Do you say things that you think are fine but NTs diagree?

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I've often heard that Aspies are too blunt, and that they say things which NTs class as inapproriate etc, but not on purpose.

I was wondering if you agree with this and do this yourself?

If you do/have done before, have you done anything to prevent yourself from doing it in the future?

Are there times when you're worse? For example, when I'm really stressed out/annoyed, I don't bother with the filter because it's too much energy trying to work out if what I want to say is okay or not, so I end up upsetting people.

I know that I used to say things which people didn't like a lot, which has got me into a lot of trouble, but I haven't in a while. (Well, no-one has commented on it.) I just have to really think about what I want to say before I say it. This means that I often don't say a lot of things, even though it would've apparently been okay to say. It's frustrating because I just don't trust a lot of my thoughts and I end up missing out on saying good things too.

I think I do that. But I don't know for sure because the only clue to it is that people seem to be put off when I say something. So I must be doing it. I'm extremely careful to be politically correct (about gender, race, sexuality etc) because, as a disliked person, people could easily try to put me in trouble unnecessarily. But I must be saying inappropriate things in other ways. Rather than being offensive, I must be a little off or something. I have given up trying to say most appropriate things because I don't think I have the ability to naturally differentiate what's inappropriate from what's appropriate.

Not as much as I should expect.

I just don't talk much at all; when I do, I often think way too much about it. I'm very particular about my use of language and vocabulary, so I spend a (relatively) long period of time making sure I say exactly what I want to say. It irritates me to no end when I can't express myself as precisely as possible (even if it turns out to be rather long-winded). Someone else using poor grammar or exercising poor word choice bothers me; if I do it, I can't move on until I've corrected myself, even if it means repeating what I've said.

It does get in the way sometimes, but on the other hand, I trained myself early on to use it as a sort of language filter to avoid potentially contentious situations, since I absolutely cannot stand conflict.

I occasionally do this, where I will say something that at the time I don't think is offensive in the least, but in retrospect it kind of is.

I'm very well known to say random, weird, and/or very inappropriate things so I've learned to keep quiet. Sometimes even when I seriously think about an answer for a while, it still comes out wrong. And then sometimes when I stay quiet, that's wrong too. However I feel no remorse for saying the truth when people push me and are offended by it. Serves them right.

I'm even told on WP that I'm too blunt, but what I say always seems like a good idea at the time.

I'm sure I have, but I can't think of any examples at the moment.

What's more problematic for me is what I don't say. I remember one time when my mom introduced me to some family members I hadn't met, and she later told me I was rude because I didn't say anything to them. I wasn't trying to be rude, of course, but I clearly didn't respond appropriately in that situation.

Oh yeah....all the time. Most of the time it has to be explained why and how I offended someone. Then 1/2 the time I still don't get it.

The most recent one I can think of was Thanksgiving. My neice's somewhat overweight son was running around with his shirt off -- Thanksgiving in Texas can be warm sometimes -- and I made the comment to his dad whether a 4-year old should have a spare tire around his waist. Later I was informed by my brother that the nephew-in-law took the boy and my neice and left the festivities early because he was offended by my comment. Turns out he was made fun of for his weight when he was in school.

I'm still at a loss as to why he was offended. Number 1 -- I didn't know he had been teased in school. Number 2 -- you'd think he'd be doing more to make sure that his son won't have the same weight problem as he does. So I don't really see how I'm at fault in this situation.

I also tend to swear in front of people who might be offended by such language. I don't drop f-bombs in front of them, but the occasional mild words will come out from time to time. It's almost like an impulse -- like I'm showing them that their pious, tight-assed attitude isn't going to affect my behavior. Kind of arrogant I know, and totally out of character for me.

Yes all the time I have been told I have the tact of a sledgehammer.

Yes. I've been told I was rude, cold and offensive many times. Mostly because I said or did what I wanted to and not what others expected me to at the time. As a child, I thought it was normal to do or say what you really meant to. Later, I became more aware of social rules, and now I mostly know what people expect me to do, but sometimes I just refuse to act like that because I don't like hypocrisy.

I can come across as rude or offensive by the things I say, by my tone of voice (or lack) and by my facial expression (or lack). I just feel that I do not have the tools to determine with any degree of certainty, just what is or is not safe to say to people. It feels like any particular thing I might say can potentially end up causing a problem. It makes me feel quite powerless and I suppose a little downtrodden since no-one else around me seems to have this problem.

I have said things at work that have been massively misinterpreted (even leading to threats of formal complaints and me, ultimately, feeling I had to leave the team for another position elsewhere within the company) but because the negative interpretation seems so obvious for the others, my claim to honestly have no idea what I have said wrong just gets taken as BS and makes me out to be dishonest as well as offensive.

I even have this problem around my wife who I feel should maybe cut me a little more slack. In these cases is is usually the way I say something rather than what I say but I still am at a loss to ever see the problem. Again, she will have trouble believing me when I explain that I really meant nothing by it.

As I am sure is the case for many of you, I find this crushingly frustrating since I have tried so hard to watch myself and avoid these situations but I just don't seem to have the tools to identify when it will happen and avoid.

Si