Ugh

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Any concern over a potential "misdiagnosis" has probably been put to rest today.
I was talking to a friend/coworker about the diagnosis and expressing my concern over its validity, and she mentioned my social awkwardness. I asked her to explain what she meant by that--because I really believe(d) that I have become so much better in acting appropriately--and she reluctantly disclosed to me how I inadvertently managed to simultaneously piss off two of our mutual then-pregnant friends without even realizing it. I had even been clueless as to their distance from me, attributing it to their mommyhood and a variety of other factors.
I guess these 2 former friends tried to clue me in on the fact that I was being insensitive, but I didn't even pick up on that. So, they both gave up on me thinking I'm just an insensitive jerk.
I guess I still have work to do!

Can you explain the misdiagnosis? - Did you go to get tested for AS and they said you don't have it?
I'm curious because I've never been officially tested but people and online tests keep telling me I don't have it, but I'm sure I do.

I've been socially awkward even when I was in school, at a time I never knew I had AS. Unfortunately some people are not understanding and thats their problem.

Since you didn't know you got them mad, try to apologize and if they don't accept it, you'll have to move on.

I got dx'd with AS last week. I went because my two sons are on the spectrum (DS4.5 PDD-NOS and DS1.5 "mild" PDD) and reading up on it brought up some vivid memories as to my struggles as a kid, and wanted to see if there was a potential genetic component. I was questioning whether the diagnosis was accurate or not, given I am an old lady (haha) and don't have a good account of my earliest childhood years, and that I seemingly(!) didn't struggle with it as an adult anymore.

I can relate, but I'm not sure what to do about it. I also hav improved on my acting skills, but not enough to pass in the NT world.

Just one example of something I learned the hard way.......One of my coworkers likes to change her hairstyle about once a week, and since I'm female, I'm supposed to gush and exclaim "oh my gawd!! Your hair looks so good like that!! I love it!! Blah blah blah" the problem is, I'm gawd awful at noticing these kinds of things, so by the time I notice its been several hours or days depending on how subtle the change and how many things I hav on my mind. its a lot of work for me to be hypervigilant regarding her hair, and she now dislikes me because of this. Apparently this sociall error is THAT offensive to NTs. And how dumb is that? My value is determined by my ability to recognize changes in hairstyle. Absolutely ridiculous to the point where I don't bother saying anything even if I do notice.

Whether or not their friendship is worth it is up to you.

It often takes me days to notice that my husband has gotten a haircut, and I'm really surprised with myself (as is he) when I actually notice it on the first day he comes home with the cut.

I love when people notice my haircut, but that's simply because I hardly have ever done anything new or interesting with my hair. I went a little bold on my 40th birthday because I guess it was my form of a mid-life crisis. People loved the new 'do and it was very uplifting to get such nice feedback on it. I would admit being oblivious to most others' physical changes, and I feel terrible about it because often people think I'm selfish and self-absorbed, and I feel like a hypocrite. I do tend to "get lost in my own little world too", and I guess that is the meaning of being self-absorbed, and I guess that's a bad thing to most people.

The other awful thing is when I come home from work I tend to notice the mess in the house before I notice my children. I will go straight to fixing a mess and forget I never even said Hi to my kids. It's terrible, and I wonder how I'm supposed to teach my kids the right ways when I can't even help myself?

Problem is it happened about a year ago, and my friend just told me under the strictest confidence. Her two friends didn't want her to say anything to me, that's how pissed they were. So, I can't broach the topic without letting on that I was told.