Bulimia

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Today my roommate who also has Asperger's told me that she has been throwing up after she eats (on purpose). I told her that it is a serious eating disorder, but I'm not sure if I can believe her. First of all, I haven't noticed her going to the bathroom right after eating. She does go to the gym everyday and she is extremely obsessed with her body image and eating healthy. She told me that she wants to slim down for the winter formal. Tonight at dinner, she ate a lot more than she normally does and went straight to the gym for almost 2 hours after that. Do you think I should tell the RA about this? She is planning on studying abroad in Argentina this Spring and I'm not sure if she will be permitted to go if she is diagnosed with an eating disorder. I spoke to my mom who is a nurse. (I didn't use her name.) My roommate and I don't get along to begin with, but eating disorders are serious.

Much like Autism Spectrum Disorders, Eating Disorders are really complicated, and so many medical professionals don't understand them. For many people having an ED is less about losing weight and more about being able to control at least one thing in their life. Rather than ratting her out, which could make a personal emotional problem exponentially larger, point her to http://www.prettythin.com/eating-disorder-forum/ where she can get help from other people with similar problems.

I think you should tell. An eating disorder is very dangerous. I am a mother. I know if that was my cold I would like you to tell.

There's no reason to think she'd be making it up. There's not always an obvious way to tell if someone has an eating disorder. She might not vomit right way or every time she eats. She may well try to do it secretly. She may have an eating disorder that doesn't involve vomiting but said that she does because that's a disease which is well known and she's trying to explain her illness to herself and you in some more definable way.

I think telling people - especially authority figures - without her consent could be a serious violation of her trust. Unless you are concerned for her immediate health - you think she's directly putting her life at risk in some way - I wouldn't tell. Maybe try asking her if she wants to talk to the RA first? It's very hard to force someone to get better from an eating disorder. It will depend on what state she's in and whether she's currently recovery-minded.

All you can do is encourage her to be healthy and not worry about body image/weight, support her in any underlying problems which are behind the eating disorder (I know you said you don't get along - does she have friends or family who are supportive? You could encourage her to talk to them.), and not make things worse by making her feel she can't trust or by doubting what she says. She may not be telling the truth, but if you don't give her the benefit of the doubt, I think the consquences are potentially worse than if you do.

I think you should talk to your roomie first. If she told you, maybe she's hoping you'll help. You could talk to her about going to the counseling center together, so she can talk to somebody about her problem and hopefully work on fixing it. She seems to be aware that something needs to be done, but she might need some moral support.

Yes, eating disorders are dangerous, but they are also quite common, especially in college-age females. She's not alone. Many people have struggled with bulimia and many people have recovered. She doesn't have to deal with this alone, and at a university, the counselors will have a good deal of experience with it.

That said, throwing up after eating just once or twice is not indicative of an eating disorder. It's not exactly healthy, but to be an eating disorder it has to be a recurrent pattern. She could "just" be having body-image issues, which would put her at risk for an eating disorder, but not actually have one yet. But let a psychologist decide how severe this is--you're her roommate, not her doctor.

I don't think it would be wise to "go behind her back" right now. That's a betrayal of trust, and it's only something you should do if you have reason to believe she is in danger and you cannot convince her to go with you to find help.

Actually, today my RA told me that another RA caught my roommate throwing up in the bathroom. Obviously, I told my RA what she told me. I did tell my roommate that eating disorders are serious, and it may prevent her from studying abroad next year.