What would you have done in this situation?

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whirlingmind
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13 Sep 2012, 10:41 am

vortex wrote:
I recently moved in to a "dorm". I'm not the only one who's new and in order to get to know everyone the older residents have decided to have a "room crawl" here on Saturday. It's a corridor party where everyone's supposed to go into all the rooms in the corridor (there are 12 rooms in my corridor) and drink one drink in each room. The people living in each room are supposed to provide drinks for the others. So when arriving at my room, I'm supposed to provide drinks for 12 people. They want everyone to participate and they want everyone to drink all the drinks (or at least try them). There's no way I can drink 12 drinks without passing out. I don't think I've ever had 12 drinks in one night. I drink sometimes (quite rarely) but I usually don't drink much since being drunk makes me throw up, pass out and feel like crap. I don't like being drunk.

I don't want to participate. On one hand I feel like I should participate but on the other hand I really don't want to. It's really not my thing. Parties, excessive drinking, loud music, people etc. I quite hate it actually. I don't think my brain can handle it. The other day I had a shutdown in class just because there were too many people. It wasn't even that noisy. Can't imagine how I'll feel on Saturday night. I have such a hard time saying no to people. Especially when I know it might lead to other people trash talking me etc. I don't really know what to do. I wish they'd leave me alone.

What would you have done in this situation?


God I wouldn't be able to handle that at all. I suggest booking into a hotel/motel for the night or staying at a friends/relative's house and leaving a note on your door saying "sorry - off sick", maybe leave 3 bottles of wine with a trusted other person to give out on your behalf. You could append the 'sick note' with "3 x bottles of wine left with Joe - enjoy!" or whatever.

That way you've been nice enough to acknowledge what they want to do but escaped for your own reasons. That should ensure no-one targets you with negativity afterwards.

There is no way to escape the mob rule in these circumstances and you will not get any sleep, you may end up with drunkards sprawling on your bed/possessions etc. and you will end up being miserable.


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whirlingmind
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13 Sep 2012, 10:46 am

...and drunken mob rule is even worse than sober mob rule, so I would avoid being there and having soft drinks because people lose inhibitions when they are drunk and egg each other on, and may spike your drinks (with either alcohol or drugs) to "make you loosen up".


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helles
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13 Sep 2012, 10:53 am

Ohh, I would go along. If I was younger I would probably drink myself silly. Being older I would be Wise enough to just sip a little of the drinks and then pour the rest (or just leave it when you leave the room, after a few rooms nobody will notice. As somebody suggested, it will be easy to leave early as everybody probably will be massibely drunk quite fast.

I lived in a dorm for a time, when studying. The weird guy at the end did not want to participate - not well recieved (hey, and I do have aspergers). I

Will work wonders for your social life.

gotta run


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vortex
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15 Sep 2012, 3:02 am

Thanks for the replies, everyone!

The "room crawl" is tonight and I'm getting really anxious. I really don't want to participate but I've decided to participate a little bit. There's no way I'll drink that much though. I'll probably drink a little bit, but far from the amount of alcohol the others will consume. I don't like drinking that much. Especially not when I need to get up and study the morning after. On the note with information about the "room crawl" someone has written "unfinished drinks will not be tolerated". They're not serious, right? They can't make me drink, right?

I'm a bit anxious they won't "allow" me to withdraw after a while. I mean, they're not bad people or anything, they're just very social and very outgoing (which I'm not) and they want everyone to have a good time. I guess they don't understand my definition of a "good time" is completely different to theirs.



KnarlyDUDE09
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15 Sep 2012, 3:09 am

CrystalStars wrote:
I would've told them to sod off, but I'm a horrible person.
No, that sounds like a great idea! :)


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helles
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15 Sep 2012, 3:22 am

vortex wrote:
On the note with information about the "room crawl" someone has written "unfinished drinks will not be tolerated". They're not serious, right? They can't make me drink, right?

I'm a bit anxious they won't "allow" me to withdraw after a while. I mean, they're not bad people or anything, they're just very social and very outgoing (which I'm not) and they want everyone to have a good time. I guess they don't understand my definition of a "good time" is completely different to theirs.


The note about "unfinished drinks will not be tolerated" is just something that has been written, don´t take it seriously. When people are drunk, they generally like everybody else to be equally drunk, especially when in a group (I do hate group pressure!). Just sip the drink, you hardly have to drink from it. Try to get rid of it discreetly (in the sink), you can "accidently" nock over one of your drinks (just once othervise it will be obvious), maybe you can claim that there is one of the drinks that you do not like. Besides there is no harm in saying that you do not have the kapacity to hold a lot of alcohol, studying tomorrow is also a good excuse for moderate drinking (unless dorm drinking culture is vastly different in the US). The western culture is often about drinking when socializing, and I realise it can be difficult if you do not drink much.

When leaving, depending on the culture in your dorm, try not to make it obvious, or if somebody else is leaving, do it at the same time. If you tell everybody that you are leaving, they will probably try to make you stay. - Go to the toilet, or "sneak" out the backdoor and take a walk outside, they may come and ask what you are doing (can also be a sign of consideration if they think that you have drunk too much).

J


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hanyo
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15 Sep 2012, 6:50 am

To me that sounds like a dangerous situation. For some people 12 drinks can be a lot, enough to lead to vomiting, passing out, and even alcohol poisoning. I'd run like hell and stay far away from anyone pressuring me to poison my body with loads of alcohol. I usually didn't even drink 12 drinks in one night when I drank a lot and I still got way too drunk.

I wouldn't participate in this and these people seem like a bad influence. It's fine for people that enjoy it and can handle it but some people aren't as social and don't like to drink much or at all.



vortex
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15 Sep 2012, 5:12 pm

So, like I said before I decided to participate a bit. I did. Had a few drinks but I "cheated" and didn't finish all of them. Finished a few. Enough for my anxiety to go away and me becoming more talkative (though still a bit socially awkward). The party is still going on (it's about 12.10am here) but I'm in my room. Alone. Which feels good. Even though being by myself feels good I'm now feeling depressed. I'm sobering up and I can feel my anxiety coming back. It's not a good feeling.

What do you do when your anxiety's coming back? Any advice on how to not get completely depressed because of it?



whirlingmind
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15 Sep 2012, 7:01 pm

Maybe try some herbal remedies containing things like valerian, or St John's Wort etc?

I don't know what can truly get rid of anxiety, if I knew I'd be doing it.


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