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amconfused
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08 Oct 2012, 10:36 am

Just recently found out about aspergers, and a lot of its symptoms match with me. Please tell me if i do have it, and what can i do. This is why i think i might have aspergers.

My father has told me a lot of times that i lack empathy. My mother tells me that i get overly obsessed with certain things, and i do, i was obsessed with some things in school and in college but my father discouraged it, even though he would buy me books related to in among other things.
But i was not socially awkward. I had friends in school and college. But some of them in college do tell me that i do not know how to communicate socially. I never quite understood what that meant because i thought it was because our interests don't match. I can make eye contact, can express myself. Am quite smart, average at math but read a lot, good with logic, being rational, and know a lot of things. I never had a problem communicating if i wanted to. Even though they are friends, they don't invite me sometimes. Once a friend told me not talk to his friends who were coming that day. I just attributed this to them being stupid. I can have a good conversation if interests match, otherwise there is awkward silence. Also i do feel most times that most people are stupid. Tell that to most of my mates who i feel are smart, and they must feel i am very arrogant.
I talk very quickly, and sometimes say things i do not mean. This sometimes becomes a huge problem in certain social situations. I have learn to cope from this by just shutting up in such situations.
I am brutally honest because i used to believe that it is good to criticize people because it benefits them. Now, i am starting to learn that people just want to hear everything good about them even though it means lying to their face, but still most times do criticize.
Started weed in college and loved it. Came to a point where i started smoking everyday, but left now. Haven't smoked even once since then, will love to do it but to really enjoy smoking weed you have to take 2 days off which i cannot afford now.
I can feel for people, i feel very sad when i see poor and helpless people. Am involved in community service.
I do not have a organized room. My room is always a mess and i am never bothered about it.
Have a very vivid imagination, talk to myself a LOT, and lately, have become more isolated. But am very confident about myself.

So, what is it?



amconfused
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08 Oct 2012, 10:42 am

I know it is easier to get diagnosed, but i am from India and its really hard to find a good psychologist. And don't want to bother my parents with this.



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08 Oct 2012, 11:14 am

It does sound like you have some of the signs. But nobody can diagnose you over the internet. I'm sorry it is so difficult for you to get professional help. If you are really having issues I think you should talk to your parents about it. I have two sons and if there is something bothering them I would want them to "bother" me about it, and I think your parents would too.


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antifeministfrills
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08 Oct 2012, 2:18 pm

amconfused wrote:
I know it is easier to get diagnosed, but i am from India and its really hard to find a good psychologist. And don't want to bother my parents with this.


Why don't you want to bother your parents? Their role is to take care of you.



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08 Oct 2012, 2:32 pm

You would be better off to seek a valid diagnosis from an appropriately-trained mental-health professional than from a random collection of untrained strangers on a social website.


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DerStadtschutz
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08 Oct 2012, 2:53 pm

antifeministfrills wrote:
amconfused wrote:
I know it is easier to get diagnosed, but i am from India and its really hard to find a good psychologist. And don't want to bother my parents with this.


Why don't you want to bother your parents? Their role is to take care of you.


That's definitely their job, but it doesn't mean all parents want to do their job. If they did, we wouldn't have all these kids on ritalin, and we wouldn't have idiotic parents and kids suing rockstar games after their kid goes to school and shoots people. First of all, videogames don't cause violence(if they did, I'd be one violent mofo, and I'm the least violent person you'll ever meet), and even if they did, as a parent it's your job to keep track of what your kid plays/watches.



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08 Oct 2012, 2:56 pm

You sound a bit like me and I am one of the people on here who does not have a formal diagnosis. I suspect it strongly but getting tested is not easy or affordable for me to do so for now I just try to learn from others on this board and improve my life. If you want to go a little further to confirm or deny your suspicions you could try some of the online self-assessment tools for autistic spectrum disorders to see if you are at least in the ballpark. There are quite a few linked in the sticky near the top of this page. If you want a few more, you can also try this link: Web Page Name


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08 Oct 2012, 3:30 pm

You need diagnostics... only then can you receive the tools needed to help you.

I know it is hard, but diagnosis is your greatest tool in cases of AS disorders.


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balletnerd
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08 Oct 2012, 3:43 pm

Hi,

Its best to get a diagnosis if you can. I'm still fighting to be referred for one despite the opinions of a psychologist and my ex's sister who has worked exclusively with young people on the autistic spectrum for the past 12 years that I have Aspergers syndrome. The psychologist was unable to confirm a diagnosis for Aspergers as she specialised in other learning disabilities and was only able to confirm my dyslexia.

You sound very similar to my brother actually but he has not been diagnosed with Aspergers either. He has OCD.



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08 Oct 2012, 4:14 pm

It never ceases to amaze me how much faith and interest in "getting diagnosed" many posters have. It is like once you get a diagnosis these shrinks will just give you pills, and have you coming back once or twice a month FOREVER. It won't change anything... maybe you will feel a little less anxiety, but it won't be a transformative relationship.

It's more like getting a dx will be like the NTs will now have a note in your permanent record that says, "You have a problem. You could act out in one of a number of ways. You could need special treatment. You could raise the costs of medical care."

I mean... we don't see any posts here that say stuff like, ""OMG my shrink is soo great, and my life has blossomed since I started taking meds."


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balletnerd
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08 Oct 2012, 4:51 pm

I wasn't aware that Asperger's could be medicated away as such (it doesn't appear to be the received wisdom in the UK although someone correct me if I am wrong) - I'm just looking for some reasonable adjustments at my workplace which is why I feel I need the diagnosis.

I guess I overlooked the fact that different countries might treat this sort of thing differently, so perhaps a bit of prior reserach into the pros and cons of diagnosis would be useful.



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08 Oct 2012, 5:29 pm

balletnerd wrote:
I wasn't aware that Asperger's could be medicated away as such (it doesn't appear to be the received wisdom in the UK although someone correct me if I am wrong) - I'm just looking for some reasonable adjustments at my workplace which is why I feel I need the diagnosis.

I guess I overlooked the fact that different countries might treat this sort of thing differently, so perhaps a bit of prior reserach into the pros and cons of diagnosis would be useful.

Just my two cents... Im not saying that Aspergers can be medicated away... It seems that many go to a psychologist or psychiatrist presenting a problem.... "Do I have Asperger's?" The "doctor" examines him or her and says, "Yes... you have it. Are you feeling anxious, or worried, or sad?" And if you say "yes," then they will write you something to "try... and come back in two weeks, and we will see how you are feeling."


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08 Oct 2012, 5:51 pm

tall-p wrote:
balletnerd wrote:
I wasn't aware that Asperger's could be medicated away as such (it doesn't appear to be the received wisdom in the UK although someone correct me if I am wrong) - I'm just looking for some reasonable adjustments at my workplace which is why I feel I need the diagnosis.

I guess I overlooked the fact that different countries might treat this sort of thing differently, so perhaps a bit of prior reserach into the pros and cons of diagnosis would be useful.

Just my two cents... Im not saying that Aspergers can be medicated away... It seems that many go to a psychologist or psychiatrist presenting a problem.... "Do I have Asperger's?" The "doctor" examines him or her and says, "Yes... you have it. Are you feeling anxious, or worried, or sad?" And if you say "yes," then they will write you something to "try... and come back in two weeks, and we will see how you are feeling."


Yes.

That's called "therapy."

And, yes, I've been helped by it.


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muff
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08 Oct 2012, 7:44 pm

tall-p wrote:
balletnerd wrote:
I wasn't aware that Asperger's could be medicated away as such (it doesn't appear to be the received wisdom in the UK although someone correct me if I am wrong) - I'm just looking for some reasonable adjustments at my workplace which is why I feel I need the diagnosis.

I guess I overlooked the fact that different countries might treat this sort of thing differently, so perhaps a bit of prior reserach into the pros and cons of diagnosis would be useful.

Just my two cents... Im not saying that Aspergers can be medicated away... It seems that many go to a psychologist or psychiatrist presenting a problem.... "Do I have Asperger's?" The "doctor" examines him or her and says, "Yes... you have it. Are you feeling anxious, or worried, or sad?" And if you say "yes," then they will write you something to "try... and come back in two weeks, and we will see how you are feeling."


i find myself agreeing with this response. heh, 'i find myself.' thats funny.

but no, seriously. my psychiatrist said that i dont have it because i seem to care about people and have emotions. wow. stunning detective work. i believe that my therapist, who is supportive, is going to make a referral for diagnosis, but depending on how im doing when that day comes, i might just skip it.

what i have done is to start using some interventions that i read about in books and suggestions on this forum to see if i improve. some examples are: making a chore calendar for the week, making a structured list for food shopping according to which items i encounter first and shop while wearing sunglasses and headphones, and sleep with many heavy blankets (im going to get the weighted one when i can afford it).

these have worked. i fall asleep easier, i dont get overwhelmed while food shopping (i have had many an occasion when ive turned around and gone back home before entering) and im keeping up with my chores rather than walking from one room to the next.

would these interventions have helped me if i was not an aspie? sure, maybe. am i an aspie? who knows? sometimes i wonder if i use all of these interventions and i get to functioning better if my AS psych wouldnt say "you seem to be functioning quite well and therefore you are not impaired." so whatever.



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08 Oct 2012, 8:13 pm

antifeministfrills wrote:
amconfused wrote:
I know it is easier to get diagnosed, but i am from India and its really hard to find a good psychologist. And don't want to bother my parents with this.


Why don't you want to bother your parents? Their role is to take care of you.
I kind of get this--once you get older, your roles start to flip, and you want to take care of your parents. That's the normal way things go--you're young and they take care of you; then they're old and you take care of them. Adult children often think they are a "burden" if they ask their parents for help.

But if your parents care about you, I don't think they would be upset if you asked for help. You want to become a better person, to learn more about yourself. You want to find out if you have autism because answering that question will give you information that is important for solving some problems you are dealing with, like your social isolation and your problems with having conversations with people you don't share interests with.

It's okay to ask your parents for help. Really, it is. Learning about yourself will make you a better son, in the long run, because you will know about your weaknesses and learn to work around them.


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Davinel
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08 Oct 2012, 9:29 pm

Is it really that important to know if you have asperger or not?.. If you are a child - then yes, of course it is very important, but as an adult?

When I learned about asperger it was just.. interesting. I was like "wow, there are alot of people who behave like me, and they even got a name for it!". But it did not change who I am. Because at that point in my life I already learned how to live with myself.
If I don't have asperger, then duh, I am just some awkward, anxious, asocial NT.
If I have asperger - well.. then I guess I'm autistic. So what?..
Like i said - it change nothing. I am who I am.
I'd like to get official diagnosis but I'd don't hold my breath about it if I were you. Psychologists are just humans, like everyone else, they can make mistakes, and diagnosis of asperger isn't easy.

And, heh, finding good psychologist in Ukraine isn't much easier than in India...