Do I have Asperger's?

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Hi Folks


I'm 26 and I have a 12 year old sister who was not long ago diagnosed with 'pervasive development dissorder' and its been pointed out by certain people that perhaps I have it too.

The reason its been latched onto is because i've never had a girlfriend, and while I can relate to women fine i find the concept of a 'chase' baffling, for me the idea of talking to a woman i don't know in a bar is as bizzare as talking to a man i don't know, it doesn't intimidate me as such it just doens't register as being a normal thing to do!

I'm a very outgoing guy with plenty of friends, but I've always had an eccentric side which belies my 'everybody's friend' image. For instance if i like a sport i know a lot about it and will watch youth matches, If i like a show or a film I'll get to know it inside out and buy the soundtrack, and even find myself adopting patterns of behaviour and using its language in the way i speak (when i first discovered The Sopranos my swearing went off the scale!)

I also have huge problems with rejection, If i perceive someone to have 'wronged' me in someway, I will completely ignore them and evern leave a bar if they are in there, again this is the main factor in not having a girlfriend, in bars if i've smiled at someone and they've not responded straight away - but maybe come over later and tried to dance iwth me, I feel what can only be described as a physical pain in my chest coupled with intense anger which makes me want to go home!

I think the fact thta my people skills in other areas of my life (Sense of humour - I've actually done some well received amateur stand up commedy) and i could talk to anyone abaout anything, has masked me from being suspected of having a condition the way my sister was - but I think whatever it is is damaging an important part of my life!

Any ideas guys?

Thanks, Mark

You don't give much to go on. As for comedy, nobody said an aspie couldn't be a good stand up comic. The problem is really GETTING certain jokes. For the most part, I think aspies can probably GIVE them just fine. That doesn't put you out of the running.

Heck, I will laugh where other people don't, and vice/versa.

What you say about shows like the sopranos is apparantly SOMEWHAT common with autistic people, but I don't think it is necessarily that meaningful.

As for the girlfriend, there could be a LOT of reasons for that. It seems you are talking more desire and treatment than anything else.

Frankly, I don't think you have AS, but you didn't give much to go on.

Steve

Mark,

I do see a lot of myself in your post in that your experiences in the dating game echo mine in many ways. To me, women are like dairy products: I like them but they don't like me I also feel exactly the same way about rejection as you do.

You ask: "Do I have Asperger's?" Have you done an extensive search on the subject? Have you found any patterns in your own life's history that echo the hallmarks of an Asperger-autistic?

If so, would you consider getting formally Dx'ed so you could taylor your lifestyle to its limitations and its strengths?

By all means find out and let us know what you do find out. Good luck in your search!

Cheers for the replies guys.

I have done some research on the subject and in some ways I see things in the condition that I have and things I don't, for instance 'social awkwardness and innapropriate behaviour' as its described on the net is not something i really experience, but in some ways i could be described as appearing eccentric I suppose.

for instance when i was a kid i was easily caught up in 'worlds', from the age of around five i would draw pictures but they weren't simply pictures, they might be of societies or alien races with extremely complex detail. I developed deep deep interests in particular things, space and World War 2 to the extent that i used to shock my teachers with my knowledge of the subjects.

I have very little interest in anything which doesn't interest me, I also struggle to learn new things even though i consider myself intelligent.

My social interaction with people could best be described as myself being sewpt along by the multitude of things pouring from my own mind, with anyone who is interested following me along for the ride!

The 'forming relationships' description that it gives on relevent websites is very meaningfull to me in my own life, I have often blames women for things they haven't done, and have a preocupation with the fact i could be 'being used' for some unknown reason, and as said earlier I experience physical pain when i perceive any kind of rejection, even thought it may not actually be outright rejection in the first place!

I've tried the test on the other thread and it gave an aspie score of 90-something out of 200 and basically said I was half and half. I was also diagnosed dyslexic at the age of 23 after struggling through my life and actually gaining a university degree which was extremely difficult to achieve with mu inability to concentrate.

As advised i'll keep looking, but my sisters medical people have shown a reluctance to entertain any talk of me having the same problems though, although knowing them it could be a budget decision.

With regards to the comedy thing I do get jokes, although i show a preferance for slapstick and commedians with a 'ranting and angry' style!

Whatever happens though, despite my struggles in certain areas of my life I wouldn't change a thing, I'd rather have this party going on in my head than just be an
'average joe'

Welcome, I'm also an aspie with a gift for comedy. Through I'm still a teen you can see me perform in any sort of club for money. I do Carlos Mencia style humor in all it's policitally incorrect glory.

mark, do you work for the city council or have a friend called Trebor by any chance?

Mark,

I never said AS people didn't get jokes. It is simply SOME jokes, and that may mean simply that you get them later. There are just too many types of jokes. Getting all jokes requires understanding of the circumstances(which can be social), environment(which can require interests in things like fashion), and some language things that aspies might not quickly get.

The idea of odd interests and profound knowledge IS another case FOR AS.

The learning problem could be due to the dyslexia which is seperate from AS. That isn't really material either way.

Still, AS does NOT require that you have learning problems. Going back, I learned things FAST when I was 9 and younger.(Based on memories I have of people having me help them with school work.) EVERYONE was asking me for help on the subjects. NOW, I don't learn everything so fast, but I am STILL the answer guy everywhere I work. So I guess I am not THAT bad. Some here speak of photographic memories, and great success with language, other subjects, AND math!

Yeah, and I, and everyone else, can only give educated opinions. What matters really is how well everything fits in the long run.

Heck, I haven't been diagnosed and it seems like a relatively daunting task to be diagnosed properly, so I may not bother. Even with all the other things that I have seen that have symptoms like what attracted me to AS, I still feel it has to be AS. THEY are missing things AS has, and have requirements I don't meet. Besides, as I told another, if I am not AS, they should change the definition to exclude me.

Steve