Parent with a question about stimming

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I'm the father of a 7yo diagnosed with high functioning autism. He has a few very prevalent stims but running back and forth while humming is the the most common and is one that he's done almost since he could walk. (spinning while blinking at ceiling lights, headstands and chewing are all other favorites).

With our son, it seems to happen quite spontaneously and often comes after he's spent a lot of time focusing on a singular activity.

We've talked with him about his stimming to understand what he's thinking or what might have brought it on so that we can lessen some environmental issues for him but he hasn't really been able to explain. He'll say that he's not thinking about anything and sometimes I don't think that he's even aware that he's stimming. It was very interesting to find out this weekend that he was completely unaware of his humming (which can get quite loud and often sounds like he's in distress or pain). He wanted me to video him stimming and humming so he could see it but, though he was able to run and hum, it wasn't the same as when he stimmed.

I'm hoping that some of you here can help me understand what's happening when a person on the spectrum is stimming by sharing some of your experiences. Are you often unaware of it? Are you thinking about nothing or are you engrossed in other thought? What seems to prompt it and how do you know when to stop?

Thanks!

I wouldn't just post the video to the kid, it might be a little counter productive.

However I would sugguest getting him to know when he's stimming, so he can learn to modify his own behavior.

I myself have run into some physical problems as a result of my stimm, and I regret not learning how to do other activities when I was younger.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

When I'm at home I usually don't pay attention to whether I stim or not, but I guess I'm doing it most of the time, I just want to be myself when at home.
When I'm thinking, I'm stimming, when I'm doing a repetitive task, I'm stimming, special interest, stimming, posting something, too. In fact, I'm doing it right now (rocking forth and back is probably my favourite stim).

Why am I doing this? Well, I feel the need to. In the end, it relaxes me and I can focus better. It's like stress-handling, it's soothing and I can talk from experience: Too much stress makes sick in a literal meaning.
I would also like to remind that social situations are stress for people with autism, it's because of all the impulses which one has to interpret and we live in a world with a focus on social contacts. I guess stims are a way of dealing with that and creating a time of peace and balance.

In public I learned to control myself, I either don't stim at all or when I really feel the need to, I try to do hide that somehow by using a weaker stim all the time which people could interpret as boredom or impatience at the worst (like rotating a pen 180 to 360° in hand or lightly tapping with my leg). You might want to try to discover some alternative stims with your son, talk to him what is relaxing him, when he is stimming and what is helping him to concentrate and to teach him to use stims that are less noticable outside/in public if he feels the need to stim.

I understand the motive, it is a risk to him, he could be bullied for it and it can be irritating in this case (thinking he might have pains and suffer), but I am sure it would be a bad idea to entirely force him to give up on stimming. He would most likely have to learn to hold it back when outside/in public though, otherwise there is a good chance of bullying (unpleasant experience in life).
I noticed certain people dislike it when I'm rocking or would pick on me earlier in my youth, but why? I don't know, I wish they would just mind their own business, I don't harm anybody by doing what I am doing. I realized it had to do with this and I had to force myself to be normal by observating and trying to act in a similar way and held back my stims in my school years, which is not really 100% possible. Kids would still smell something was wrong with me, I guess.

Last edited by Sylvastor on 07 Jan 2013, 2:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I mainly stim when I'm excited or stressed. It helps me focus and eases distress.

It usually starts as a subconscious thing, but eventually I become aware of it.

It can be a way to defuse stress, but often it is not. Read this post, it's the most brilliant description of stimming I've ever seen -> http://juststimming.wordpress.com/2011/ ... iet-hands/

Hi Bobreed,

This might be the type of question that will vary for many different people. Yet i hope i can help.

Verbal stimming (i'm a hummer as well and i also make slight noises) is one of my stims.
What was the case when i was a child until now with verbal stims(sometimes someone points out that i am humming) and brings it to my attention, other times i am aware that i am stimming.
It seems to be random for me, it's something i do unconciously regardless of the activity i am doing.
Other children thought i was weird for making noises and humming, yet at this point in life those around me understand how i am and accept.
A lot of the times when i am stimming i am doing normal things i do such as being online, research, riding in a car, engrossed in thought, sometimes i might be thinking about nothing at all and just content. Other times it may be the opposite and i am not content and stimming.
It is very random for me in this sense.

Children (going back to when i was a child) i think children are less inhibited than adults they can stim with reckless abandon at certain ages.
Stimming is so natural for me that honestly i've never given it thought although i do seem to get a bit more intense with it if i am stressed.
On the contrary when i am completely content i will stim also.
I have an HFA diagnosis, if that helps any. Stimming will vary probably due to the individual and all.

Mostly I don't notice I'm doing it. Although I know most of my stims because I see them, like my shaking leg will make the book in my lap unreadable so I notice. But there's others that weren't pointed out to me ever that I noticed only after 18 years when there happened to be a mirror in public when I did it, and others which people only pointed out when I was 15-16.

I can stop but it doesn't feel good. Asking me why I do it is like asking an NT why they click a pen continuosly (NTs have stims to, it's just not as severe). Just ask yourself. There is no obvious reason. It's not because you feel something or you're thinking something.

But after years of doing it I notice it happens when there's just too much, or when I'm bored. It's like I'm regulating all the inputs in my brain. When there's too much going on it's like when something hurts and you make some other part hurt to distract yourself. So when there's too much going on it's a distraction. When there's too little going on it keeps me occupied. I sway back and forth in waiting lines for example. There's nothing going on so I need something to happen else to happen. I also tend to do it after long periods of concentration. It's like the period of concentration is a pleasing level of input so when I quit it's sudden boredom and I tend to stim for a bit.

I suggest you not try to stop it or anything unless it's harmful. If it's annoying you can try redirecting a stim. I do different stims for different things and often gain new ones. Some are problematic so when I catch myself doing them I switch to other stims. Stopping them is like preventing me from coping.

Hope that helps.

Hi bobreed,

This is the sort of thing that varies from person to person but I'll share my experiences and observations about stimming in case it helps. I would often get compulsions to stim as a kid and if you had asked me why I wouldn't have been able to answer either, even now it's not really easy to articulate, there were different functions but I'd say the main function was that it was a means to regulate myself. Interactions with other people and day to day stimuli can be very stressful and exhausting when you have an ASD, stimming gave me a way to shut out everything around me and invert myself into my own little world. I wasn't not thinking about anything when this happened, but if you asked me what I was thinking I probably wouldn't have been able to articulate it. It was sort of like intensive daydreaming, I'd see pictures and characters in my head.

I would also stim when I was excited about something, or after experiencing a lot of stimulation, like after seeing a movie I liked or having a fun day out doing something I don't usually do. Again, stimming allowed me to shut everything else out and zero in on my favorite movie scene or what I saw during the day, and repeat it over and over in my head. I still do this and I think on some level it's a means of helping me process what I saw/experienced. Since you say your son tends to stim after focusing on a singular activity, maybe it has a similar function? Of processing the activity and/or repeating what happened in his head?

I also have stims that are more like nervous habits (skin picking, hand rubbing etc), and with those I don't actually think about anything and usually don't notice what I'm doing, but those don't seem to be the type you're describing with your son (the longer lasting type where you shut things out). I actually can't say if I knew what I was doing when I was your son's age, stimming was not a conscious thing and I would do it without thinking about it, but I think I knew what I did afterwards (I definitely did when I was older). I would often lose sense of time and be really surprised when I'd look at the clock and realize I had spent 45 minutes making hand motions or pacing, but I knew I was doing those things.

Stimming isn't necessarily a bad thing, I really enjoyed the experience of stimming when I was younger, and while I still do it now I can't do it with the intensity that I did when I was a kid. I know it can be problematic though, I think what's most important isn't stopping your son from stimming but having him get a sense of control over it so that he doesn't do it inappropriate situations or for too long. I'd recommend getting him some stimmy toys that can provide a sensory experience similar to stimming, that way he can experience a similar sense of regulation in a socially acceptable way which will hopefully decrease the less socially appropriate stimming. I have a mini trampoline that I love, I know some kids like rocking horses and those swirly gear toys.

I hum a lot too....I used to do it during class in primary school. Now I do it at home....sometimes for no reason and sometimes deliberately to block out noise-little noises around the house like my mom putting away dishes in another room or talking on the phone or the washing machine etc. I never realized I did this on purpose to block out noise until recent years though......as a kid I would just say that I did it because I wanted to hum.

You could try to teach him that he can only hum in his room so he doesn't annoy/disturb others. This is what my mom tried to do but it didn't work until I was older......

Please don't worry about stimming. He may have important reasons for doing it even if he doesn't realize it.

I have been stimming all my life and the biggest problem I have had with it is it was an annoyance to my mother.There seems to be many different reasons why people stim and many different kinds of stims.

To me it is constant and as automatic and natural as breathing and it is always a rhythmic movement of some sort and I am usually unaware of it.

I know that stopping it makes me feel uncomfortable. I become immediately aware of my breathing, my pulse, my heartbeat, and all the surrounding noises in my environment. When I'm standing still or waiting in a line, gently swaying or wiggling my toes, or rocking back and forth helps me keep my balance. rocking gently back and forth when I am talking helps me get my words out. I wake up in the middle of the night and my fingers and toes are wiggling and I know I am not floating around in space. Stimming helps me separate my body, my thoughts, and my self from the rest of the world. It is the glue that holds me together and keeps me from floating away,