Sudden changes and how they make me feel.

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Today I was supposed to meet a friend and go check out my new place that I'm moving to soon. It's a room in a dorm at university and I don't dare going there by myself the first time. My friend just texted me and said he's caught a bad cold so he can't meet up today. I'm not angry at him at all because I know it's not his fault he's caught a cold but this sudden change in my plans makes it feel like the whole day's ruined. Like the day and all my plans are collapsing. It makes me feel all MEH/BLEAARGH (since I've got a hard time identifying my emotions I'm not sure what emotions I'm feeling right now, so that was me trying to explain what I'm feeling) and like I don't want to do anything anymore (today that is). At least I'm not feeling angry because of the sudden change (that happens sometimes too).

Is this "normal"? Why does it happen? Does that happen to you too? I'm trying to understand.

Is it "normal"? No idea.
Does it happen to me? Yes.
Why does it happen? I think in the circumstance you describe I would have used a lot of energy to plan for and psych myself up to going to the view place. When the plans change at the last minute I don't have the ability to suddenly redirect that energy. I am also rubbish at identifying my emotions but I reckon MEH/BLEAARGH sums it up neatly.

That sounds like practically a daily event for me.

One minor change in another person's plans can make me feel like I can't find anything to do with the rest of the day. I like certain things to be predictable so that I don't have to think about them. When a person changes things on me, I feel like someone has spun me around and I can't figure out what direction I am facing. I have to reorient myself with respect to the time left in the day.

When I make plans to do something with a person, perhaps I invest more emotional energy into those plans than an NT would. When those plans change, I need to expend more emotional energy into developing new plans for the day and to dealing with the disappointment of not being able to see a friend.

I like a certain degree of predictability in my life and a fair amount of control over what I do. When other people change things around on me, I feel the loss of control and I am bothered that I am suddenly at a loss for what I am to do with my time. It's odd, because I often like doing spontaneous things on my own, but I don't like others being spontaneous.

I feel the same when this happens. If someone were to change a meeting point, I could deal with that, but less so if I didn't know the place because I would have already checked it out first on google maps, thought of a place to park my bike, made a note of where the nearest shops and toilets were.

For me it's not as simple as "can we meet here instead?" it's "can we meet here instead so can you panic about it for a bit, get back on google maps and plan your route, weigh up why the original place was a better meeting point, try to plan how much extra time you'll need to get some food and go to the toilet first, worry about if your mobile internet doesn't work so you can't look at a map when you get out of the station and try to forget the original plan you had and remember the new one." And that's a tiny change in plans. Bigger ones send me crazy.

Sometimes the smallest changes which affect my plans have the most upsetting impact.

Yep, me too.
I like to have everything organised in my mind, how things will go, wether its people coming for a BBQ or work. If any part of a situation changes I become anxious.
Also if my imediate manager springs a suprise on me like a computer course or new software I wasn't warned about, I have trouble functioning for the day.
I feel like those fainting goats sometimes, not cool.
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I really hate it when I already have my day planned out. its not so bad when I dont have something planned but when I plan something I do it days in advance. its the last second changes that really get me.

Scared uncomfortable and insecure!!Like being a fish taken out of a luke warm fish tank and put in a freezing cold fish tank with a bunch of other fish I am unfamiliar with.

It's fairly normal for aspies. Don't feel bad for feeling that way, but some cognitive behavior therapy might be beneficial to you for handling these sorts of things.

I know I have to have an adjustment period, usually about half an hour, if my plans have to change. If plans change more suddenly than that, I'm super stressed and a bit of a wreck. Same if I suffer a disappointment.

Honestly, I should take some of my own advice.

My dad just called and changed a massive plan of mine. I think I had a meltdown or something. I hung up the phone, paced, threw myself on the floor and rolled around, accidentally punched myself in the nose, screamed and then hit my head repeatedly. I hate change. Still almost crying and almost hyperventilating.

I have to admit i am not very good with sudden changes at all in fact it pretty much ruins my day if there is a sudden change to a routine.

My friends are very "spurr of the moment". So part of my routine is to expect our plans to change. It does not bother as bad, but I do have a bad habit of reiterating plans and asking while we are in the car or getting dressed where we are going and what we are doing. It bugs them, and I try not to do it.

What annoyes me, royally, is when the furniture gets rearanged which my best friend/roomate looves to do. We cannot go a moth without her saying she figured out a way to optimize our living space and re-aranging everything. I feel like I am totally lost and it freaks me out and I really hate it, so in order to cope I become super involved in the process. I try to do all the furniture moving myself, ask repeatedly where things will be moved to or are moved to, walk the house during and after . . . etc. It feels like its the only way to be stable during the process.