I shouldn't, but I look down on "social" people

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Sanctus
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07 Oct 2012, 3:54 pm

I always had trouble to respect a majority of NTs. That doesn't mean I treat them badly, it's just a prejudice that I have, making me avoid these people.

I mean people who are best friends with everyone and apparently have no problem at all with finding thousands of "friends". I find that most of these friendships are very shallow and meaningless. If I was one of the dozens of friends somebody has, I'd really doubt my value in that person's eyes. If somebody apparently gets along with everyone, to me that means he has no real principles.

Another kind of people who secretly make me roll my eyes are the ones who CONSTANTLY need sensory input, and can't do anything without making noise. They have the TV running all day, if you ask them "what are you watching?" the answer is usually "oh, nothing, I just use it as background noise". :? They make phone calls which last for hours. I always both admired and condemned people who are loud and "social" in school all day, then go home, immediately use teamspeak to talk to people some more, and finally they go out to socialize even more.

I realise that this is totally normal for a lot of NTs and only seems overwhelming to me because I am more sensitive. But I look down on people who treat other people as their only/biggest reason to live. I always rolled my eyes at people who say stuff like "my family is the most important thing in my life" or "the only thing that matters is love". No, dear NT, love is not the most important thing in life. If it was, there wouldn't be war or crime. Our lives evolve around so much more than love: hate, greed, ambition... another reason why I'm not interested in bands that only release love songs..

I know that this is just how I see the world and that for other people, life might really just evolve around shallow social connections and "love". I don't even claim that my viewpoint is superior. All I can say is that these people annoy me to no end, and I'd like to know if you feel the same.



cathylynn
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07 Oct 2012, 3:57 pm

helping other people is my reason for existing.



Sanctus
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07 Oct 2012, 3:59 pm

cathylynn wrote:
helping other people is my reason for existing.


See, that's something I could never understand. I mean it's probably noble and all, but.. I don't know.. it's probably just because I don't really feel a connection to other people.

That or I'm just a sociopath. :D



The_Walrus
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07 Oct 2012, 4:13 pm

Sanctus wrote:
No, dear NT, love is not the most important thing in life. If it was, there wouldn't be war or crime. Our lives evolve around so much more than love: hate, greed, ambition...

But if we had more love, hate would definitely disappear, and probably greed too.

Is the world John Lennon sang about in songs like All You Need Is Love, Give Peace A Chance and Imagine totally unrealistic? Undoubtedly. Is it a great ideal? Fo' shizzle.



CockneyRebel
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07 Oct 2012, 4:18 pm

The bubbly types who talk like Valley Girls, thrive on perfection and hate anybody who's different from themselves, especially if they're special needs.

I don't care for those types, either.


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Sanctus
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07 Oct 2012, 4:18 pm

The_Walrus wrote:
Sanctus wrote:
No, dear NT, love is not the most important thing in life. If it was, there wouldn't be war or crime. Our lives evolve around so much more than love: hate, greed, ambition...

But if we had more love, hate would definitely disappear, and probably greed too.


I don't think that's how it works. Love and greed don't cancel out each other.



antifeministfrills
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07 Oct 2012, 4:18 pm

OP, I can relate to you. :P



Sanctus
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07 Oct 2012, 4:22 pm

antifeministfrills wrote:
OP, I can relate to you. :P


Cool. 8)

I honestly considered I might have schizoid personality disorder. The only symptom that doesn't really fit me is the inability to feel joy.. because I can be happy.. sometimes... once in a year... :wink:



SickInDaHead
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07 Oct 2012, 4:27 pm

Quote:
I realize that this is totally normal for a lot of NTs and only seems overwhelming to me because I am more sensitive. But I look down on people who treat other people as their only/biggest reason to live. I always rolled my eyes at people who say stuff like "my family is the most important thing in my life" or "the only thing that matters is love". No, dear NT, love is not the most important thing in life. If it was, there wouldn't be war or crime. Our lives evolve around so much more than love: hate, greed, ambition... another reason why I'm not interested in bands that only release love songs..



Actually, you refer to love as being the element that "could" possible cancel out these negative things. You are half right. Yes if love was the answer and sought out as such, you might get peace on earth.

But half right because love is a two edged sword and you have overlooked that wars, hate, greed, and all that other stuff stems from a lack of love.

To be more precise, it's the lack of love and those who respond poorly to the lack of love.

But we also have to rule out the truly sick people for whom love is no answer, and not even on their radar. They love corruption of flesh and earth, and deception too. They might love, or not, but with them, it don't matter.

Those people make much progress in screwing up the world because of all those NTs being "social" all the time and not noting much else.



antifeministfrills
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07 Oct 2012, 4:28 pm

I think people should actually listen to each other in conversations and share their actual thoughts/feelings (isn't that the point of conversation?). Maybe there would be less hate that way, because people wouldn't have the pent up passive aggression due to the social norm that we agree with others to keep the peace



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07 Oct 2012, 4:31 pm

SickInDaHead wrote:
Quote:
I realize that this is totally normal for a lot of NTs and only seems overwhelming to me because I am more sensitive. But I look down on people who treat other people as their only/biggest reason to live. I always rolled my eyes at people who say stuff like "my family is the most important thing in my life" or "the only thing that matters is love". No, dear NT, love is not the most important thing in life. If it was, there wouldn't be war or crime. Our lives evolve around so much more than love: hate, greed, ambition... another reason why I'm not interested in bands that only release love songs..



Actually, you refer to love as being the element that "could" possible cancel out these negative things. You are half right. Yes if love was the answer and sought out as such, you might get peace on earth.

But half right because love is a two edged sword and you have overlooked that wars, hate, greed, and all that other stuff stems from a lack of love.

To be more precise, it's the lack of love and those who respond poorly to the lack of love.

But we also have to rule out the truly sick people for whom love is no answer, and not even on their radar. They love corruption of flesh and earth, and deception too. They might love, or not, but with them, it don't matter.

Those people make much progress in screwing up the world because of all those NTs being "social" all the time and not noting much else.


I see I should have expressed myself better. I agree that love doesn't cancel out hate or greed. The thing is.. well some people act like the only thing you should ever care for, the only thing that should matter in life is love. I think reality shows that this is not only not the case, but not possible, and cannot be combined with the human character.



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07 Oct 2012, 4:37 pm

antifeministfrills wrote:
I think people should actually listen to each other in conversations and share their actual thoughts/feelings (isn't that the point of conversation?). Maybe there would be less hate that way, because people wouldn't have the pent up passive aggression due to the social norm that we agree with others to keep the peace


^ Absolutely! Honesty is always the best policy. People hiding things and skirting around them is just annoying and shows that you don't trust the other person enough to show how you really think and feel about things.

OP: I feel the same way. Not all NTs do this, but some seem to conceptualize concepts like love and friendship a lot differently without focusing on the genuine. With others, they talk about nothing, and never seem to think about who they are as a person, or what the other person really means to them. It's so false.


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Mostly keeping a distance from ASD-related things (including WP).


BunnyMum
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07 Oct 2012, 5:15 pm

I know what you mean OP, these types annoy me too. However, if I'm being honest here, I'm not sure if they annoy me because they're so loud and, well... annoying, or if it's because I'm secretly jealous of them because they always seem to be the ones who get ahead in life whilst quiet introspectives like me seem to get left behind...



Filipendula
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07 Oct 2012, 5:30 pm

Yep, I'm largely the same.

I've always had a very small number of people who I would call friends and they mean a lot to me no matter what. However, one of those friends grew into the kind of NT you describe. She's like a butterfly flitting from one set of friends to another and it's impossible to hold her attention for very long. Although I'll be eternally loyal to her because of our shared history, I can't help feeling that her friendship means far more to me than mine does to her and it annoys me intensely. I simply can't comprehend that she can have so many friends, give each one so little time, and not consider that she's cheapened the whole thing. It makes trusting her opinion of me very difficult.


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TheTigress
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07 Oct 2012, 5:57 pm

I feel the same way as the OP. I wish I could add more but the OP did a good job of summing up my thoughts.



alecazam3567
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07 Oct 2012, 6:09 pm

It sounds mean, but I have the same views.