High Self-Esteem?

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I'm a young man who, after a fairly disastrous college experience, has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers. One thing that kept getting at me when being examined (or whatever you'd call it) for an AS disorder or whenever I just personally tried to look stuff up is the way that everyone seems to assume low self-esteem is an incredibly common factor of Aspergers. I fit most of the general criteria, except that I very much get humor, don't generally take things too literally, and I have high self-esteem. By that I mean, I understand I have numerous faults; I'm frequently depressed, lonely, socially anxious and quiet and shy and all, but I like myself. I like my interests, I consider myself fairly handsome, I know I can be charming if I REALLY try, intelligent, etc. I just don't like most other people. I have a handful of strong friends, but most people tend to bore me to tears. I don't mean to sound full of myself or something, but all these recent assumptions everyone has had that I secretly hate myself or something has almost given me some sort of ego-boosting self-defense, and I just can't help but feel like there's more Aspergers people with good self-images than is generally thought, and my curiosity has been killing me lately. Are there?

I think my biggest problem socially is finding a like mind. I know I'm smart and I'm only interested in talking about my interests or new stories that get my interest, and not just have a conversational partner making some brash assumption. Really investigate the topic, you know?

I ignore society trends and just live my own way. I wish more people were like that. People give me looks or feel sorry for me, but I prefer to live this way. I have my own style and I decide what my interests are. I have strong opinions but I'm pretty moralistic. I don't like drinking with people mainly because of what they say and how they act. I really suppress the urge to warn someone about breaking the law.

I'm kind of cute too.

I like me a lot. I wouldn't change for anybody, or billions of cash. I'm organised, committed, ready to please, a great aunt who really cares for her nephews and nieces, I hurt for people when they go through a tough time, and I really try to understand people. I can only make art when it's for someone. I'm always learning something or reading. I'm a problem solver. I come up with great stories. I come up with ideas people rarely do. People always complement me on my art, photography or writing.

I think I go through bouts of being down on myself, but most of the time I'm just looking forward. I view each day as a challenge. And each day comes with its own problems.

Plus, I really like the INTJ personality type which I am.

I had low self esteem for most of my teen years, most of it springing from my total inability to be normal (this was before I discovered Aspergers) though there were some other factors. Now though? I have a healthy self esteem. I am adorable, witty, intelligent, and good at what I do. That said, I'm still incredibly lonely and prone to social failure. Those things do hurt but it doesn't destroy my self esteem like it used to.

I think I brought this up in the narcissist thread but I think part of this is because I spend most of my time with myself. I would probably not be able to survive if I hated myself/ thought I was worthless because I don't have anyone to tell me otherwise.

I have a normal healthy self-esteem. Low self-esteem has not been one of my problems in life. I think that it is because I don't tend to judge myself against other people or think about what other people are thinking about me, both of these probably traits of autism. I am oblivious to other people's influence, and I seem to be mostly oblivious to the effects of failures too. I tend to keep going, obliviously.

From my own experiences, I'd say that low self-esteem is not an intrinsic factor of Aspergers, but it does develop in aspies a lot of the time - myself included. It was not until I hit my teenage years that I turned that around (and it was a long road back after that).

It's down to social pressure. You're supposed to interact with people in a certain way, but Aspergers makes that very difficult. It's like appearing in a play you've not seen the script for. Because you don't react properly, people react badly to you. No-one likes an actor that keeps fluffing their lines and missing their cues. In some cases, we become withdrawn and just avoid socialising. In others we push through by doing what we want and letting other people adapt. The pressure to fit in and be normal is a constant drain, and the more we try to do that, the more obvious it becomes that we don't fit and are not normal. Hence, low self-esteem.

It doesn't help that we're very literal minded. I was thirteen when I suddenly realised that I didn't have to do what I was told all the time; before that, I'd attempt to follow instructions from authority figures like teachers and often get them wrong because I didn't understand them. I didn't question the instructions - it never occurred to me. Other children followed instructions without problems. Therefore, the problem was with me.

So yes, low self-esteem soon developed - not as part of the AS, but simply because I couldn't fit into the world around me. Nowadays, I know myself and I know the world. When things go badly, I don't blame myself. I understand that most people are idiots, the world is insane and nothing actually matters, so sod the lot of it and I'll do what the hell I like.

I think self-esteem thing varies from person to person, same as it does among NT people. It has more to do with one's successes and failures than it does with having AS or not. I think many people with AS may have low self esteem if the things they happen to fixate on are things which they are not good at. For a long time, I had this issue myself.

I hate this assumption as well. People in my personal life as well as doctors, therapists etc. always assume that I have low self-esteem and depression. This is compounded by the fact that I'm an overweight female. No one seems able to process the fact that I love myself and my body just the way I am.

<-- Another aspie with high self esteem here.
The only thing I really don't like about myself is my laziness/difficulty motivating myself, but I'm working on that.