Aspies DO have the desire to having social contacts. Right?

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btbnnyr
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04 Oct 2012, 8:13 pm

Autism is one of my special interests, so I read and post here to learn from autistic people.



emimeni
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04 Oct 2012, 8:16 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
I didn't say it wasn't "interaction."

In any case, I'm not here because I desire to be "social," I'm here because I enjoy writing.


Fair enough.


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idratherbeatree
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04 Oct 2012, 8:21 pm

You're on a forum. Anyone who says this isn't social contact is full of s**t IMO.
This forum clearly has a lot of aspies, and a lot of people looking for social contacts.


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XFilesGeek
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04 Oct 2012, 8:38 pm

idratherbeatree wrote:
You're on a forum. Anyone who says this isn't social contact is full of sh** IMO.
This forum clearly has a lot of aspies, and a lot of people looking for social contacts.


Why do people insist on confabulating motivations for other people, even when the person in question clearly explains what they're ACTUALLY thinking and feeling?

Seesh. So far, people on this forum have claimed to know better than me the reasons why I have tattoos........there's no end of teenaged boys who insist on lecturing adult women on what it's "really" like to be female........and now I'm being told why I'm posting on this forum. What gives?

Anyway, if I explained in full detail how I view other humans, I'm bound to insult someone, which I've resolved to try not to do.


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Jaden
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04 Oct 2012, 9:50 pm

emimeni wrote:
I think, technically, the only difference between Asperger Syndrome and classical autism is the language differences. Whether or not you desire contact is irrelevant, and I'm not sure why otherwise reputable sources keep stating otherwise.


Exactly, the only reason i don't have a classic autism diagnosis, is because I function with communication (what the doctor said). And the only reason I can communicate like I do is because my mom taught me some signs as a kid because I couldn't communicate any other way. Learning sign language (some of it) allowed me to understand language communication with time and work, before that I couldn't speak in complete sentences, I couldn't relay thoughts, nothing. It was a very frustrating time for both me and my parents.

But I agree, the primary difference between AS and Autism is the high function and language skills.


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CyclopsSummers
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04 Oct 2012, 11:46 pm

Jaden wrote:
emimeni wrote:
I think, technically, the only difference between Asperger Syndrome and classical autism is the language differences. Whether or not you desire contact is irrelevant, and I'm not sure why otherwise reputable sources keep stating otherwise.


Exactly, the only reason i don't have a classic autism diagnosis, is because I function with communication (what the doctor said). And the only reason I can communicate like I do is because my mom taught me some signs as a kid because I couldn't communicate any other way. Learning sign language (some of it) allowed me to understand language communication with time and work, before that I couldn't speak in complete sentences, I couldn't relay thoughts, nothing. It was a very frustrating time for both me and my parents.

But I agree, the primary difference between AS and Autism is the high function and language skills.


When I went to get my official diagnosis, I expressly told the headshrinker that I had no significant language delay or unusual language skills development in my childhood. Verbally, I was -if I may brag, here- always ahead of my classmates.

Yet, I got the label 'autistic disorder' instead of Asperger syndrome. Yeah, made me scratch my head at the time, too. My self-diagnosis was Asperger syndrome for a while. (Prior to this, in school, the school psychiatrist had not specified beyond 'an autistiform disorder'). There are MORE factors coming into play than merely delayed language development.


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btbnnyr
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05 Oct 2012, 12:19 am

Maybe your psych is moar biased towards diagnosing autism, while another psych who is moar biased towards diagnosing AS might have diagnosed you with AS instead.

In California, most children on the autism spectrum are diagnosed with autism, because autism is the label that gets services. AS and PDD-NOS don't get as many.



Jaden
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05 Oct 2012, 1:06 am

CyclopsSummers wrote:
Jaden wrote:
emimeni wrote:
I think, technically, the only difference between Asperger Syndrome and classical autism is the language differences. Whether or not you desire contact is irrelevant, and I'm not sure why otherwise reputable sources keep stating otherwise.


Exactly, the only reason i don't have a classic autism diagnosis, is because I function with communication (what the doctor said). And the only reason I can communicate like I do is because my mom taught me some signs as a kid because I couldn't communicate any other way. Learning sign language (some of it) allowed me to understand language communication with time and work, before that I couldn't speak in complete sentences, I couldn't relay thoughts, nothing. It was a very frustrating time for both me and my parents.

But I agree, the primary difference between AS and Autism is the high function and language skills.


When I went to get my official diagnosis, I expressly told the headshrinker that I had no significant language delay or unusual language skills development in my childhood. Verbally, I was -if I may brag, here- always ahead of my classmates.

Yet, I got the label 'autistic disorder' instead of Asperger syndrome. Yeah, made me scratch my head at the time, too. My self-diagnosis was Asperger syndrome for a while. (Prior to this, in school, the school psychiatrist had not specified beyond 'an autistiform disorder'). There are MORE factors coming into play than merely delayed language development.


Yes, I agree that language isn't the only factor, it is a primary one though lol.


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Erminetheawkward
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05 Oct 2012, 1:17 pm

I want connection, and want to feel understood by others, but I have the hardest time finding the motivation to do what it takes to get there.


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ravenloft68
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05 Oct 2012, 1:52 pm

I like having friends, but I always seem to have a portion of friends who share many of the same interests I do such as computers or communications technlogy. I suspect a few of my geeky counterparts are unknowingly AS as well. At the same time, I've always been more comfortable with a smaller circle of friends. It's just seems to be easier to manage. With a large amount of NT friends comes alot of residual drama, issues and situations I don't wish to get wrapped up in. There are a few that Understand and accept me the way I am, and I'm greatful and care for them a great deal. The rest do not understand or refuse to, so they are not permanent friends.


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Dillogic
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05 Oct 2012, 1:57 pm

Forum participation can be two things:

Social interaction, especially when it's via PM or the usual "social" boards
or
mechanical interaction about interests that's basically fact sharing and arguing points

#2 isn't "social" interaction
#1 is, even if it's taken to the usual one-sided approach of AS (it's still social no matter how bad you are at it)



outofplace
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05 Oct 2012, 2:05 pm

Dillogic wrote:
Forum participation can be two things:

Social interaction, especially when it's via PM or the usual "social" boards
or
mechanical interaction about interests that's basically fact sharing and arguing points

#2 isn't "social" interaction
#1 is, even if it's taken to the usual one-sided approach of AS (it's still social no matter how bad you are at it)


Agreed. The reasons for participating in a site like this vary according to the wants and needs of the individual in question. I personally do it for a bit of both reasons in addition to my love of writing.


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BenPritchard
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05 Oct 2012, 2:14 pm

No I've never had the desire to have friends/social contacts. I do have friends at school but I could live without them and actually most of the time I prefer to be alone. Just today I joined an "after school club" and was quite worried after leaving one of my friends was going to walk home with me. I love to be alone especially when outside of school and very much so whilst walking. I guess I just don't feel as happy whilst socialising but I guess this is different for everybody on the spectrum. Some love socialising (surprisingly) and some others don't like it as much.

I rest my case :wink:



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05 Oct 2012, 2:21 pm

I encounter an ongoing fascination with power plays, in which opposites attract.

Or, there is simply zero, zilch, nill interest in neutrality.

I can posture assertively, by conscious effort, attract needy people. I can play wingman, and attract jerks.

I would like to appreciate the finer, or simpler things, with an equal or co-equals, expect a mutual respect of eachother's personal boundaries, am coming to believe that no such thing happens in human nature.

So far as I can tell, being AS is an inability to cope with the shrill and overbearing.

But, I'm getting that this variety, the emotional roller coaster, is the spice of life for most people.



emimeni
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05 Oct 2012, 6:13 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
Why do people insist on confabulating motivations for other people, even when the person in question clearly explains what they're ACTUALLY thinking and feeling?

Seesh. So far, people on this forum have claimed to know better than me the reasons why I have tattoos........there's no end of teenaged boys who insist on lecturing adult women on what it's "really" like to be female........and now I'm being told why I'm posting on this forum. What gives?

Anyway, if I explained in full detail how I view other humans, I'm bound to insult someone, which I've resolved to try not to do.


They do it, perhaps, because they're human, and humans like to explain things, whether or not they have an ASD. :roll:

Jaden wrote:
Exactly, the only reason i don't have a classic autism diagnosis, is because I function with communication (what the doctor said). And the only reason I can communicate like I do is because my mom taught me some signs as a kid because I couldn't communicate any other way. Learning sign language (some of it) allowed me to understand language communication with time and work, before that I couldn't speak in complete sentences, I couldn't relay thoughts, nothing. It was a very frustrating time for both me and my parents.

But I agree, the primary difference between AS and Autism is the high function and language skills.


"High function"? You realize the lack of need for receptive and expressive language delays mean that someone with severe Asperger Syndrome is going to look a lot differently than someone with severe classical autism.

CyclopsSummers wrote:
When I went to get my official diagnosis, I expressly told the headshrinker that I had no significant language delay or unusual language skills development in my childhood. Verbally, I was -if I may brag, here- always ahead of my classmates.

Yet, I got the label 'autistic disorder' instead of Asperger syndrome. Yeah, made me scratch my head at the time, too. My self-diagnosis was Asperger syndrome for a while. (Prior to this, in school, the school psychiatrist had not specified beyond 'an autistiform disorder'). There are MORE factors coming into play than merely delayed language development.


Like, the prejudices your headshrinker has? Or, the below.

btbnnyr wrote:
Maybe your psych is moar biased towards diagnosing autism, while another psych who is moar biased towards diagnosing AS might have diagnosed you with AS instead.

In California, most children on the autism spectrum are diagnosed with autism, because autism is the label that gets services. AS and PDD-NOS don't get as many.


My mom doesn't seem to understand that my diagnosis (PDD-NOS) doesn't get me any services after the age of three. She thinks I should be able to get in-home services...a group home placement, even!

Erminetheawkward wrote:
I want connection, and want to feel understood by others, but I have the hardest time finding the motivation to do what it takes to get there.


I can really relate to that. I desire social contact, but also prefer to be alone.


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Jaden
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05 Oct 2012, 10:04 pm

emimeni wrote:
"High function"? You realize the lack of need for receptive and expressive language delays mean that someone with severe Asperger Syndrome is going to look a lot differently than someone with severe classical autism.


I'm just telling you what experts have told me. Aspergers by definition is a high functioning form of autism and the primary difference is communication skills. Those with autism tend to not always have communication skills, but most with AS do. (whether someone with AS wants to be social or not, is a whole other matter and has little to do with communication skills themselves)

Besides that, I wasn't talking about "severe" cases of autism anyway, I was talking about classic autism, which is not necessarily "severe" by any stretch. Most autism cases that have been made known are severe cases, but that's not the only level of autism (unlike what people think).


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