Sound Sensitivity: Why should I get used to it?

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hartzofspace
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24 Oct 2012, 12:09 pm

I have misophonia. I can totally relate to the OP. I have been kept awake at night by someone's breathing - not even snoring, just breathing. I have learned to use earplugs, but certain low frequency sounds come right through and drive me crazy. In my neighborhood there are city trucks that travel right past my house at dawn, and the low rumbling motor noises penetrate my earplugs and destroy my sleep. It sounds a lot like bassy stereo sounds which make me go ballistic. Once I was traveling cross country on a bus and this woman in the seat behind me kept making this little moist sound with her mouth. It drove me crazy and I couldn't read or sleep because I was so aware of it. So yes, I understand.


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24 Oct 2012, 1:08 pm

Ilka wrote:
Aspiegaming wrote:
That's a nice suggestion but I've already tried that years ago. It doesn't work. My hearing is too sharp. Sound can still hurt me no matter what even if I do wear earplugs. All I can do is wish I could go completely deaf someday but then I'd have to give up listening to music. Besides, I could never shove those little f***ers in my ears far enough. If I go deaf, then I can use a hearing aide which I can switch off at any time.


Could you try using those noise-cancelling headphones while listening to soft music, like classic music? That´s what my husband uses when there is too much noise and he needs to concentrate in his work. The ones that cover the entire ear are the best for him. http://reviews.cnet.com/best-noise-canc ... eadphones/


Sound proof headphones? I've heard of those but I don't know where I can get any. Sounds cool. Block out outside noise and listen to Rock and Videogame music. The music part will only be possible when I'm near a computer because I don't have an iPod nor an MP3 anymore.


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24 Oct 2012, 1:23 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
I have misophonia. I can totally relate to the OP. I have been kept awake at night by someone's breathing - not even snoring, just breathing. I have learned to use earplugs, but certain low frequency sounds come right through and drive me crazy. In my neighborhood there are city trucks that travel right past my house at dawn, and the low rumbling motor noises penetrate my earplugs and destroy my sleep. It sounds a lot like bassy stereo sounds which make me go ballistic. Once I was traveling cross country on a bus and this woman in the seat behind me kept making this little moist sound with her mouth. It drove me crazy and I couldn't read or sleep because I was so aware of it. So yes, I understand.


Moist Sound with her mouth? Yeah, that is lip smacking. Let me tell you. I have met people specifically teachers who lip smacked every F***ING time they started a new sentence. It's hard to pay attention in a classroom when they do that during a lecture. I don't want to miss the lecture but I don't want to hear lip smacking in the progress. I once knew a teacher who lip smacked saying a word that begins with the letter N at the very start of a sentence. I'm like "OH, COME ON!! !" Like people say, these people don't even know that they're doing it. The people I met were exactly like that AND they didn't even know what it was. I'm like "Are you KIDDING ME?!?!"


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24 Oct 2012, 1:34 pm

I absolutely loathe it when people yawn really loudly, as a stupid habit. My brother does, and it drives me insane. If he's sitting in a room with other people, every few minutes or so he'd yawn and make a loud unnecessary roar with it. There is no need for the extra noise though, because yawning needn't make a sound, but he does it so loudly that it actually makes me jump. Also men are more annoying doing it because they have a deep voice so the unnecessary sound that they make when yawning comes out at a tone what my ears don't like, and I feel like jumping up and hitting him. It seems nobody else takes any notice when he does it, as though it is an acceptable sound, like coughing or sneezing. But if I was to make a loud sound when yawning (especially every couple of minutes) I bet that would annoy people. Other sounds I make annoy people, like when my laugh accidentally comes out loud, but I'd rather somebody accidentally letting out a loud laugh than doing a loud yawn right in your ear every 2 or so minutes.

I hate it when people do such long yawns and keep making noises. Like *yawn starts* oohhh, oohh dear.... *5 second later, still yawning* uuuuuhhhhh oh ooohhhh dear *yawn loudly ends*. Ohh, can that be any more annoying????! !! !! !! !! ! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:


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24 Oct 2012, 1:35 pm

kotshka wrote:
It is unreasonable for someone to expect you to "get used to" something you are simply incapable of getting used to.

On the other hand, it's equally unreasonable to expect the whole world to adapt to your highly unusual need.


Came to say this.



hartzofspace
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24 Oct 2012, 3:20 pm

Aspiegaming wrote:
hartzofspace wrote:
I have misophonia. I can totally relate to the OP. I have been kept awake at night by someone's breathing - not even snoring, just breathing. I have learned to use earplugs, but certain low frequency sounds come right through and drive me crazy. In my neighborhood there are city trucks that travel right past my house at dawn, and the low rumbling motor noises penetrate my earplugs and destroy my sleep. It sounds a lot like bassy stereo sounds which make me go ballistic. Once I was traveling cross country on a bus and this woman in the seat behind me kept making this little moist sound with her mouth. It drove me crazy and I couldn't read or sleep because I was so aware of it. So yes, I understand.


Moist Sound with her mouth? Yeah, that is lip smacking. Let me tell you. I have met people specifically teachers who lip smacked every F***ING time they started a new sentence. It's hard to pay attention in a classroom when they do that during a lecture. I don't want to miss the lecture but I don't want to hear lip smacking in the progress. I once knew a teacher who lip smacked saying a word that begins with the letter N at the very start of a sentence. I'm like "OH, COME ON!! !" Like people say, these people don't even know that they're doing it. The people I met were exactly like that AND they didn't even know what it was. I'm like "Are you KIDDING ME?!?!"

There are certain actresses that sound kind of disgusting when they speak, almost as if they need a glass of water. So each word is preceded by this sticky sound. I hate that!


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24 Oct 2012, 4:27 pm

Maybe some subconscious psychological issue is at play with misophonia?

I used to be extremely put off by the sound of a spoon hitting a bowl. It had to do with my mother eating cereal with milk, which absolutely grossed me out, and still does, and I think there's only about a 1% chance I will EVER eat cereal with milk. But the negative emotional reaction to that sound has lessened with time, as I got more emotional reassurance that just because someone is eating it doesn't mean they will ever try to make ME eat (or even handle) it!

On the other hand, I'm much MORE sensitive to people talking while I'm trying to sleep or study than in childhood! I think the psychological issue there is fear of missing out, or having rubbed in my face something everyone but me seems to have - namely, the ability to happily converse with people whenever they please, and go no more than a year without a boyfriend/girlfriend, EVER. At least I'm realizing now that my lack of love has more to do with having not yet found the right woman (within a reasonable distance) yet than not being "able to get girls."


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Ilka
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25 Oct 2012, 9:58 am

Aspiegaming wrote:
Sound proof headphones? I've heard of those but I don't know where I can get any. Sounds cool. Block out outside noise and listen to Rock and Videogame music. The music part will only be possible when I'm near a computer because I don't have an iPod nor an MP3 anymore.


Click on the link I sent you. I think you can buy most of the noise cancelling headphones on-line via Amazon. I do not have my iPod anymore, either. My 12 years-old Aspie daughter let if fall in the toilet (while on) and the motherboard just fried. :( But I still have my iPhone :)



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25 Oct 2012, 5:10 pm

kotshka wrote:
It is unreasonable for someone to expect you to "get used to" something you are simply incapable of getting used to. It's like asking someone to "get used to" waterboarding or electric shock treatment. I also have a high sensitivity to certain sounds, so I sympathize.

On the other hand, it's equally unreasonable to expect the whole world to adapt to your highly unusual need. There's genuinely no way they can understand what you go through, no matter how well you try to explain, and asking people to stop making noise is simply impossible. Human beings make noise, most of the time without even realizing it. They're no more able to change that than you are able to get used to it.

You just can't expect people to understand something just because you tell them it's true. Imagine someone told you they were allergic to the letter W and you must absolutely not use that letter in their presence or they will suffer extreme (but completely invisible) discomfort. Even if you believed this incredible claim (and let's be honest, most people wouldn't), how exactly would you go about removing the letter W from your vocabulary? It's far too much to ask of anyone, and really it makes more sense for the person with the "allergy" to try to find a way to protect themselves than to expect the whole world to change their entire lives.

It may not seem like you're asking that much of them, but that is how it feels from their point of view. Remember, they're also only human and no one likes being told they have to change something intrinsic to their behavior just to accommodate something they've never even heard of. So imagine the allergic person was aware that it's not the rest of the world's fault they suffer this way and did their best to protect their ears from the letter, but also - politely - asked others from time to time to be more careful because they were in a lot of pain. That's a person you can deal with despite their disability. You would try to reduce your W use within reason, though you wouldn't be able to eliminate it completely. On the other hand, imagine this person is angry at the world for having invented the letter W to begin with and expects you to completely remove the letter from your vocabulary whenever they are present or else consider you personally responsible for their suffering. That's not someone you're likely to try to accommodate.

It's a rough situation and hardly fair, but then life rarely is. If you absolutely cannot get used to noise-cancelling headphones (my personal solution - I've managed to find some very comfortable ones that don't bother me), the only other thing I can think of would be some sort of medication, perhaps an anti-anxiety like Diazepam, that makes those sounds less painful to hear (but not without side effects). I'm really sorry you're suffering so much, but as frustrated as you must feel, you can't blame others for your own disability. If they're being jerks about it, that's not cool, but then again you can't really stop people from being jerks.

^This. Totally, completely this.


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25 Oct 2012, 7:15 pm

This might sounds bad but today I had a similar situation where I felt the only reasonable situation would be to cleave their heads off, but I didn't, I never do, oh well. :roll:



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25 Oct 2012, 7:39 pm

I got back from a stressful college class that night and stopped off at a nearby Sheetz to pick up some ice cream for my dad. My parents told me that man never knew who I was so maybe he didn't know that sound bothered me. I'm not so sure about that. As a former victim of bullying, I have a right to keep my guard up at all times. People tell me I should stop dwelling on the past. I only do that to prevent the past from happening again in the future. Did you ever know that history has a funny way of repeating itself? I would love nothing more than to lower my guard in public but I just can't. The guy who made those tsk sounds looked maybe a couple years older than me. When I was being bullied from middle school to high school, I had all sorts of enemies younger and older than me. That guy could have been one of those kids all grown up, saw me in public, and decided to make fun of me again for old times' sake (I knew people never change!!) OR he could have been one of those people from the gossip effect. Word spreads around included with a picture of me taken when I wasn't looking and passed on to everyone. No matter which theory is possible true, I will continue to believe either one no matter what anyone else says otherwise.



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25 Oct 2012, 8:52 pm

As much as sound can annoy me, even hurt me, people around me don't know it can or when they know it can don't understand why. I think instead of 'deal with it' they mean 'ignore it.'

If you were to get in a fight with someone who did something they didn't know annoyed you, how do you think that would turn out? And what would they think of you?

I know you probably weren't being serious when you said you'd want to hurt someone but I've seen in the news people being killed for essentially annoying a person over things as trivial as this. And yes it is trivial when it comes to murder. Again, I don't think you meant it but that's how I interpret it.

I have no choice but listen to music when I go outside because my sensitivity to sound is that bad.


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25 Oct 2012, 8:57 pm

Aspiegaming wrote:
I got back from a stressful college class that night and stopped off at a nearby Sheetz to pick up some ice cream for my dad. My parents told me that man never knew who I was so maybe he didn't know that sound bothered me. I'm not so sure about that. As a former victim of bullying, I have a right to keep my guard up at all times. People tell me I should stop dwelling on the past. I only do that to prevent the past from happening again in the future. Did you ever know that history has a funny way of repeating itself? I would love nothing more than to lower my guard in public but I just can't. The guy who made those tsk sounds looked maybe a couple years older than me. When I was being bullied from middle school to high school, I had all sorts of enemies younger and older than me. That guy could have been one of those kids all grown up, saw me in public, and decided to make fun of me again for old times' sake (I knew people never change!!) OR he could have been one of those people from the gossip effect. Word spreads around included with a picture of me taken when I wasn't looking and passed on to everyone. No matter which theory is possible true, I will continue to believe either one no matter what anyone else says otherwise.

I think like this too sometimes. But I know it's anxiety. Starting fights with strangers is just going to make you look like a crazy person. And believe me I get so scared I feel like I could hurt people, who may be essentially innocent, and that makes me even more afraid. The uncertainty.


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25 Oct 2012, 9:18 pm

Aspiegaming wrote:
I was in a public parking lot getting back to the car and some guy walking to the car next to ours is going tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk... I almost started a fight with that guy and my parents yell at me saying I should get used to it. WHY?!?!


You need to pick your battles. What good would it do to fight the guy, especially when you were getting into a car to drive away? Maybe you shouldn't get used to everything, but you live in this world and there are a lot of sounds in it. You need to accept this. If going out is too difficult, perhaps you should invest in some earphones to cut out the sound around you.

Now think about this the other way: what if someone wanted to start a fight with you because of a stim you do? How would you feel about that?


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25 Oct 2012, 9:29 pm

i don't think a person with sound sensitivities can simply get used to sounds they cannot tolerate, just as a person who is sensitive to pain cannot get used to being smacked in the face repeatedly.



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25 Oct 2012, 9:37 pm

You don't just ignore it and expect other people to work around you, you figure something out. It might be earplugs. It might be headphones and music. It might be a therapeutic listening program with an occupational therapist. It might be avoiding situations you know are going to be particularly problematic. It might be

And then you also ask others to help and not cause so much of a problem for you, explain what is so painful, and do it in a way that educates.

When you're getting accommodations there's a reason they need to be reasonable accommodations. It's not reasonable to expect people to never eat or speak. It is reasonable to listen to music always. It is people to ask people to be more careful knowing that they will not be perfect, they do have needs that conflict with yours and your needs will not always be the most important.

Yes, sensory issues are serious. No, you can't expect it to be easy. No, you can't expect others to do it for you.

My life is dealing with sensory issues. I have severe sensory issues. I have severe comorbid sensory processing disorder, have been deemed unemployable by vocational rehab because of my sensory processing even not looking at the rest of my disability, am missing independent living skills because of my sensory sensitivities (and others for other reasons), am drastically limited in where I can go and what I can do. I am fully aware of how serious and limiting they can be and how hard it can be to find a solution for a problem.

That does not mean that other people will or should avoid all of your sensory triggers always in most cases. (There are some cases where they should I feel, but that would be because said things should be avoided period, not because an individual having a sensory reaction.) It means that you should make it clear to people who you are around regularly that this is a problem for you, explain it clearly, precisely, and non-accusatory, and make it clear what you want from them. I do know places of work that won't allow perfume. I do know schools that won't allow tunafish for sensory reasons unless its kept far enough away from a specific student. Music is sometimes monitored for sensory reasons if explained well enough. Mouth noises is harder to get across to people, but you can possibly manage it still. However, this will only possibly help with people you are regularly around.

Next step after that, or if you just skip that, is your own avoidance. Eat meals away from people. Time trips out at times that fewer people are around. Keep logs of when things are more or less problematic if you need to. Go ahead and avoid as completely as you can, don't let people disallow you from it. Grocery shopping at 2 am is great for sensory avoidance if you can.

After that, you get into the things like earplugs. Yes, you said you can't do it. What's the problem with it. There are more than one type of earplug. Try music. Try noise isolating earbuds. Try over the ear headphones, or things that just block noise.

Not blocking out all the noise doesn't mean earplugs aren't working. It means they're not doing everything. It means they aren't enough to solve the problem completely. It doesn't mean they're not necessarily helping. Don't say that not getting rid of it isn't helping. Make sure you don't only look for complete solutions. You won't find complete solutions always. The goal here isn't finding complete solutions, its finding the best you can do.

When you're doing earplugs and stuff, its also worth taking into account that you are playing a balancing act here - balancing whether the frustrations of wearing them are worth the benefits. In my case I carry them with me always but rarely wear them even though I'm quite sound sensitive because my touch sensitivity in my ears is so high and it itches too bad to wear them. But when I need them I wear them because the balance says need to now. I only can wear some types and not others too. And well, they don't block as much sound as I wish, but you can tell they help.

Occupational therapy. I've not started the therapeutic listening program yet, but I'm planning on doing it. It should help with my hypersensitive hearing. I don't have misophonia, but I do have general hypersensitive hearing, and it should help with that. Occupational therapy as a whole has been a huge help to me already though. It is something that depending on the type of things you're dealing with and what your resources are financially its worth looking into. In my case its the difference between functioning at all and not. Occupational therapy is not exposure therapy.

Dealing with other sensory issues. If this isn't your only sensory issue. Deal with the other ones, even if they're more minor. It should help.

Dealing with anxiety. Straightforward.