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How do you react to peoples' reactions to your quirks
Very amusing 20%  20%  [ 9 ]
Very embarassing 22%  22%  [ 10 ]
I don't pay attention/don't give a crap 59%  59%  [ 27 ]
Total votes : 46

Rascal77s
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19 Feb 2013, 10:48 am

When you do things that most people consider odd do you find peoples' reactions funny or are you embarrassed/feel bad? I brought up the fact that I use chopsticks instead of a fork in another thread. I carry a set with me when I go out to eat. People in restaurants always stare at me like I'm nuts and I find it hilarious. Do you guys find peoples negative reactions amusing?



MjrMajorMajor
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19 Feb 2013, 11:20 am

I still can get embarrassed occasionally for attracting attention to myself, but I voted don't care/ unaware because that's the majority of the time.



Joe90
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19 Feb 2013, 11:21 am

Other people just get annoyed or just decide to criticise because they're just shallow-minded. My quirks aren't enough to make others embarrassed, but it makes me feel humiliated when people point them out to me. In fact it makes me feel so humiliated that it makes me cry.


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Tyri0n
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19 Feb 2013, 12:05 pm

I couldn't vote in the poll. I don't really have quirks anymore that would identify me as autistic or strange. I'm just shy and uninteresting. I think most people assume I have other friends somewhere even though they, personally, aren't interested in fulfilling this role. Or maybe they are, and I just never end up on their radar either way (probably some of both).



Joe90
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19 Feb 2013, 12:38 pm

Tyri0n wrote:
I couldn't vote in the poll. I don't really have quirks anymore that would identify me as autistic or strange. I'm just shy and uninteresting. I think most people assume I have other friends somewhere even though they, personally, aren't interested in fulfilling this role. Or maybe they are, and I just never end up on their radar either way (probably some of both).


Hmm, I believe I'm like this too. I have some casual quirks (everybody has, nobody's perfect) but I don't have many that identify me as Autistic or strange (like you said). I just come across as an anxious or sometimes a ''stressy'' person (not as in ''bad mood/moaning'' stressy, in mean more as in ''anxious/stress over things'' stressy, if you know what I mean). Well, I'm often in a bad mood or moaning when I'm at home, but I'm talking more about being out with friends or being at work, etc. And yes, I'm also just very shy and quiet, don't say a lot, and I'm not very knowledgeable either so I don't know a lot, like about celebrities or current events or TV shows or even simple things like different makes of cars or different breeds of dogs or what shops do the best bargains, or other things related to casual conversations. (OK, it's quite normal for a woman to know not much about cars but I'm just giving a few random examples). I am good with picking up on social cues and all of that stuff, but the only social cue I do find complicated is knowing about joining in a conversation vs butting in. Often I have been told ''we wasn't talking to you'' or got funny looks that resembled that, even when I was just being friendly and joining in small talk (nothing private). But I see other people jumping into conversations all the time, even if it's a private conversation. So I really am unsure of how to learn what to do there, which is mostly why I just keep quiet when I'm in a group, even though I know not all people are that horrible.


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Tyri0n
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19 Feb 2013, 1:20 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Tyri0n wrote:
I couldn't vote in the poll. I don't really have quirks anymore that would identify me as autistic or strange. I'm just shy and uninteresting. I think most people assume I have other friends somewhere even though they, personally, aren't interested in fulfilling this role. Or maybe they are, and I just never end up on their radar either way (probably some of both).


Hmm, I believe I'm like this too. I have some casual quirks (everybody has, nobody's perfect) but I don't have many that identify me as Autistic or strange (like you said). I just come across as an anxious or sometimes a ''stressy'' person (not as in ''bad mood/moaning'' stressy, in mean more as in ''anxious/stress over things'' stressy, if you know what I mean). Well, I'm often in a bad mood or moaning when I'm at home, but I'm talking more about being out with friends or being at work, etc. And yes, I'm also just very shy and quiet, don't say a lot, and I'm not very knowledgeable either so I don't know a lot, like about celebrities or current events or TV shows or even simple things like different makes of cars or different breeds of dogs or what shops do the best bargains, or other things related to casual conversations. (OK, it's quite normal for a woman to know not much about cars but I'm just giving a few random examples). I am good with picking up on social cues and all of that stuff, but the only social cue I do find complicated is knowing about joining in a conversation vs butting in. Often I have been told ''we wasn't talking to you'' or got funny looks that resembled that, even when I was just being friendly and joining in small talk (nothing private). But I see other people jumping into conversations all the time, even if it's a private conversation. So I really am unsure of how to learn what to do there, which is mostly why I just keep quiet when I'm in a group, even though I know not all people are that horrible.


I have gotten knocked on my voice recently, but not since I developed some prosody. Not really for my behavior for a long time. People don't say everything they think though.

Do you think that your body language may have something to do with your lack of fitting in?



bumble
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19 Feb 2013, 1:44 pm

In general I think they over react by making too much of a big deal over the fact that I might do something differently to them or have habits they consider unusual.

Some find my quirks cute though, which is nice when it happens.

Mostly though they seem to make me unpopular, especially with females. It is usually males who find my oddities sweet or appealing. Hence why I socialise better with males than females. I have not had a female friend in 20 years. All of the friendships I have made in that time have been with men. I seem to have a preference for their company for various reasons although I do not hate the female gender or anything like that.

Case in point: At times when I was bullied for my differences it was by groups of females. Even recently on a forum board I was attacked...again mostly by females (very occasionally males will attack but its rare and is usually incited by the females when they do..ie when the females are not around the males are nice to me).

On the other hand a male neighbour, who is rather sweet, not only gave me two new bookshelves he did not want (I needed somewhere to store my dvd collection and books...my collections are growing rather large over the years) but he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek on the way out.

He knows I am quirky but is not nasty to me about it like many females are.



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19 Feb 2013, 1:49 pm

Could be any of the three at different times, but usually I don't pay much attention to it. Usually I don't care unless their reaction is aggressive or hostile, in which case none of the poll options applies.



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19 Feb 2013, 1:59 pm

When I make squeaks and noises like "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" people burst out laughing...I find it amusing too...


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19 Feb 2013, 6:03 pm

Wait, I'm meant to notice their reactions?


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redrobin62
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19 Feb 2013, 6:05 pm

At work they called me "crazy" so often it was like my second name. "Here comes the crazy guy!"



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20 Feb 2013, 5:14 am

My major concern are the chronic repeated damage I do to my body. I couldn't care less what people think. I have done myself serious muscular/skeletal damage over the years. Fortunately,none of it has been irredeemable and so over a few months I am generally able to shift the stimming to some other less damaging stim. Its hard and unpleasant but the pain of the injury itself is such that if I simply can't continue with the stim and then my body automatically seeks and finds another outlet.

So, where people notice my stims theyare generally more embarrassed than myself and don't raise the matter. If they did raise the matter I am very open about it and my aspie status. This generally makes people uncomfortable and they back off.


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20 Feb 2013, 5:32 am

my friends are just used to anything a bit strange, i went through a derren brown magician phase that lasted for about 6 months, so they were forced to participate in magic tricks and i bought cards to college, now i look back that was a tad embarrasing :oops: but they dont mind, they are used to it.

my parents got fed up of it though, i trid to hypnotise my dad, did not work unfortunatly.



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20 Feb 2013, 5:35 am

bumble wrote:
In general I think they over react by making too much of a big deal over the fact that I might do something differently to them or have habits they consider unusual.

Some find my quirks cute though, which is nice when it happens.

Mostly though they seem to make me unpopular, especially with females. It is usually males who find my oddities sweet or appealing. Hence why I socialise better with males than females. I have not had a female friend in 20 years. All of the friendships I have made in that time have been with men. I seem to have a preference for their company for various reasons although I do not hate the female gender or anything like that.

Case in point: At times when I was bullied for my differences it was by groups of females. Even recently on a forum board I was attacked...again mostly by females (very occasionally males will attack but its rare and is usually incited by the females when they do..ie when the females are not around the males are nice to me).

On the other hand a male neighbour, who is rather sweet, not only gave me two new bookshelves he did not want (I needed somewhere to store my dvd collection and books...my collections are growing rather large over the years) but he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek on the way out.

He knows I am quirky but is not nasty to me about it like many females are.


yeah i can see where you are coming from, females tend to be more gossipy, anything different from the norm and they gossip about it. i dont think thats the case with everyone though, i tend to get on better with people who may be a bit different, find them easier to talk to and be myself with.



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20 Feb 2013, 6:18 am

I'd say when I notice some reaction by others to my quirks, mostly I find it rather offensive than anything else because I sense their narrow-mindedness and negativity.



Joe90
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20 Feb 2013, 6:39 am

Quote:
Do you think that your body language may have something to do with your lack of fitting in?


Well I am shy, and I can't seem to help looking shy either. So when I'm to meet someone for the first time, I do look kind of standoffish because I have social phobia so I clam all up inside and just don't know what to say (other than hello and all of that). Then it doesn't take long for people get used to the fact that I'm shy, and so they just adapt to it without realising, and don't give me a chance to speak up, and before long, I am just known as a quiet person, which I am anyway.

I have been told recently that my posture is a lot better than it used to be, that I am standing and walking up straight and looking more confident. But even then I still somehow look shy, maybe it's in my facial expression more. But knowing that my posture is good does help a lot, and makes me look less Aspie and just passes me off as a normal but shy person. That's not too bad I guess.


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