ANGER PROBLEMS!? Or is it just me?
I tend to get very angery at pretty much anything that doesn't do exactly what I want when I want. Needless to say, I get mad a lot! I havn't ever hit a human out of anger and I stopped throwing things. If it's not a human I will beat the crap out it and some times cry. Sometimes I get so mad that it comes out as tears and sadness. The only reason that happens is because I will get in trouble for hitting and yelling because I am not allowed to do that. I hate that extreme feeling of anger inside me. How do I get rid of it when it happens? Does this happen to anyone else? Is it an aspie thing?
auntblabby
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Richardf269
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Age: 40
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I had a lot of anger issues myself when I was in my teens, but I think that had to do more with me being depressed as a kid who had a mother who was gone 50% of the time & wasn't a good mother at all, and she had bad bi-polar. I picked up her bad traits as a kid. It took me 7-8 years of trying to fix it on my own, seeing as my dad was poor and just didn't have the resources to help me (which honestly made me like him even less). But I don't think my anger is from Autism. I think it was more from my mother having bi-polar. I don't think I have it because I've never honestly been "truly happy" and never had a manic episode. Hell, I feel more apathetic towards people when it comes to "feeling for them" when bad things happen to them.
Better to beat something up than someone. There's some days I really do feel like destroying something with my bare hands at the crappy life I've lived, but I don't really have anything to "beat on". Other than maybe the bed or the pillow, but I've never done that.
When I was very small, I would have a lot of temper tantrums. Now my frustration tends to come out in anxiety and a big internal flurry that very rarely becomes physical with throwing or pounding. I have lots of tics that go off, rubbing my face and pacing and getting very frantic. But thankfully it's nowhere near as violent as it was when I was little. Like others have mentioned, good ways of coping with frustration are listening to music, counting in your head, taking deep breaths, refraining from talking and trying to clear your head. It takes a little practice but it can help. I don't think that susceptibility to frustration is a big aspie thing, maybe some other posters will know. Maybe heightened frustration or going off at smaller things than NTs, but it's got to be a universal thing.
Hi Kaelyn. You have my sympathy - those bouts of irrational anger are so tiring, aren't they?
I am incredibly sensitive to food: I have worked out over the years that eating specific things - usually sugary junk - can make me barking mad or tearful or cause me to lash out verbally, (or in the case of starchy stuff send me into a downward spiral of "oh what's the point" depression). Naturally I have never found a health official who believes me, but it IS true and I can directly link bouts of irrational behaviour on my part to scoffing things outside of my usual (sadly restricted) diet.
I'm not suggesting this is true for all of us, but it might be one of the things worth investigating. I find it simple to do because my reactions to foods usually flare up within about 1-2 hours after I have eaten the offending article, so in most cases it is quite easy to track back and identify what has set me off.
I hope you find the thing that sets you off and I wish you a very happy New Year
ps. I don't want to hijack this thread, but I would be really interested in talking to others who have problems with food (or have identified other 'unlikely' things that affect them). Please feel free to get in touch
I think sometimes you just have to ride it out. You don't hurt anyone, so that means you have some time to solve the problem; it's not an emergency, just an unpleasant annoyance. If you can learn to predict what makes you more upset, and what can calm you down, and do those things before a meltdown starts--then you can reduce their frequency.
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I have this so much! I get very frustrated and furious about little things, especially when I'm already anxious about something, and sometimes feel almost overwhelming anger toward other people. It often degenerates into obsessive thoughts that make it almost impossible to focus on anything but how angry I am, which just makes it worse.
I find it really helps to engage my mind in something that requires a lot of focus. Of course this can be difficult because I'm so angry that it's difficult to concentrate. What I've started doing is having conversations with an imaginary person in French (which I'm studying in school). Since it's not my native language, it requires work, and even thinking my angry thoughts in French helps calm me down and takes my mind off my anger. However, languages are my main Asperger's obsession, so this might only work for me. Thinking in French, even angry thoughts, also improves my mood because I enjoy it. I also find that listening to or even thinking about intense music--it doesn't even have to be angry music, just something fierce and powerful sounding--helps me channel the intensity of the emotion into something healthier.
This also means that I get very good grades in French
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