Anyone feels embarrassed revealing your age?

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OCD_Angel
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13 Sep 2012, 10:28 am

It used to be amusing for me to reveal my age up till the age of about 30. The funny thing is that NTs are always asking my age. I don't know why they seem to ask me more than they ask anyone else. And when I tell them, they don't believe me because I look and behave like 10 years younger. I'd have to show them some ID to prove my age. And then they start staring at me in amazement and making a huge fuss as if I were some circus freak.

It started off quite amusing and even flattering up until my late 20s. People would say things like, "Wow I thought you were 18, what's your secret to youth?"

Now I'm 39. and can look anything between 18 and 28, depending on how I dress, but no older than that. Sometimes I behave like a 5 year old in terms of how easily I get thrilled by silly things, plus my shyness also makes me seem younger. I do not have the ability to behave older than, say, 25. And I dress like an 18 year old because that's how I feel the most comfortable.

So I've been embarrassed for nearly a decade telling people my age. The older I get, the bigger the reaction I get from people when I'm found out, which makes me very very uncomfortable. Plus there are some mean people who would go, like, "It's so shameful that you behave and dress like you're 18 when you're actually 30.

And I feel embarrassed when people much younger than me talk to me in an indulgent, protective way because they think I'm younger. It would be quite awkward if they knew my real age.

Most times nowadays, I would decline to answer but many NTs seem to love guessing people's age and they keep on guessing anyway, ignoring my repeated statement of "I'm not telling". They'd still go... hmm... 23? 24? 25? You can't be older than that can you? 26? Nah, no way. You must be 22. Right? Right? Come on, tell me."

Of course, there are also nice NTs who react very positively and politely, so I'm not saying every NT is horrid, but I am still uncomfortable with the fuss and still feel embarrassed.

Anyone else have the same sort of experience?



whirlingmind
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13 Sep 2012, 10:32 am

Yes, I've had this problem for years. I also apparently look way younger than I am and have had such gobsmacked reactions from people when they ask that I also ended up embarrassed at saying my age. I either change the subject or say "I'm as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth" or something in reply now. I think it's that I don't like the extreme display of emotion from people or the fact that they are so vocal I hate having attention drawn to me, and even worse is if they then go and loudly announce to another person "guess how old X is?!" It's cringe making. I don't know why people are so obsessed with ages anyway.


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Prof_Pretorius
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13 Sep 2012, 10:54 am

In my case it reversed abruptly at about age 40. There's a genetic trait in my family to go prematurely gray. Except I was gray for a couple of years then white haired. Now people always think I'm much older than I really am. I routinely get 'senior discounts' without even asking.


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glasstoria
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13 Sep 2012, 11:35 am

This happens to me, too. When I was a non traditional college student going back to school after 5 years out, it made it easier to blend in, and I was thankful for that aspect of it.

I am always surprised when people ask who do not have any need to know. Luckily most have been nice about it, one lady said her daughter looks young, too, and that she sees it as an advantage, some people go to great lengths to retain their youthful appearance.

If I age like my father has, this is how I will remain. He only recently got gray hairs at age 77 and quite honestly has less gray than most 40 year olds who don't color their hair.

I'm sorry that people are mean to you about it.


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13 Sep 2012, 11:48 am

Yeah, I feel embarrassed sharing my age, cuz apparently even at the age of 20, no one recognizes your autonomy and your rights to state what you will and will not do, and what you expect from other peoples' interactions with you.


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13 Sep 2012, 12:16 pm

I feel embarrassed about my age too. A few years ago my cousin brought her friend round mine with her (they were both 16 at the time), and her friend asked me what year I was in at school. I felt a bit awkward, and I said, ''uh....I'm not in any school year now....I'm 19 and working.'' I was more worried about how stupid or bad she might have felt, in case she might have offended me or something. I do hate looking young.

Also I tend to go after older men, in their 40s, 50s and 60s. I don't know why, I just feel more attracted to them more than I do to men in their 20s. They just seem on a different wavelength to what I like. So when people ask for my age, I just say, ''uh...mid-20s'', because if I say 22, people usually go, ''22? And you fancy old men in their 50s and 60s?'' or, ''22! You're so young!''

I don't really look young for my age any more. Nobody looks EXACTLY their age. I don't think I've heard people go, ''you are 40 years, 2 months, and a day'', and they go, ''spot on!'' Often I hear people gossip about other people, going, ''[name] doesn't look 60, I thought she was only in her early 50s'', stuff like that.


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lostonearth35
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13 Sep 2012, 1:04 pm

I thought looking young for your age was supposed to be a GOOD thing, especially if you're a woman because society thinks you should look 20 your whole life. When people tell me I don't look my age, I take it as a compliment... although I wonder now if they also mean I don't act my age as well...



Domisoldo
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13 Sep 2012, 1:24 pm

I get this often... I don't find it annoying... Except a few years back, I found it harder to be taken seriously as a woman getting involved in serious matters... :lol: Then I tried for a while to look older with not much success, changing my haircut, my clothes, and wearing make up. How uncomfortable! I'm 37 and people usually think I'm much younger... Until they see my son, who looks like he's my younger brother. 8O



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13 Sep 2012, 1:25 pm

Hmm, looking young for your age is a good thing when you're older. It's nice to look in your early 20s when you're in your 30s, or when you're in your 50s it's nice to look in your late 30s or 40s. But when you're in your early 20s like me, it's hell looking younger, because I don't want to look like a kid, I want to look at least over 20. I feel people don't treat me with respect because I look like a kid and so they don't want me to be part of the adult world. I get old women glaring at me and ignoring me, then greeting my mum, even if she doesn't know them at all, and I used to think it's the vibes I give off but I'm tired of being so hard on myself so now I have the impression that it's because I'm young, because I've heard many people say that not all elderly people like youngsters. I can see their point, I don't like other youngsters myself, but if I came across a youngster who was friendly and respectable, I would respect them back, and I've been brought up to respect my elders, so when an old man or lady is near, I always smile and hold doors open for them or let them on the bus first, and all other kind gestures like that.

What annoys me the most about people is when they say, ''I am 45 but look 43''. Like, what the hell is the difference? Or when people say, ''I am 19 but look 17''. What is the difference? Once when I was 29, somebody who asked me how old I was said, ''oh, you look more like 17, or 18.'' I nearly said, ''er, I was 18 last year, my face doesn't age within a year, dumbarse!''


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redrobin62
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13 Sep 2012, 1:40 pm

<--- Still gets asked to show his ID when buying beer.



Artemisia_Amaryllis
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13 Sep 2012, 1:42 pm

I get this fairly often, too. The ones who keep pressuring me for an answer drive me absolutely insane. My default answer to this question is "old enough to not want to answer that." It works fairly well, because then the asker looks like an obnoxious ass if they keep it up any longer. But then, there are those who don't care or aren't aware that they're being obnoxious... :/


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chris5000
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13 Sep 2012, 1:58 pm

people still think im in highschool if I dont tell them im not or my age.



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13 Sep 2012, 2:00 pm

It depends on the day. Sometimes I'll be pissed off and feel like saying "Yeah, you look like, 60. I would never have thought you were only 43." when people act all surprised I'm older than I look.

I've had people be really patronising about it, for instance when buying beer one time, the checkout person looked me up and down, behind me, all around and then said "Is your Mummy here?" I was about 18 at the time but couldn't have looked less than 12. Speaking like that even to a 12 year old is downright patronising.

I don't get embarrassed, just bored of having the same conversation over and over with everyone I meet.



dorfin
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13 Sep 2012, 3:20 pm

I got asked how old I was when I was trying to buy a packet of cigarettes in a supermarket last week. I'm nearly twice the legal age to buy them. I din't get embarrassed though, it was just annoying to have to find some ID.



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13 Sep 2012, 3:36 pm

People seem to ask my age a lot too, which is weird because I'm 33 and I was under the impression it was rude to ask that of a woman over 30! They seem to assume I'm in my 20's, though, so maybe that's why they think it's okay? It just seems strange. If my oldest daughter is around (she's 12 and looks about 15) I assume they're checking to see whether I was a teen mom. :roll:

I must sound young, too, because within the last few years I've been asked on the phone, more than once, "is your mom or dad there?"



OCD_Angel
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13 Sep 2012, 7:06 pm

whirlingmind wrote:
and even worse is if they then go and loudly announce to another person "guess how old X is?!" It's cringe making. I don't know why people are so obsessed with ages anyway.


Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention this! It's the same for me. I don't know why some people really enjoy treating me like a juicy well-kept secret and they'd do the "Guess how old she is! You'll never guess!" right in front of me as if I weren't there. That REALLY makes me feel like a circus freak.

Then my age is finally revealed and everyone would be, "Nooo! You're lying! Wow! Really?" all over me. :(