Why aspies get depressed part-II

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A friend asked me if I was taking my tablets, she said that she notices when I have taken them, the thing is that I have not taken them for a long time. She asked me what why I am happy sometime and not others, I never really thought about the question until now.

The depression is simply loneliness nothing more or less. It is just Mother Nature’s way of manipulating me to settle down and have children with a wife.

To understand why I feel up and down is more affective way of manipulating then feeling happy all the time or feeling depressed all the time, I will explain all scenarios separately.

If I was happy all the time, I would start playing computer war-games, start an open source project and study more about programming and stay at home without ever leaving it. I would even still be living with my mother, why the hell would I have a reason to leave and all those little social tips, why would I need them for.

If I was unhappy all the time, I would simply scare away people. Since you probably have good understanding why then I don’t need to elaborate.

If I was a stable in between, I wouldn’t be needy enough to change or appear happy enough to attract people in my life.

The reason why Aspies often feel more depressed then NTs is because it take more to get an Aspie out of the house and socializing then an NT. NTs don’t need to be bullied my mother nature so much because they enjoy socializing, dressing nice and climbing the social hierarchy regardless of whether they want someone or not.

Improvements to my grammer and wording much appreciated .

There are a LOT of reasons why people get depressed. Most(but never all), could be alleviated by a good friend or two, but that is it. Most of my depression was not that type. As for getting out of the house? I wish it was that easy. It certainly isn't with me.

Steve

I think that Aspies are likely to get depressed, because they're expected to follow the norms of the mainstream of the society, community or even the country that they live in. If they're given flack by people who know them well enough to understand how their Minds and Personalities work, they feel very hurt, deep down inside. It hurts them so much that they might fall into a depression, especially if there's a glitch in a society that seems more appealing to them, than the society that they're stuck in.

One of the things I am frequently told is that I should make some friends and care for them and be cared by them. Well there are some things you learn and some you don’t. If you are completely tune deaf you will not be a musician, if you are autistic you will not make friends. You can learn to cycle or to swim, to some extent, but you can’t learn to make friends if you are Asperger or autistic in some other form. Michelangelo, Kierkegaard, Glenn Gould did not have real friends and their prodigious creativity was in good measure the product of a need to compensate for their loneliness.

Here is what a scientist says about tune deafness (Isabelle Peretz): “People with tune-deafness do not feel any emotion when they listen to music. "For these patients, listening to music is like listening to a foreign language," (New Scientist).

But how difficult it is for “normal” people (NTs) to understand this!
And it’s quite normal that people without friends are depressed. To have friends is to live in a world where you accepted, wanted, helped if need comes. To have friends is a fundamental need, like having nourishment, air to breath, some space your own around you.

Last edited by paolo on 24 Dec 2006, 10:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I identify really well with what CockneyRebel said; I find it tough to conform with society's demands.

I also used to wonder if there was a "positive" reason to feel depressed.We feel pain as a warning system.It is an alarm that tells us to take our hand off the stove or seek medical treatment.We feel fear so that we will know when to flee or fight.We feel joy when our basic needs are being met....enough to eat,protection of family and friends,safe place to sleep.We feel rage to fight against things that are harmful to us in body or mind.

Depression would seem to be a way to say...."you need to change something",it is a destress signal.It can let you know that something is not in balance either in your environment,body or mind.If you can not change the environment then it warns that you need to change your cognition of your environment.That is functional depression.

However,I dont think it is the only form of depression.I think that sometimes this system is "broken".It over reacts to stressers.This hyper-sensitivity is like the anxiety experienced by people with OCD.Their brain is responding to things that are not really a threat.I know when I have been the most depressed....I cant think clearly to solve or change anything...I dont even want to get out of bed(maybe that is a defense system at work,trying to protect my mind from over-stimulation and eventual overload and breakdown?)It certainly doesn't make me very functional and is a very effective repellent to other humans.

I know you think that having a partner and children is the "cure" for your loneliness and depression and it may be effective.But what happens when you find a partner and are still depressed.Many depressed people are in relationships and still feel lonely and misunderstood.Being with people and still feeling disconnected is the loneliest feeling there is.Genuine human connection is one of the best feelings there is but more elusive then most humans will admit.

As I said, if I wasn’t depressed I just would not make any effort whatsoever, especially the amount of effort that an Aspie has to put in. I personally receive a minute fraction compared the effort, time and money that I put in. It is like building a mountain and receiving a mouse for ones effort.



I personally don’t care about conforming at all, that wouldn’t get me do I would say fu<k them, what can they do, dock my wages?

Anyway generally based on what I said in my post if all aspies were happy being alone, with all their social difficulties and all, they would eventually die out leaving the one that do get depressed and loneliness and thus forced to take action; actually that what has happen.

When I think of "love" it CAN get me down. I spend more my time not thinking of it, though, despite the fact I'm stuck as a romantic warrior (even though I am a peace lover).

I'm sure there are other things that can make me depressed, but that would probably be the biggest. More importantly was the lack of confidence in 'love' that was making me depressed. I wasn't thinking very positively