Cheating is a trait/symptom of AS?
goldfish21
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This.
Sure, anyone has the capacity to cheat or be sexually impulsive regardless of their neurological makeup being NT or AS or something else - but cheating is not a recognized AS trait.
I don't know for certain as I don't have info & stats to back my statement, but I'd think cheating would be fairly low amongst Aspies due to our general sense of loyalty, following rules & structure, as well as many of us being honest-to-a-fault.
Doesn't mean AS people don't cheat, heck they could cheat more than average for all I know.. BUT of the books I've read, info I've read online, and personal friends/family/myself.. I've never seen cheating as an Aspie trait, especially not as a recognized documented one - which is most important.
Your psychologist should be looking up AS and educating themselves on what traits ARE documented vs. looking at you through their paradigm of AS = cheaters & thus you can't possibly have AS. That's ridiculous.
How can an Aspie persuade 20 people to do anything with them?
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goldfish21
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Do you mean at a time? Then I could see that as a challenge... :p
Or do you just mean in general as a total number of sexual partners? If that, well I suppose I must have already answered that question for myself loooong ago.
Here's how: Two mutually attracted amorous adults consent to sleeping with one another, and then do so. Rinse & repeat 20+ times in your life. It really is that simple.
It doesn't matter if you're AS or NT. We're all capable of cheating because we're all human. It's completely natural to find others attractive even if you're already in a relationship. However, whether or not that attraction is acted on comes down to the individual.
All I know is, I've been one "official" romantic relationship with a NT, and I was the one who got cheated on, and taken advantage of. When my ex informed me that she was unfaithful, I dumped her on the spot and walked away. I just can't deal with that level of dishonesty.
But I'm not going to run around and claim that all NT females cheat, because that's obviously not true.
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mikassyna- I wouldn't say that here unless you want to start another 'which gender has to easier' debate.
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whirlingmind
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Now she wants me to look into AvPD or extreme introversion with a high IQ and see if that fits. (AvPD fits but again I don't get anxious per se and I do feel like an introvert but my online IQ scores are normal at 100-110)
I just don't understand how being able to cheat on your spouse 20 times and not care is an AS trait?
Here is some helpful information about infidelity in marriages with at least one partner with AS:
http://books.google.co.uk/books?id=qBjt ... ty&f=false
If you read from P118 (Inappropriate Relationships and Flirting"). The author Sarah Hendrickx, is the AS expert who did my Asperger's assessment before I got a full clinical assessment and diagnosis. She has Asperger's herself so she knows what she's talking about.
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I just don't understand how being able to cheat on your spouse 20 times and not care is an AS trait?
Hey, if you have issues in relationshits at least you didn't do that
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Someone hits you or something in a social event, you 'take' that offer & use it to "jump up" to other people they know (friends & etc = mutual acquaintance makes things more 'familiar') and so on and so forth. There is also the....social proof of being with one person, so that magnifies the effect.
EDIT: Also your brain might enter 'auto-pilot' subcounciously & you do things without thinking about it. Like using the force xD
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I don't think cheating is a trait of ASD at all, particularly since many people on the spectrum rarely lie if at all. I've never had a relationship but I KNOW if I did have one I would NEVER cheat on them, and would be furious is someone ever cheated on me.
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The therapist has probably read books/articles by Maxine Aston. Aston has created a mini-industry for herself by 'specializing' in relationships where the male person has ASD. Her premise seems to be that basically all relationship problems are due to male ASD. So, I wouldn't take that claim seriously.
Someone hits you or something in a social event, you 'take' that offer & use it to "jump up" to other people they know (friends & etc = mutual acquaintance makes things more 'familiar') and so on and so forth. There is also the....social proof of being with one person, so that magnifies the effect.
EDIT: Also your brain might enter 'auto-pilot' subcounciously & you do things without thinking about it. Like using the force xD
Ah, right. You have to go to social events.
And you have to be able to do social stuff subconsciously.
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Cheating is no more an AS trait than being a psychopath is. Honestly in my experience it's more likely that we value relationships more than others because we (most of us, though I can't speak for everyone) have problems with getting into relationships to begin with, so we tend to work to keep the ones we have.
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Yeah, right, could you imagine having to get to know that many people, let them into your personal life enough to have sex with them? I bet most of us would just burn out and sit in a heap on the floor long before we got to twenty.
Cheating with one person? Okay. I could see that for an Aspie, like for anyone else. But repeatedly? Uh-uh.
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