Am I Wrong For Believing This?

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I believe that respect is earned, not given automatically. Regardless of your social status, wealth, political authority, job title, etc. I do not believe in giving respect simply because someone demands it. You have to first show me that you see me as a fellow human being who has feelings, is not simply a robot who is there for you to knock around.

My beliefs are directly at odds with my job. I work in retail, where management (figuratively) demands you hand over your shirt for the customer to wipe his ass with if he should ask. I believe customers need to step down off the high horse and realize that there are other customers besides him who are waiting to/are being served. Money holds no sway with me. I dont give a fig if you're "rich enough to buy my house out from under me", if you're not showing me any respect, I have no motivation to show you any.

I find it highly disrespectful for a manager to tell an employee he did something wrong while the employee is with a customer. I find it disrespectful for a customer to barge through a line of other customers to "ask a quick question" especially when others are in line to do just that. I find it even more disrespectful for a customer to ask me to "work on the rusty GMC later, i want new tires on my BMW now".

Am I wrong for believing that respect is a two way street? Should I have to stand there and take constant verbal abuse and then thank the customer for it? Am I wrong for wanting more out of life than to be treated worse than a stray dog?

It's not wrong for you to believe it, but based solely on that belief, you're in the wrong line of work. Unless you change that, you'll have to put up with that old adage "the customer is always right"!

God bless you for having that attitude. I am (figuratively) the customer with the rusty GMC and I have been ignored while people wait on the "real" customers who came in after I did.

When I was in retail, I paid as much attention to the customer who only spent $5 as to the ones who spent $100. And even if the customer didn't buy anything, they left smiling and happy with their service. I treated everybody as if they were a friend of the owner. Even the jerks who came strolling up demanding 20% off because they were friends of the owner (like I could tell by looking at them).

unfortunately management in this company does pay more attention to the larger customers. Example: People who purchase lifetime packages like tire rotations and alignments are treated as secondary when they come in to use those services. I disagree with that because, they have already paid for the service, they just arent using it right away. Ive seen those appointments bumped so that other work can be done. I have a snow tire changeover package that i paid for back in march when i bought new all season tires. They made me feel so guilty for using my winter changeover, even though I paid the extra 50 bucks back in march.


And to AProudHillbilly whoever came up with "a customer is always right" should be cursed with a lifetime of uncontrollable violent diarrhea.

My respect must be earned.

So must my contempt.

It all depends on how you treat me and others.

Couldn't of said it better. and it is very much easier to earn my contempt than respect, especially if a person is obfuscating stupidity.

i tend to try respecting everyone as equals unless or until proved otherwise. that goes for people who do extraordinary things which i respect them more for having accomplished, or for people who do things which i disrespect them for. otherwise, to me, we are all deserving the honor and respect of being humans. i have learned in my lifetime, that upon first meeting, or sometimes many meetings, one may not be aware of or be able to presume that someone has not gone through experiences that could, or likely, would change my initial perceptions of them.
a crumpled looking cranky old man might have been a war hero. a well dressed business man might be a real schmuck. but until i know, they are all people, to me.

It was coined solely for the purpose of beating one's competition and making money.

If the customer is always right then I am:

-An Idiot
-An f***ing Idiot
-Worthless
-Useless
-Full of crap
-Full of s***
-Taking a job that someone smart could have
-a Slave
-Wrong
-Should be fired
-Retarded

Mind you these are all from the last 90 days. Not exactly a morale booster. I now dread going to work every day, but i lack the skills and the ability to gain skills to get anything better.

Back in high school I took the ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery). The results showed no match for a military profession and the best match for a civilian profession is retail.

A man can only be beaten down so much before he breaks

I agree with this 100%. You are not wrong at all, my friend. Respect IS to be earned. At first, everybody is deserving of at least a little initial respect. I mean, if we all treated each other like a**holes upon first meeting each other, we'd all hate each other and never get s**t done... But once you extend that bit of respect, if they come back with BS, then you have every right to be disrespectful right back to them. I try to live by the golden rule: Treat others how you wish to be treated.

One of the most salient traits of Autism is to arrive somewhere new and expect the music to automatically change to suit their dancing style. If you don't like the music they're playing at that workplace, and especially if you're not planning on becoming proficient at their dance and forget yours from 9 to 5, no need to quit - they'll fire you soon enough.

You're paid to dance to the given music at your workplace, whichever that is. You're expected to have thought about it long and hard after the interview to conclude if you were able and resolute to dance to their music.

I'm in high level Customer Service, Sales. I'm also a person who loathes materialism, hierarchies based on amount of money, injustice and inequality. Especially I hate dealing with money, counting money and making calculated political moves. I'm extremely careful to portray the opposite while I'm in the office. I just chose it over living in the streets, my personal preference, that's all.

That said, no one can put up with the horrible kind of abuse you describe. If your colleagues aren't putting up with similar treatment, it means you're doing very badly there, it's not your thing and it's extremely obvious. You have to run from there and fast. A job as horrible as that one will be easy to find anyway, should you regret leaving.

Everything I say is my own insight and lessons I learned from my own experience in the workforce.

Two possibilities:

1. That statement is true ---> you're low-functioning Autistic and can live only on welfare (social security benefits).

2. That statement is not true ----> You haven't yet considered all your options thoroughly enough, and maybe require an outside expert to help you discover the one thing or two that you can build upon to find a more suitable field of work. Eg. you might find that you could make a good cook assistant or library assistant.

Paid to "dance" yes. But when their form of dance is simply kicking someone in the balls all day long, that aint right. I dont expect them to change the music just for me.

I agreed to help customers with their automotive needs, i did not agree to be a verbal punching bag. People say i cant handle retail. I can handle retail just fine, what i cant handle is people who treat their dog's feces better than me.

The fact also stands that employment laws in the US protect workers from hostile environments, even at the hands of customers. I believe every employee has the right to refuse (on lawful, non-discriminatory grounds) to serve people who are hostile to them. I have yet to come across an employer that respects the rights of their employees. I once had a boss make me apologize to customers for being slow on the register because another customer was paying with WIC checks and could not understand the program, or the english language.

I do believe in benefit of the doubt. I should clarify my original statement to be: I wll afford a nominal level of respect to anyone, until they give me a reason not to. In many cases, as soon as the person opens their mouth, i have lost all respect for them and they become an enemy.

Drive up to a bay door and honk your horn? Nope, my respect is gone. You come inside for service like everyone else.

If you ask me to change your wiper blades during a hurricane and comment that "its really coming down" you have just told me that you view me as a lesser person. Which i HATE with a VENGENCE There is no faster way to boil my blood.

OP, I don't think you're actually forcing people to "earn respect". You're withholding respect if the person shows they don't deserve it.

Think of this situation: An average person talks to you in an average way. It's absolutely bland, nothing remarkable about the interaction at all. Do you respect them because they're a human being? I'm gonna guess the answer is yes--they've not given you any reason to think they aren't a decent individual, and you'd feel bad about yourself if you looked down on them without any provocation.

By default, we ought to respect each other. But we have every right not to respect those who show they're not worthy of it.