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When you want to be alone what is your reason for it?
I need privacy 23%  23%  [ 9 ]
I need to recharge 77%  77%  [ 30 ]
I don't have any need or desire to be alone 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
Total votes : 39

seaturtleisland
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09 Feb 2013, 8:15 pm

I know a lot of people on the Autistic spectrum like to be alone. Why?

The main reason I've heard is to recharge. Social interaction is too tiring. Isolation provides rest.

Another reason I haven't heard as often that I can relate to in a more extreme way is privacy. I don't want to have to explain myself all the time. If I get the urge to do something that is weird I need time to not feel like people are judging me. Being surrounded by watchful eyes puts pressure on me to hide many very significant aspects of myself. I feel like 75% of who I am needs to be hidden so that people don't judge me harshly or give me weird looks.

I need privacy to be my freakish self. I can't relate to the recharge time as much. Socialization takes effort but I feel like I've got a lot of stamina and I don't get tired by it that easily. I just don't want to feel like people are judging me.


So is it recharge time or privacy that makes you want to be alone? For me it's privacy.



girl_anachronism
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09 Feb 2013, 8:34 pm

For me it's both. Socializing drains me and as you said, you need your privacy so you don't feel watched and judged. I don't particularly care all that much anymore what people think of me, however it is beyond annoying to get their unsolicited feedback on how *different* and *weird* I am...don't they have anything interesting to say that I've never heard before? After all, I don't rudely comment on how I perceive THEM (NTs, I am assuming) as boring/draining/stupid...


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09 Feb 2013, 8:34 pm

I consider the time I personally take to be alone recharge time after being a social situaiton, and time alone before I enter a social situation charging time. To me, privacy and charge/recharge time are pretty much synonymous.

Whenever I am at a family gathering or work where I interact with a lot of people all I can think about after a while is being alone in my room to freely stim as much and as intenesivley as I want (I still do it in public but hold back how much or how intensely I do it), study my special interests to calm me down, and just sit and rock back and fourth to music and do anything I want without having to be watched or interrupted. Plus I get so frustrated in social situations, I can never understand facial expressions or gestures and it ticks me off to the point where I'll excuse myself to be alone somewhere and bang my head into a wall.

I also require time to be alone before hand to do my routines and whatnot, because if I don't my day and mood will be much worse.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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09 Feb 2013, 11:57 pm

seaturtleisland wrote:
. . . Another reason I haven't heard as often that I can relate to in a more extreme way is privacy. I don't want to have to explain myself all the time. If I get the urge to do something that is weird I need time to not feel like people are judging me. Being surrounded by watchful eyes puts pressure on me to hide many very significant aspects of myself. I feel like 75% of who I am needs to be hidden so that people don't judge me harshly or give me weird looks.

I need privacy to be my freakish self. . .

I can very much relate to this! :jester:

For example, I like to write at my computer, bounce to the bathroom mirror talking to myself, and bounce back and stim by squeezing and twisting a favorite soft T-shirt. And as I stim, I often visual sports or movies and sometimes make fighting sounds. Yes, I'm aware this comes off as weird! But to me this is a productive and creative session, and even if it's not, it's a lot of fun! Plus, I want to be free to try new stuff without being judged.

(when I was actively taking speech lessons, I would sometimes combine some or all of this with reading my word lists into a tape recorder, and if I had a winning book I was reading through, reading passages of that into the tape recorder. Again, made for a productive session :D)



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10 Feb 2013, 12:00 am

I need them both.



btbnnyr
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10 Feb 2013, 12:15 am

I like being alone, and I don't feel the need to socialize. I don't have the need that most people have to see people or interact with people.



Who_Am_I
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10 Feb 2013, 12:47 am

Both.


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izzeme
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10 Feb 2013, 5:31 am

both indeed.
i often need time to recharge from socialisation, but plenty of times i just dont care and stay by myself, just give me a good book and i'm happy for hours, preferably if i'm not disturbed



whirlingmind
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10 Feb 2013, 8:21 am

I couldn't vote because both options, privacy and to recharge are applicable.


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emimeni
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11 Feb 2013, 3:00 pm

I chose privacy, but I need both.


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Stargazer43
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11 Feb 2013, 3:11 pm

I think you summed it up nicely in your post, when I'm on my own I can just be myself without any worries or cares.



jk1
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11 Feb 2013, 3:35 pm

I need both, but if I am to pick one, then it would be privacy. I get tired from not having privacy. So I guess they are sort of interconnected.



Zodai
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11 Feb 2013, 4:25 pm

I think you forgot the "Both" option.


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Skilpadde
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11 Feb 2013, 4:45 pm

Both for me, but privacy even more than recharge, because recharge can be integrated in that as well as just being myself without interruption.


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11 Feb 2013, 10:37 pm

Both. Recharge more if I have to do something that day. Privacy all the time. Recharge time doesn't replace me time. I spend most of my time away from people.


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