Do aspergers often misunderstood as a rude person ?

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Rito
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31 Jan 2013, 1:45 am

Somehow i feel most stranger hate me for some reason maybe because i have no expression in my face and looks intimidating. In some situation people think i am angry but i am not. How about you guys ?



FishStickNick
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31 Jan 2013, 2:26 am

I feel like I must exude a bad vibe or something at times. I too occasionally get asked if I'm feeling OK or if I'm upset. I remember one instance where, while riding the bus, multiple people looked like they were about to sit next to me, then passed me and sat elsewhere--even if it meant having to sit next to someone.

Some other ways I think I come across as unintentionally rude...
My mom once commented that I came across as "rude" because I didn't say anything to a distant relative she introduced to me (I didn't think I did anything wrong). I tend to interrupt people in conversation (my conversational timing is a little off). A co-worker who sometimes gives me a ride home from the office commented once on the fact that I don't thank her like most people would.



minliu
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31 Jan 2013, 3:14 am

I'm often mistaked for being rude whenever I say things in a "normal" tone, probably because i'm a bit monotonous at times but yeah. It's pretty common I think.



Danimal
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31 Jan 2013, 3:25 am

Yep, Happens all the time.



Murderface
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31 Jan 2013, 3:37 am

Rito wrote:
Somehow i feel most stranger hate me for some reason maybe because i have no expression in my face and looks intimidating. In some situation people think i am angry but i am not. How about you guys ?

Yes happens all the time. Earned me a felony defended my brother against 2 attackers, I was incohearent but not intoxicated. That's what the pig said. If you are misunderstood get used to it. Not trying to be an a-hole but that is what it is.


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Heidi80
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31 Jan 2013, 5:31 am

Hell yeah, all the time. I don't mean to be rude, but somehow I just always say/do the wrong things.



Ettina
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31 Jan 2013, 5:37 am

Yes, I've often been mistaken for being rude because I'll say things bluntly instead of turning it into a polite indirect statement (I have no idea how to make such a statement for most of the things I need to say).



Rito
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31 Jan 2013, 5:44 am

I have been depressed for many years for this. I always think why did this happen to me why those people hate me for no reason until recently i suspect my self is an asperger but after hearing that many people also suffer the same fate as me i don't feel sad anymore.
Thanks guys :D



Murderface
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31 Jan 2013, 5:59 am

Rito wrote:
I have been depressed for many years for this. I always think why did this happen to me why those people hate me for no reason until recently i suspect my self is an asperger but after hearing that many people also suffer the same fate as me i don't feel sad anymore.
Thanks guys :D

Good be you and if other people don't like it f**k em oh they don't matter.


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chlov
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31 Jan 2013, 6:25 am

Sometimes.



jk1
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31 Jan 2013, 7:27 am

Yes, happens all the time. I'd been wondering why until recently. Even when I'm trying to polite and nice, I often get a hostile response. That's why I'm an outcast wherever I go.

And yes, I've been really depressed about it.

However, there have been a few people who seem to see my good intentions. They must be good people. Since I found out about AS (not yet diagnosed), I decided the rest (majority) must be evil worthless creatures and I really don't care about what they think. I recently don't even try to be nice because I know it would make no difference.



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31 Jan 2013, 7:53 am

It's funny how there is a divide at the age of 30 or so. Most below that age (say 20-30) treat me like I'm the worst person in the world yet anyone over 30-35 treats me with nothing but the utmost respect. I gave up playing in a recreational league because If I sacrificed my time to help the team I was selfish, if I showed any emotion I was a poor sport, if I went out of my way to be a good sport I was a dirty player and even had a player throw a softball bat at me because I was 'too happy' after a win.

To be honest though given the fact the majority of people will turn on you in a heartbeat if it threatens their social status maybe that's not such a bad thing. I remember someone saying once "the universe doesn't give a snot about you.... and that can be a good thing!" I might not have any friends but much of that has to do with the fact I don't want any two-faced, backstabbing SOBs in my life.



Last edited by GiantHockeyFan on 31 Jan 2013, 9:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

Rito
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31 Jan 2013, 8:07 am

Even my family relatives don't like me and look down on me. Social life is really hard for an asperger.



MaKin
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31 Jan 2013, 12:36 pm

hehehe!.... does this question really need to be asked?!




(no intentional rudeness intended.)



JellyCat
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31 Jan 2013, 1:20 pm

When I'm not forcing an expression onto my face (facial expressions aren't really natural to me), people often look frightened of me :P :L. I think I look both very cold, and miserable, even if I'm happy.



Magnanimous
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31 Jan 2013, 2:06 pm

Heidi80 wrote:
Hell yeah, all the time. I don't mean to be rude, but somehow I just always say/do the wrong things.

It is downright depressing that you see it that way. =(
You aren't "being rude" ... You're just expressing yourself in the way that makes the most sense to you. There is nothing "wrong" in your doing it.
It is their interpretation that is off. It is the mundie tendency to read false positives into every interaction... To infer things never said, then blame their insane troll logic on you. It is the way everything to them comes down to moral or social hierarchy, and they see every interaction as an opportunity to scramble up these imaginary levels at anyone else's expense.

Mundie etiquette is bullshit. Always. And you'd be advised not to ever let their crap get you down. It is their stupid and pointless game, and you don't have to give it the time of day.