Do you get agitated when strangers stand in your space?
I can't bear this. Each time I go into a shop and look at something, whether the shop is big, small, busy or quiet, someone always comes up from behind me, hovers about behind me, then suddenly reaches an arm across right in my face to get the item that's just exactly in line to where I'm standing. I know people have got to do what they came into the shop to do, but it still doesn't stop me from feeling irritated with people.
I cannot concentrate when I'm trying to look for something in a shop and there's people hovering about in my space wanting to look exactly where I am. I get all agitated and also distracted, and when I'm distracted I look like I'm no longer looking for the item I wanted, so people then think ''oh she's not looking for anything, she's just standing about in the way'', and then they push right in front of me and I can't look for what I wanted. Or sometimes I walk away in a huff, which sometimes draws attention but I do it on purpose to make them think ''oh God I was annoying her''.
It must just be me or part of my AS/social anxiety to feel like this with people in shops and to not want any strangers in my personal space, because people assume I won't be bothered by them hovering in my space and I see other people looking relaxed and not distracted or annoyed when people are in their space. Does anyone else here feel like this in shops? Do you hate strangers invading your personal space?
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Female
I could go on and on about this. I can't think when other people are standing around me. If they are walking by, then it is not a problem. I have problems finding the product on the shelves or they don't have specifically what I am looking for so I have to stand there and figure it out. I feel I am annoying the people and I am standing where they want to get their product. So I go walk around the store and come back but frequently there are people (like me?) standing there. Now they are blocking where I need to look. I feel that if I just get my product they are alright with that. I don't feel comfortable standing next to them and not doing anything, just looking. I, too, have walked away in a huff, just so frustrated.
There is a "curb your enthusiasm" (American comedy) episode about the main character trying to get a pint of chubby hubby ice cream while 2 people are talking in front of the freezer.
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Impermanence.
daydreamer84
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I’ll say I can’t stand anyone being in my space, not even a loved one. When someone is in my space I can’t think or act on what it is I need to do and it cause me anxiety and agitation.
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"The law is what we live with; justice is sometimes harder to achieve." Sherlock Holmes
I remember back in my university days we only had 10 computer labs (with about 30 computers in each) on the entire campus so they were always full after 10am. I remember a few times getting there early just as the labs open for some peace and quiet and without fail, even thought I would be sitting in a random terminal near the back another student would come back and sit RIGHT NEXT TO ME. They were always students from the Middle East so maybe it is more accepted there but that doesn't change the fact it drove me absolutely crazy! They would never look at or talk to me which made it even more annoying. Find another $@%$@#%^ computer and get out of my personal space.
I also noticed this at the theatres when I would go alone to a late show on Saturday night. A person (always of Middle Eastern decent) would sit right next to me even though the theatre is 10% full at most. Again, I wouldn't mind half as much if they just said "hi".
I agree. I can't stand it when people just shove their way into my personal space or right over me to get at something in a store. I want to yell at them "don't you see me?! I'm a person you know!!" I can't handle such disrespect.
But I have to say I used to like it when people would sit down next to me in a computer lab. I was considered a freak for so long and constantly anxious over what might be wrong with me at any given moment that someone sitting next to me was reassurance that I wasn't so bad after all.
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Aspie: 166/200
NT: 57/200
AQ: 41/50
I experience the same, too. I even get annoyed by the unexpected emergence of someone into the isle of the supermarket or of a library. Although I know it's not their fault, the bad timing of their coming into my sight really makes me angry with that person. Of course I don't show it. If they come into my personal space, it's even worse. I feel they should wait until I finish rather than invading my personal space. Then how could I expect them to wait when I'm being indecisive and spend 5 minutes at one place?Sometimes the opposite happens. I want to look at a shelf for something, but at the exact spot where I would like to stand and see the shelf, there is someone. It annoys me, too. I usually wait until the place is clear. I know it's not anyone's fault, but it still irritates me a lot.
I normally only find it annoying when people bump into me, as people sometimes do when there's barely enough space to get past me (for example in the supermarket). I'd rather they just said 'excuse me' or something. Though people standing close to me (but not bumping into me) for prolonged periods of time can be annoying as well.
Some related issues are:
-When I'm wearing a backpack (which is usually quite full and takes up space) and people think it's okay to walk into it causing my whole body to turn.
-When queueing up and the person behind me stands too close and ends up bumping into me often. I sometimes just feel the urge to back into them on purpose to make a point. I also make a point of leaving a larger than average gap between myself and the person in front.
-When on the bus and people sit next to me (this is minor and only really an issue when there's other seats available, it's more of an issue when I have to push them out of the way to get off)
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A smile costs nothing

Well today I didn't get on too well in the supermarket. I had to go into the supermarket today to get some bits for my friend because she's not very well at the moment, which I didn't mind and I offered too, but it didn't matter where I stood, some dickhead crept up into my space and stood right there in the exact place I was trying to look. I needed to concentrate harder because I was getting shopping for someone else, and I had a list handy.
When I was at the bread section I was trying hard to read what it said on each loaf, whilst trying to block the sound of somebody's kid wailing, and then some woman came right up to me and literally stood right there so that her bag was right against my leg, and I stepped away a little because I thought she needed to get to where I was standing. She looked at me and gave a little smile and carried on looking, then I felt like I was being a grouchy cow, so I just carried on looking, trying to keep cool on the outside although inside I was thinking ''f**k off you ugly b***h!'' Although it is not very nice but I suppose it was better said in my head than out loud.
At the chocolate section was worse. There was special offers there, like 3 for a pound offers, and I was trying to concentrate on what I wanted and so on. But there was one of those horrible gobby women there with about 3 brats all under the age of 3, all demanding and being naughty and whining around my feet, then about 2 other women with big trolleys stood round me too, blocking my way, so I literally pushed through them, probably drawing attention to myself a little, and I walked around the shop and came back a few minutes later and they had all gone. I'm sorry to be a little harsh but I just could not concentrate with all these horribly kids around me and snotty old women pushing up against me with their trolleys, I just had to get away.
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whirlingmind
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I cannot concentrate when I'm trying to look for something in a shop and there's people hovering about in my space wanting to look exactly where I am. I get all agitated and also distracted, and when I'm distracted I look like I'm no longer looking for the item I wanted, so people then think ''oh she's not looking for anything, she's just standing about in the way'', and then they push right in front of me and I can't look for what I wanted. Or sometimes I walk away in a huff, which sometimes draws attention but I do it on purpose to make them think ''oh God I was annoying her''.
It must just be me or part of my AS/social anxiety to feel like this with people in shops and to not want any strangers in my personal space, because people assume I won't be bothered by them hovering in my space and I see other people looking relaxed and not distracted or annoyed when people are in their space. Does anyone else here feel like this in shops? Do you hate strangers invading your personal space?
It's unbearable for me. I start to rage inside. And I cannot bear lack of manners and rudeness in people. What you described about people reaching across in front of my face, drives me crazy. Have they not heard of the term "Excuse me" FFS. And because I do have manners, when I say excuse me, people look at me as if I have done something wrong. Perhaps they are so rude they can't remember what politeness sounds like and it gives them a shock.
I stepped backwards in a shop the other day, and I accidentally bumped into a lady who was walking past with her friend. I said "oh I'm sorry!" and they walked off laughing, clearly at me. Effing weirdos.
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*Truth fears no trial*
DX AS & both daughters on the autistic spectrum
I also noticed this at the theatres when I would go alone to a late show on Saturday night. A person (always of Middle Eastern decent) would sit right next to me even though the theatre is 10% full at most. Again, I wouldn't mind half as much if they just said "hi".
SO recognizable
I cannot concentrate when I'm trying to look for something in a shop and there's people hovering about in my space wanting to look exactly where I am. I get all agitated and also distracted, and when I'm distracted I look like I'm no longer looking for the item I wanted, so people then think ''oh she's not looking for anything, she's just standing about in the way'', and then they push right in front of me and I can't look for what I wanted. Or sometimes I walk away in a huff, which sometimes draws attention but I do it on purpose to make them think ''oh God I was annoying her''.
It must just be me or part of my AS/social anxiety to feel like this with people in shops and to not want any strangers in my personal space, because people assume I won't be bothered by them hovering in my space and I see other people looking relaxed and not distracted or annoyed when people are in their space. Does anyone else here feel like this in shops? Do you hate strangers invading your personal space?
It's unbearable for me. I start to rage inside. And I cannot bear lack of manners and rudeness in people. What you described about people reaching across in front of my face, drives me crazy. Have they not heard of the term "Excuse me" FFS. And because I do have manners, when I say excuse me, people look at me as if I have done something wrong. Perhaps they are so rude they can't remember what politeness sounds like and it gives them a shock.
I stepped backwards in a shop the other day, and I accidentally bumped into a lady who was walking past with her friend. I said "oh I'm sorry!" and they walked off laughing, clearly at me. Effing weirdos.
That is weird. I'd thought NTs would know better to say ''excuse me'' and stuff like that because it's manners, which is linked to social cues. Admittedly if I say ''excuse me'', people do move out of the way without reacting harshly.
Sometimes when somebody's in my space, I pretend I haven't seen them and I step back on to them and go, ''oh, sorry'' so that it doesn't look like I done it on purpose. Some people have laughed amongst themselves because it made me look clumsy, and others have said, ''sorry'' back. I think men can be more polite than women, funnily enough. OK that is generalizing a bit too much but I'm just saying that if I went into a shop and counted how many people have irritated me by getting in my way or being rude, I bet it'd be more women than men.
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Female
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