Constantly make people mad without intending to

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justanothermonkey
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01 Nov 2012, 5:14 am

....and people jump on me about my email voice, especially, all the frigging time.


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antifeministfrills
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01 Nov 2012, 5:29 am

InThisTogether wrote:
You are asking for honest feedback, so I will give you some. I think that the crux of your issues might be portrayed in your following statement:

Quote:
I've noted that people are offended easily and when they feel offended they proceed to do one of two things: 1) Cut off all contact with said person who supposedly "offended" them, or 2) Respond with insult and casually make the whole incident that follows your fault, even though it was their misunderstanding to begin with, and their insults that kept it going.


You don't get to determine what "offends" other people. Each of us, as individuals, determines what we find offensive. When you offend someone, turning it around to blame the offense on them "even though it was their misunderstanding to begin with" will almost always result in others becoming angry with you.

When you find you have offended someone, the safest response is an apology--without an attached litany of excuses and explanations, then tuck the fact that they are offended by whatever it was into your memory banks and try not to repeat the offense in the future.

There is your honest feedback. Take from it what you will.


That person isn't the OP?



justanothermonkey
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01 Nov 2012, 5:33 am

OP = impulse343
Person getting loads of probably unwanted advice = Jaden


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Jaden
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01 Nov 2012, 5:59 am

justanothermonkey wrote:
OP = impulse343
Person getting loads of probably unwanted advice = Jaden


lol I didn't really think much about it, I just figured they were just sayin cause I mentioned that no-one had willingly given feedback to me lol.


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League_Girl
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01 Nov 2012, 12:48 pm

InThisTogether wrote:
You are asking for honest feedback, so I will give you some. I think that the crux of your issues might be portrayed in your following statement:

Quote:
I've noted that people are offended easily and when they feel offended they proceed to do one of two things: 1) Cut off all contact with said person who supposedly "offended" them, or 2) Respond with insult and casually make the whole incident that follows your fault, even though it was their misunderstanding to begin with, and their insults that kept it going.


You don't get to determine what "offends" other people. Each of us, as individuals, determines what we find offensive. When you offend someone, turning it around to blame the offense on them "even though it was their misunderstanding to begin with" will almost always result in others becoming angry with you.

When you find you have offended someone, the safest response is an apology--without an attached litany of excuses and explanations, then tuck the fact that they are offended by whatever it was into your memory banks and try not to repeat the offense in the future.

There is your honest feedback. Take from it what you will.




People can get offended over anything. There are people out there who are so sensitive you have to walk on eggshells and they are hard to be around because you don't know what is going to make them mad. How is that even your fault? I was put on birth control when I was 13 because my hormones made me so sensitive, anything offended me and would make me cry and my parents got so sick of dealing with it, they put me on birth control and it made my life easier in school too because it made me be tougher towards other kids about things they do to me and say to me without me over reacting and taking things the wrong way.

You can tell someone you don't like Titanic and boom, that person gets offended. Should you apologize for offending them for not liking the same movie they like? Or you can tell someone you can't stand the color red because it reminds you of blood and you hate that color and boom someone can be offended by that too. You can also say you find McMansions to be fugly and boom someone can be offended by it. See my point?


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