What do you find hard to accept that Aspies do?

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Tiranasta
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27 Sep 2012, 1:40 am

Jaden wrote:
Tiranasta wrote:
Dirtdigger wrote:
Tiranasta wrote:
Personally, I see no reason not to have friends. Sometimes I'm bored and they can help alleviate that. Besides, a friend can't stab me in the back if I give them no opportunities to do so.


I don't think you have to give some so-called friends the opportunity. If they are one of those types they will stab you in the back anyhow. I do socialize a little, but I don't particularly like to.

My point is that if you've entered a situation in which they have any effective means to act against you, you've done something wrong.


It's been my experience that if someone wants to do harm in some way, they're going to use anything, even you expressing you're beliefs (personal experience), as cannon feed. One need not give them the opportunity, if they're looking for one, they'll find it. People like that will use the dumbest crap, and it don't matter if you set it up or not, they'll use something as stupid as the way you (not you personally, just anyone) walk if they have nothing else. Which to me, is the most immature thing anyone could ever do.

I really don't see how any harm could be done with relation to how a person walks, unless the victim were absurdly oversensitive. Well, that or if the victimizer was literally physically tripping the victim over or something like that.



Jaden
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27 Sep 2012, 1:57 am

Tiranasta wrote:
I really don't see how any harm could be done with relation to how a person walks, unless the victim were absurdly oversensitive. Well, that or if the victimizer was literally physically tripping the victim over or something like that.


lol yeah I used walk as an example of something stupid that said person would use as a last ditch attempt. not a very good example I admit lol, but I think it probably gets the point across (mostly).


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27 Sep 2012, 5:35 am

I dont know many aspies, but excessive talking could annoy me, even though I can do it myself sometimes

Maybe if I switch medications I could find something else unbearable...[about myself]



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27 Sep 2012, 6:31 am

Trying to gain acceptance in normal society, I'd say.


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27 Sep 2012, 9:38 am

i find it hard to accept that so many aspies have right-wing politics.


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27 Sep 2012, 6:23 pm

equestriatola wrote:
Trying to gain acceptance in normal society, I'd say.


It's not gonna happen I'm sad to say .


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27 Sep 2012, 8:45 pm

Callista wrote:
Hey, I don't mind having a few extreme introverts or people with social anxiety disorder around here. They have a lot of the same problems as autistics do; we have enough in common to talk about, for sure. If they don't have autism, and they do have some other disorder, I hope they get help, but if they're close enough to autistic to wonder whether they have it, their experiences are going to be pretty close to ours, and maybe some of the same solutions would apply to their problems.


Neither do I seeing as how I'm an introvert myself.

My objection is everyone with "social awkwardness," or has trouble relating to other people being lumped in with "autism." ASDs are a lot more than just trouble socializing, and a label can only be diluted so much before it becomes useless.

I guess it's more a case of I don't get what's "sexy" about being "autistic" as opposed to just "introverted" when you don't stim, have a need for routine, deal with change just fine, ect. I feel the same way about people with kids, a spouse, a steady career, good grades in school, who decide half way through grad. school that they "suffer" from ADHD.

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It does puzzle me sometimes that people with ASDs seem to care so much about being normal. For me, that was something I understood was both impossible and undesirable very early on. I'm just not connected enough to society to value the same things everyone else seems to value. It seems weird to me that somebody could simultaneously be integrated into their culture deeply enough to adopt those values, while at the same time having enough of a social disconnect to be diagnosed with autism.


Precisely. I didn't even recognize I was abnormal let alone pine away for normalcy.

I also don't get why a supposed Aspie would care so much about fashion, personal appearance, looking sexy, or what other people do in their spare time. ASDs are supposed to be a social/communication deficit and the aforementioned suggests a highly "social" way of viewing the world.

I smell bullplop, professionally DXed or not.


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Last edited by XFilesGeek on 27 Sep 2012, 9:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Jaden
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27 Sep 2012, 9:40 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
I also don't get why a supposed Aspie would care so much about fashion, personal appearance, looking sexy, or what other people do in their spare time. ASDs are supposed to be a social/communication deficit and the aforementioned suggests a highly "social" way of viewing the world.

I smell bullplop, professionally DXed or not.


Caring about one's appearance doesn't really have anything to do with sociality, it's more on the basis of vanity than anything. One can want to look their best for their own confidence, not necessarily to please other people or be social in any way.

The social communication deficient aspects of ASD's are about actual communication in relation to other people in a face to face medium, not the way someone "views the world".


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27 Sep 2012, 9:49 pm

Jaden wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
I also don't get why a supposed Aspie would care so much about fashion, personal appearance, looking sexy, or what other people do in their spare time. ASDs are supposed to be a social/communication deficit and the aforementioned suggests a highly "social" way of viewing the world.

I smell bullplop, professionally DXed or not.


Caring about one's appearance doesn't really have anything to do with sociality, it's more on the basis of vanity than anything. One can want to look their best for their own confidence, not necessarily to please other people or be social in any way.


And "vanity" largely deals with considering how other people see you.

From Wikipedia:

Quote:
In conventional parlance, vanity is the excessive belief in one's own abilities or attractiveness to others (Stephen LaMarche)


Quote:
he social communication deficient aspects of ASD's are about actual communication in relation to other people in a face to face medium, not the way someone "views the world".


And the "communication deficits" in autism are related to how one views the world.

"Stuttering" is a communication hindrance, but I don't consider it as having anything to do with autism.

I remain somewhat skeptical of people who have an inherently "social" outlook actually being on the spectrum.


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bruinsy33
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27 Sep 2012, 10:06 pm

It's hard to accept the fact that the majority of Aspies struggle getting into and maintaining relationships because people with AS lack superficial qualities such as reading body language,poor eye contact. People with AS seem to be very genuine and don't put on airs and in my opinion, they are very good qualities but they are not characteristics that will make one successful when it comes to dating.It is almost like you have to sell yourself.



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27 Sep 2012, 10:11 pm

Callista wrote:
It does puzzle me sometimes that people with ASDs seem to care so much about being normal. For me, that was something I understood was both impossible and undesirable very early on. I'm just not connected enough to society to value the same things everyone else seems to value. It seems weird to me that somebody could simultaneously be integrated into their culture deeply enough to adopt those values, while at the same time having enough of a social disconnect to be diagnosed with autism.

I suppose it's people with the smallest social disconnect who are most vulnerable to that kind of thing--the "I'm not normal enough" self-criticism. I think it must be pretty tough to be close enough to want to be normal, but far enough not to be. It's easier if you know you're not normal and can never be, because then you can start early on figuring out who you are and who you want to be.


Wow. This is very true, and very well said. The reason Aspies can intergrate into the specific culture is because the intellectual abilities are intact, and if you are able to excel in those abilities you can practically do anything. You can understand the culture.

Mdyar wrote:
Hmmm....... I'm puzzled how an "act" can be carried on and on and on, all going against the natural grain. I suppose it's the sink or swim consequence. One thing is for certain: sooner or later Mr. or Mrs. NT will see through that given enough time. I suppose in a way it's a carefully constructed dance to change partners to avoid detection.


This is my life.

XFilesGeek wrote:
I remain somewhat skeptical of people who have an inherently "social" outlook actually being on the spectrum.


See above.

I find it hard to accept that Aspies have almost uncontrollable stims and somewhat crippling sensory issues. I have shaken those things off ages ago. And I don't think it's so inherently connected to ASD.



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27 Sep 2012, 10:14 pm

^^^^

Brain injury .


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Jaden
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27 Sep 2012, 10:15 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
And "vanity" largely deals with considering how other people see you.

From Wikipedia:

Quote:
In conventional parlance, vanity is the excessive belief in one's own abilities or attractiveness to others (Stephen LaMarche)


Quote:
he social communication deficient aspects of ASD's are about actual communication in relation to other people in a face to face medium, not the way someone "views the world".


And the "communication deficits" in autism are related to how one views the world.

"Stuttering" is a communication hindrance, but I don't consider it as having anything to do with autism.

I remain somewhat skeptical of people who have an inherently "social" outlook actually being on the spectrum.


Vanity as defined by dictionary:
"Excessive pride in or admiration of one's own appearance or achievements."
The vanity you've described is a belief about how other see you, the one I'm talking about is actual vanity in one's self image in relation to one's confidence, not other people's views.

One can view the world as happy and full of opportunity, but that doesn't make the person sociable. Social behavior is established through connections in the brain, connections that don't exist in a lot of autistic people. This is stuff that people are born with, it's not really how someone sees the world.


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27 Sep 2012, 10:19 pm

aussiebloke wrote:
^^^^

Brain injury .


I don't have that. Aspies don't either.



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27 Sep 2012, 10:20 pm

Underscore wrote:
aussiebloke wrote:
^^^^

Brain injury .


I don't have that. Aspies don't either.[/quote

well I did .


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