Its very hard cause I started to reverse myself into, if people are rejected me its my fault. Its really hard to know cause I struggle to outwardly communicate and spontaneously interact. I feel when the interaction actually happens, most of the time I dont do anything wrong. Its just a weird timing and speaking thing. Its really a struggle to even say something or consistently talk.



Joe90
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18 Aug 2012, 7:33 am

I do fear rejection, which is why I'm afraid to add any of my old schoolfriends on Facebook (who I haven't seen since we left). They didn't like me much at school anyway, but now that they're grown-up they should be a little more mature, but I still don't really trust people. They'll probably just think, ''oh, why does that little weirdo want to add me for?!'', instead of thinking, ''how thoughtful of her to add me. I will accept her and see what she does now. She might be different to what she was at school. Well, come to think of it, she wasn't all that bad at school really, we were just all silly kids back then and just saw her as the class freak. I feel so bad now.''

But I feel more afraid of people who point out my social quirks, but wouldn't do it to anyone else. I've always been told ''I wasn't speaking to you!'' when joining in a conversation, but other people can be literally rude and butt in when I'm trying to talk to someone, and nobody says anything, they just gaze at them and grin. It's not fair. Like once when I asked my cousin something, and her friend (who wasn't even standing with us) just turned round and yelled so loud in my face, which was the right time for me to say, ''I wasn't asking YOU!'' Also she was being EXTREMELY rude, and I have never been anywhere near rude like that before, and I haven't even butted in like that. I just join in a small talk type of conversation, to something that applies to me anyway, without trying to take over the conversation or interrupting someone in mid-sentence. By observing NT behaviour quite well, what I do is socially acceptable anyway, but people still think it's OK to be rude to me and then accuse me of being rude when I clearly wasn't, I was only trying to be friendly.

That does upset me, and I do become sensitive about it.


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18 Aug 2012, 12:16 pm

Rejection is tough. It's like people are telling me I don't have the right to exist - - that is until they need something from me. It makes me feel worse than poop. I expect it from my kids but not from other adults. There's this whole set of complicated rules that everyone else lives by but no one ever let me in on the secret.

I'm empathetic, maybe developed from decades of observation, or maybe I was just born this way. I often sense or observe attitudes people evidently think they're masking. Then they get embarrassed/mad at me for knowing and accuse me of all kinds of weird stuff. (Now, I know I'm not just making this up in my head because a few people have come to me later and apologized for their reaction to my correct assumptions.) I don't even have to say anything or indicate I know, people just get weird with me, especially when they're trying to pass off a lie they know I'm going to expose. I used to be much more outgoing but anymore, I keep most of my thoughts and ideas to myself, especially the "dangerous" ones, but then again, I have this awful need to call people out when they're screwing around with others - especially taxpayers.

Being older gives me an edge. At 52, I've been through about half of everything already and I know much from first hand experience, but no matter what, rejection always hurts. It always matters. I can't make it not matter. Rather than blow things/people off, I find myself analyzing them into oblivion. Its much more satisfying.


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18 Aug 2012, 9:28 pm

yes, i am very sensitive of being rejected or slighted too. :/



lambey
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18 Aug 2012, 9:31 pm

Rejection from girls - yeah thats tough. I've never been able to ask a girl out as a result of the fear of being rejected.

Rejection from friends - meh. yeah its annoying. today for example, one of my friends had a group of people we know round to his house, but didn't invite me. I felt bad, but got on with my day.

rejection in general is just a b***h, and i'd be lying if i said i wasn't sensitive to it.



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18 Aug 2012, 9:52 pm

lady_katie wrote:
Yes, absolutely. To make matters worse, I misinterpret people's actions to *think* that they are rejecting or mistreating me, when it's frequently not the case. Even when I *know* that it's not the case, I still feel rejection, and all the negative emotions that come along with it, and have a hard time associating with that person again (even being fully aware that they did not do anything wrong).


^^^This^^^


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