Non-addictive anti-anxiety medication?

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I'm sorry, I know this has been discussed before, but I don't want to necro an old topic to ask my specific question.

I have finally come to the realization that I cannot continue to do my job without taking anti-anxiety medication or else having daily serious meltdowns. I don't like this, I don't like medications, but I want to be able to do my job. I like it, it's just too much in terms of both sensory overload and social interaction. I could ask for special accommodations from my boss and she'd probably allow that, but then I'd be the disabled person at work who needs special treatment and I really don't want that either.

I have found that if I take diazepam (valium), I can handle the job okay. The problem is that this drug is highly addictive and tolerance builds very quickly. I can't take it every day, or it will stop working - and I'll get terrible withdrawal when I stop taking it.

Is there something I can take nearly every day that isn't so highly addictive? Something that will keep me calm and prevent meltdowns, so I can keep doing my job and not have to reduce my hours (and salary). I've had terrible experiences with antidepressants and I'm pretty scared of trying them again. I did only take a couple different ones though and I know there are many. On the other hand, I'm not depressed, just overloaded. My stress levels build too quickly, I work too much and don't have time to bring the levels back down even over the weekend, and it's just getting worse and worse every week.

I don't know of any non-addictive anti-anxiety medications, unfortunately. They all seem to have that problem. There are non-medication approaches, though; have you tried meditation or relaxation lessons?

Anti-psychotics (the anti-histamine, anti-adrenal, and other CNS depressing effects are quite potent and effective at relieving anxiety)

Need to weigh up risks of taking versus rewards of taking, though

(I don't know if they prescribe them for "just" anxiety though. One is approved for ASDs, anyway.)

Cipralex helps with anxiety, is not addictive, and I felt very little side effects when on it (none that I noticed except for my emotions were tuned down a lot which is what I needed). When coming off, I did have the "brain zaps" that come with many similar medications. They helped me on a VERY small dosage, I might add (and I was in bad shape when I went on them).

Thanks for the responses. I guess I'll have to find an English-speaking doctor somewhere around here who has experience with autism (oh boy that's gonna be a fun search and not end well for my wallet) and discuss what will be best for me.

Tai Chi has done incredible wonders for my overall mental and pysical health, but my moods change very rapidly and no matter how good I feel at the start of a day, there's only so much I can take, and I've been having regular meltdowns at work. I could calm down using Tai Chi but it would take me an hour and I never have more than 15 minutes of real time to myself during the day. This cannot continue. I went years with hardly any meltdowns. I like my job in general but the sensory overload is just unbelievable. I'm responsible for, on average, 20 children aged 3-6, and for various reasons our group has a much higher than average percentage of extremely aggressive and hyperactive children. Basically, imagine having headphones strapped to your ears at all times blaring the Sex Pistols at max volume while you try to act like a normal, calm, well-adjusted person, get the kids to focus on their work, and convince the parents of these little beasts that you are capable of handling all their kids for eight hours a day. Oh, and the kids (and other teachers) don't speak English, and you're not allowed to use their language with them because your boss thinks they will magically learn English that way.

Last school year I only worked part time and supplemented my income by teaching private business English lessons elsewhere in the city, but I hate teaching business English and I hated all the travel (and the fact that I lost so much time just going from one place to another). This year my boss offered me full-time hours and I took it and dropped all my other private students. I thought I could handle it but I can't, not without help. Today I took half a valium when I got to work (still unsettled from my meltdown yesterday and nearly in tears already) and the rest of the day went splendidly. But I know I can't do that every day or it will stop working and I'll get a whole new set of problems.

As it stands now, I take about half a pill about once per two weeks or so, but I'm feeling the need to take it more and more often as my job gets more stressful. I'm considering asking my boss to reduce my hours, but I'd have to find a way to make up for the lost wages. Maybe if I push myself to do more art I could sell the occasional painting or something...

Edit: Also, I took Citalophram (related to Cipralex) for about a month in college with terrible results. My depression and mood swings got worse, I couldn't concentrate, my sleep issues got worse, and I suffered terrible sexual dysfunction which lasted for more than a year after I stopped taking it. Also, they tend to interact with alcohol and going for a beer with my friends is a large part of my social life. I really don't want to use an SSRI if I don't absolutely have to, although thanks for the suggestion and I can always keep it in mind if nothing else works out.

Buspirone is a drug marketed as an anxiolitic, but its not addictive like benzodiazipines.

I started taking it a week and a half ago at a low dose (5mg morning 5mg evening). Even at this dose i can feel its working, its very mild but it definately makes me slightly less anxious in general, they say it can take up to 3 weeks to feel the full benefit too so ill wait and see, but it definately shows promise, even on someone with anxiety as bad as mine.

Its also non sedating unlike benzos which is a big plus, i dont want to be free of anxiety but so doped up i cant do anything worthwhile.

Prior long term use of benzodiazipines has shown to decrease the effectiveness of buspirone however, and you say you take valium so im not sure if it would work as well with you, but you can give it a try.

I tried valerian for anxiety before but I can't remember if it helped any.

I have recently been prescribed diazepam again in hospital when they saw how bad my anxiety really was (I am currently inpatient in psychiatric hospital) after having been off it since March over fears that I was becoming dependent. I am relieved to have been prescribed it again to be taken "as needed" (for me this is when I can't cope with my intrusive self-harm/suicidal thoughts which arise as a result of anxiety) and determined that I will give my doctors no cause to take away my prescription again.

Since march I had been prescribed the following to help with my anxiety when needed:

amisulpride at a low dose (antipsychotic)
promethazine (sedating antihistamine)

Both worked to a certain degree - the amisulpride really helped with social anxiety, and the promethazine was good when I just needed to relax in general but also made me sleep (not so good in a work environment!).

Wellbutrin takes the edge off me and removes a degree of depression/dreariness we all have.

I think it's, at least, worth a try for anyone in our scenario. If it doesn't work for you, then move on...

Looks like there's a lot of very different options out there. I guess I really do have to find a doctor. That's gonna be tough. Better get working on it then.

As for Chinese medicine, while the martial arts do wonders for me, I've never had any luck with the medicine. I've got a colleague who's always pushing various herbal remedies and such for various ailments and I try everything, but so far no luck. Certain herbal teas do have a relaxing effect on me, but I build up a tolerance to them just as much as any drug and I can't drink them every day or they stop working. It's possible the Tai Chi will eventually be enough on its own (I've only been doing it a few weeks), but while it's giving me overall benefits now, it doesn't specifically do anything against anxiety except for immediately after I practice. The practice has to last at least 30 minutes or so to really work, and the anti-anxiety effects of it only help for a few hours after that.

Also, maybe I should clarify that I'm hoping I won't need to take something every day. I actually don't have problems every day. There are certain periods of time where for a week or so I'll need something each day, but then there might be a couple of weeks where I'm totally fine without any medication whatsoever. I like valium because I can take it as needed and it works fast. I know a lot of other things need to be taken long-term to have any effect, and I'd hate to have to do that when it's not really necessary.

Maybe I'll stick with valium for now and try to use it sparingly, start looking for a doctor to help me further, and consider reducing my work hours for a while to see if it helps. Thanks again for all the varied responses. It's good to know there are so many options out there.

I take buspar. I am in recovery so I avoid any kind of controlled substances if possible. Buspar works. It is not addictive. It doesn't have any bad side effects that I can tell.

It's not a magic bullet - I meditate as well (and glad to see you do tai chi - these things are important). But buspirone has taken the edge off some of the residual anxiety.

It takes about 6 weeks to work, though! And I had to titrate up to 35mg a day. It made me feel a bit dizzy at first, but I worked through that.

And it's cheap!