I don't know what I need (long story)

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Ok so something new happened to day. I went to my consoler and they were asking me about school. I told her the nor I have difficulties in all my subjects except math and science. She thinks I have ADHD and might be getting me tested. I was talking about how I try my best to do well in those subjects and I can't do it. If it is not something I am interested in I either can't focus on it or forget it. My mom thinks I am just not paying attention but when my consoler said that I felt that finally someone got it. Here is how my mind works step by step. 

This is something that happened to me a few days ago

Step 1 someone says some think (ex) "I forgot to take the trash out"

Step 2 I think about me taking the trash out

Step 3 I remember the Garbage man once was smoking  marowana (sorry spelling is a issue for me and my iPod would even give me a suggestion for that)    

Step 4 I think of the person who was smoking that when we went to see the finally Harry potter movie. 

Step 5 I think of my mom reading me the books

Step 6 I think of my mom reading me some of my school history books

Step 7 I think about how much I hated my history classes

Step 8 I remember when I got an F on my report card and cried in class and this kid made fun of me. 

Step 9 I think about the bully from my bus who hit me then I hit him in the chest and pushed him down and ran home. 

Step 10 I think about when I finally beat my friend in mortal kombat. 

Step 11 I remember he introduced me to marvel vs capcom

Step 12 I remember okami hd is coming out and I stat out loud the I am excited for it to be released. 

At that point people are still talking about the trash and my mom says some annoying statement about my randomness. I sometimes forget people don't hear my mind. When my mom told me I need to stop being so random I told her one time that it isn't random my mind goes through a huge linked list. I also said I can trace it back. She was quite impressed. I told my consoler that and then I said when I am in a situation in which I can't focus on I lock out. But I am NOT doing it on porpoise. I told her my mom thinks I am being lazy. One time I studied for 4 hours really trying hard and my teacher the next day after I told her I studied she LAUGHED and said Hun just sit down I know yu didn't don't lie. I don't know why but when I am around thing I enjoy and am a 100% expert. I was doing senior work in my freshman year of high school and still couldn't spell words longer than 5 letters without help.  I can't read big words. When I know the words I am an amazing reader. My mom said since i can't be homeschooled why don't I go to public. I ignored her but told my consoler there is to much stimulation. Early in the morning (this may not be me it may be everyone to but) early in the morning no madder how early I go to be when I finally go to sleep and wake up if it is not 9 I don't think. During school even though my favorite class was second period it was like 7:30 and I was not able to focus even though I enjoy it. My history, English, reading, And spelling teachers all called me a slacker and said I admitted why I am doing terribly is because I am not enjoying it. My consoler told me that she was going ti talk to my mom about getting be a tutor. This is me last year

I go to school and usually get scolded for being late to class (either that or I skip my first period since I know I am late and want to hit my teacher)

Then I go to my next class I go into the bathroom and hide until the bell rings so I can stay calm and not get stressed to early about the crowd. That teacher knows of my autism and allows it and rights me a note to come late to my next class. 

I go there and it is art. I hate/like it. I hate it when I have a task to to a a certain amount of time to do it. I like it if it is free drawing and I can do what ever. 

I stay to help clean up and she thanks me and writes me a note to my next class. 

I go to english and now have this awful teacher. ( you should have to like kids to be a teacher) I sometimes skip that class and modified my art teachers note to make it look like that was my 4th period 

Next is science and I usually like it but can't focus since there is this bully who always smells like cigorets I front of me. I then rush out and run to lunch. But If I get caught up in a crowd I start to meltdown. 

Anyway you get the most of it. The reason I can't go there is I can't focus with the pen tapping the talking. 

Again I am not sure what this means but I am not being lazy I try my best and still most of the time fail and get scolded. I am sorry this was so long but I am angry at my mom right now since she is embarrassing me by talking about my D in spelling and then my brother comes and starts spelling the biggest words he can think of. Please tell me if I am not making cents and ask me about any holes since I cant think since I am happy it is the week end. Sorry this was long be please tell me what you think. Anyway good bye

I'd get tested for ADHD if it's free. I would also talk to the counselor about the problems you are having. I have ADHD (Dx'd when young, I also suspect AS now) and can relate to your thought patterns doing that, Whether it's an ADHD thing or an autistic thing I can't really say since I seem to have both. As to what to do...well...umm... I really don't know. You might want to see if you can get on medication for ADHD that will help you narrow your focus. I was on Adderall a few years back when I returned to college and it was like a miracle drug. For once, I finally did well in school. How this will interact with your particular neurology I can't really say though as you seem to have more autistic traits than I do and so it may react differently.

When my son was 5, his conversations used to be very similar to the way you describe your thoughts, It was like talking to a music player set to randomly skip through the songs in the playlist. I thought he would need some major speech therapy to learn to have a conversation.

When he got up to an effective dose of ADHD medication, suddenly he was not random at all. He could actually have a back and forth conversation on one topic. Might be worth a try.

I remember reading in a book about autism that autistic kids sometimes forget others don't read their thoughts (like you described) and they speak something out-loud completely unrelated to the topic at hand thinking (momentarily) that the person could follow their associative thinking, train of thought (which obviously they can't-because their thoughts are private). This is due to poor theory of mind (not thinking about what other people know or are thinking). It is related to autism and does not mean you're lazy. With ADHD people often say irrelevant things in a conversation (but it might be for other reasons). As for school your inattentiveness it could be due to ADHD or just autism executive dysfunction problems -you can't pay attention unless you're really interested or a learning disability perhaps. Getting assessed for ADHD is a good idea I think, and maybe be also for a specific learning disability in reading and spelling (certain aspects of language). Still it might all be related to your ASD- ASD's are pervasive like that. Either way from what you described I think you are definitely NOT just lazy,

I think the same way

I think you are making perfect sense.

Your thought process sounds a lot like mine. Although as I have gotten older, I seem to have been able to find ways to will myself to stop it when I have to. It takes a lot of effort, though, and my usual thinking is kind of like 5 different trains of thought happening at once and random bits jump to my conscious awareness at random times. But I very easily go off on a tangent.

Your thought process also sounds like my son's speech patterns before he started meds for his ADHD, so I think it could be helpful for you to get tested to see if they think you also have ADHD.

As a matter of fact, I came upstairs to change the cats' litter box, but a similar train of loosely associated thoughts landed me on the computer. It can be frustrating when it happens at inopportune times but never let anyone make you feel like you are lazy or not motivated. Your brain is not filtering "noise" and you are getting distracted by it. That is not your fault.