Aspie Grief-Lock

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Here's what happened:

My mother died 20 months ago.

I began to have the loss of functionality described here:

http://asdculture.wikispaces.com/Grief+and+ASD

(I'm so GRATEFUL for that site, so I at least knew what was happening to me!!)

My condition worsened slowly as the months passed.

I lost my ability to read anything more complex than an email, thus eliminating my only source of stress relief other than stimming (which, as in those old Camel ads, I'm doing more but enjoying less). Like most of us, I've tried every stress-reduction, relaxation, meditation, etc method ever conceived; no dice.

I've gotten steadily worse. Falling ever farther behind, making ever bigger mistakes. It's like my brain's just crumbling out from under me. My "Aspie symptoms" are getting more pronounced and difficult to work around.

I have a friend who's not only a shrink but an Aspie expert; she's at a loss as to how to help me... not her fault, the research simply doesn't exist yet, as with so many other aspects of our psychology. The other people in my life will listen politely to my attempts to discuss the problem, and then just as politely change the subject; maybe they think I'm going crazy and that if they ignore it it'll go away?

If there's anyone here who has gotten to this point, the loss of both functionality and the ability to reduce stress... is there anything you did that made it better, if only temporarily? And, the really scary questions: How bad did it eventually get? How long before it turned around? And............ did you get your full functioning back?

Thank you to anyone who's willing to share their story.

Last edited by S-P-M-E on 22 Oct 2012, 1:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

While I am not certain that I am on the spectrum, I can understand at least some of what you are going through. I had an alcoholic friend of mine live with me for nearly two years and the chaos he brought threw me into an almost constant state of anxiety. Even 7 months after he moved out, I am still unable to feel normal. I deal with anxiety almost constantly and it has become a real struggle to do simple things like mow my lawn or wash the dishes. I'm at the point that I admit I need professional help, but I have no insurance and my dislike of telephone calls to strangers keeps me from calling the local clinic to see if there is a program to help pay for getting me assistance. I wish I had help to offer you, but all i can say is that you are not alone.

I go through periods of confusion.

I posted this sometime ago: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp4277136.html#4277136

I dont know if this is it, but my cognition falters into the abyss. On its own it could take several weeks to a few days for a comeback.

I've noticed a stimulant can shock it back now.

The thread I started was in December and I have not had this since.

Stress is a killer.

I think my summary is wrong in my last post: it's ASD.

Your kindness DOES help; thank you for your reply!!

I have suffered through some major bouts of anxiety in the past, so I know what you're going through. Dr Oz recommends some non-prescription things for anxiety

http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/natural-calming-cures

that might be worth trying out. I hope you can get the help you need soon!!

Even under the best of circumstances, I can get muddled when I'm upset and overwhelmed. I suppose what I'm enduring now might even be just the king-sized version of that. In any case, I'm glad you've gone so long without it happening to you; maybe you've gotten your stress down to a manageable level?

It must be. This has been a gargantuan plague for me. I had these moments not really understanding why or what what was happening to me.


I manage it better through thinking about or rationalizing it away. At my last episode therein Dec. it was a stress related event.


One time I couldn't go it anymore and checked my self in to a Psych doc. He said I was a "wreck" and thought the imbalance was chemical and prescribed Zoloft. That did not work. I was 27 then.

My best take on it is seems to be ASD, and somehow a stimulant will jump the mind ( brain) forward.

I wouldn't expect Zoloft to alter ASD symptoms... as far as I know, no med does that, although some meds are given to try to reduce agitation, which is an emotional side effect for many of us. They're just so eager to medicate everything, and to believe that we're "sick" rather than just different.

Even my husband is that way (which as you might imagine is part of how my stress has gotten so crazy). The internet provides us with the ability to see every mental illness known to man and to read the symptoms of each one... and thus to show that MY symptoms are NOT evidence of mental illness. His solution to that is to believe that there is a "secret" mental illness that all doctors know about but that has never been written about anywhere, and that there is also a "secret" med that can be given for this secret illness that will, in effect, cure Asperger's. I wish I was kidding. {sigh}

Well, Misses, I think you've hit the pay dirt here at WP. How many years have you quested for this knowledge? Since 18 for me.

I've noticed a couple of members have posted as "no symptoms of Asperger's Syn." and then Bam they are Mr Hyde / Dr Jekyll. Obviously they have "it" but I'm guessing they intellectualize their everyday life as usual ( vs intuition); but stress comes their way, or maybe they hit on stress but they do not know where or what it exactly is. I'd expect a trigger. Even Bipolar, BPD needs a trigger to cycle.

I'd expect low brain metabolism is at the root of this. I'd expect stress hormones and a tiring out from these hormones. They wear on you. To compound it there is less of an information highway in AS. The roads get clogged easily enough as it is. The wear from stressors will slow the brain and that is exactly what you see here - a slow brain. Now how do we make a fast brain? The stress is gone but why is the brain still idling along now? It may be that it needs a hit on the side like you used to do slapping a TV on the side to adjust the crazy picture.

A cognitive slap via a cognitive booster is the likely elixir.

Slow brain... that's ME. I hope someone who has overcome this will feel able to share what they went through.

Here's something about these "inconsistent" swings. http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp4369329.html#4369329

There's another member posted about the same but you get the idea.

From a 'normal' state to a cognitive dysfunctional mental state. Just as niles outlined & highlighted: it's unpredictable.

I agree with Expecially on claiming to have AS - it's not robust enough for a Dx in my case. The non-verbal aspect is there but it's subtle. If I'm tired I miss it.

Is it a comorbid or is it borderline AS? Frustrating as all get out to know.

I don't have those sorts of swings; that's one thing to be grateful for, I guess.

There's nothing worse than not knowing what's going on in your head and why, whatever the reason. I hope you find the right doctor or shrink who can help you get some better answers.