Do you ever get described as "intense"?
I get this a lot. People find me intense, intimidating, too "smart" ("you're a smart one, aren't you?" when all I am doing is trying to engage in what I consider social chit chat!), too deep, etc...
On the one hand, my special interest (people) can help in social settings, because I am highly interested in how people think, etc, which makes it easier for me to ask them questions about themselves, yet at the same time, I tend to come across as though I am somewhat interrogating them, going too deep (I sometimes make people cry from going too deep! Oops ).... People also say they can "see me thinking" when I am talking with them...
I think that, as much as talking with others exhausts ME, it appears that others talking with me can exhaust THEM as well.... Hmmm... This might be due to the fact I have to intellectualise my conversation rather than naturally just "flow" with others, plus I hate being stuck at just the surface level of conversation (boring!) and would rather talk about the interesting stuff at a deeper level.... I am also just trying to understand them, and that takes a lot of questions!! lol I have learnt that if I assume stuff about others, I am usually wrong, so these days I prefer to ask questions in order to get a more accurate picture... (I guess they expect me to understand better through their nonverbal messages, but good luck with that )
On the one hand, my special interest (people) can help in social settings, because I am highly interested in how people think, etc, which makes it easier for me to ask them questions about themselves, yet at the same time, I tend to come across as though I am somewhat interrogating them, going too deep (I sometimes make people cry from going too deep! Oops ).... People also say they can "see me thinking" when I am talking with them...
I think that, as much as talking with others exhausts ME, it appears that others talking with me can exhaust THEM as well.... Hmmm... This might be due to the fact I have to intellectualise my conversation rather than naturally just "flow" with others, plus I hate being stuck at just the surface level of conversation (boring!) and would rather talk about the interesting stuff at a deeper level.... I am also just trying to understand them, and that takes a lot of questions!! lol I have learnt that if I assume stuff about others, I am usually wrong, so these days I prefer to ask questions in order to get a more accurate picture... (I guess they expect me to understand better through their nonverbal messages, but good luck with that )
Oh, awhile back( actually some decades) a coworker laughed at "this" and said I should have become a Psychiatrist: " because you like to pick everyone's brains...... "
It's sort of strange I guess because who looks at these details or finds this area interesting enough to probe? I'm the only one so far.
Though, I have not heard "intense." I'm pretty laid back.
Though, I have not heard "intense." I'm pretty laid back.
Actually, that is interesting, because I also get called very laid back also.
Must be the all or nothing aspect. I am either very intense, or totally laid back lol (that is more me just not knowing what to say or do, so I just keep out of it altogether lol Much easier sometimes!). I am either "on" (mainly with my close friends) or "off" (with everyone else).
zombiegirl2010
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<--- Been told numerous times he's intense.
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I've been called intense many times and recently been told I look downright scary when playing sports. I was called a dirty player again on Monday for the third time and I still can't figure out why since I go out of my way to be a good sport. Maybe looking intense causes people to make unfair assumptions.
Must be the all or nothing aspect. I am either very intense, or totally laid back lol (that is more me just not knowing what to say or do, so I just keep out of it altogether lol Much easier sometimes!). I am either "on" (mainly with my close friends) or "off" (with everyone else).
Lol that's me most of the time, I can rarely relax and be normal.
I think NTs are the opposite of intense.
emimeni
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Unless I'm being rigid/obstinate/determined/persistant/it-really-depends-on-how-much-you-like-me, I'm pretty laid back.
Mom told my then-psychiatrist that when I was a baby, I could sit up in my crib after my nap, smiling and content to just sit there. I knew who my mom was, but didn't feel any desire to call for her. She said that she once tested to see how long I would go without calling her; she gave up after a half hour!
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On the one hand, my special interest (people) can help in social settings, because I am highly interested in how people think, etc, which makes it easier for me to ask them questions about themselves, yet at the same time, I tend to come across as though I am somewhat interrogating them, going too deep (I sometimes make people cry from going too deep! Oops ).... People also say they can "see me thinking" when I am talking with them...
I think that, as much as talking with others exhausts ME, it appears that others talking with me can exhaust THEM as well.... Hmmm... This might be due to the fact I have to intellectualise my conversation rather than naturally just "flow" with others, plus I hate being stuck at just the surface level of conversation (boring!) and would rather talk about the interesting stuff at a deeper level.... I am also just trying to understand them, and that takes a lot of questions!! lol I have learnt that if I assume stuff about others, I am usually wrong, so these days I prefer to ask questions in order to get a more accurate picture... (I guess they expect me to understand better through their nonverbal messages, but good luck with that )
People don't tell me I am intense. But often, in social situations, I feel intense. I also look intense as I have permanent concentration lines/creases on my forehead. I think this "intensity" is because my mind is constantly working/analsying/evaluating "what I have said to other people", and "what other people have said to me". I keep replaying social situations over and over in my head, thinking and writing about them repetivitely. It is an exhausting process, but I have to/need work it all out. Maybe it is because I have to consciously analyse the social stuff, that perhaps other NT people understand and react to intuitively.???
I get extremely intense with my special interests, ESPECIALLY basketball. When I'm in basketball mode nothing else exists and I become hyper competitive. My basketball intensity is comparable to Kevin Garnett in how he gets hyped up.
outofplace
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Yup. I have been called intense before, as well as rigid, too black and white, complex, someone who thinks too much, blunt, pedantic, stilted, condescending, rebellious and too talkative.
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I was like that too, and stayed that way throughout childhood. My mom says that I would sit and play quietly by myself for hours, literally--she could come back an hour or so later from a different part of the house and I would be in the exact same place.
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