How to deal with reactions to diagnosis/misconceptions?

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Chazzle
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09 Mar 2013, 9:11 am

I'm just starting to tell people in my family and people I know about my diagnosis of Aspergers/ASD. First and foremost I'm finding I'm getting a lot of 'denial' type reactions even from my own mother to some extent which is like simply because I don't fit the immediate stereotype of autism/aspergers. I'm finding this really hard to deal with and quite confusing as I'm getting a bit of inner turmoil from this. The general stereotype stuff is coming in to play far more than I'd like and I wish people would make sure they are fully educated on the diversity of the spectrum before making judgements and acting almost as if I'm making it up.
So how do you cope with this kind of reaction when newly diagnosed:
Example
"They think I have a form of Autism"
"What? You don't seem like the sort of person to have Autism at all."

^^ :roll:

And the more I read this forum the more even I am realising that every single case is unique.


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M305
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09 Mar 2013, 12:08 pm

I have the same problem I got dx'ed almost two months ago and still haven't told everybody in my family fearing their reactions.

Also public image about autism here is still individuals with severe mental retardation, meaning I have to explain a lot which I cannot do very well. Also there is no general / short explanation of autism making it more difficult.

I'm curious about how others dealt with this.


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Camo
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09 Mar 2013, 1:01 pm

hmmm, I was diagnosed last week, my wife and kids pretty much knew it anyway, but so far I haven't told my family, not sure I will yet. I have told one of my two friends, he isn't bothered and accepts it without question. He does live miles away and we just text or facebook banter though.

I want to tell my parents and siblings just so I can excuse my odd behaviour over the years but am fearful of bad reactions.... mainly from my parents but at 46 why the heck am I bothered ?

Stu


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Panddora
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09 Mar 2013, 1:33 pm

I have recently been diagnosed after realising what the issue was only a couple of months ago. Suddenly so many things in my life came together and it has helped so much to understand why my parents didn't like me and why people called me wierd all my life. When I grew up Asperger's was not recognised. I have worked with people diagnosed with Asperger's and currently work with some people with autism but it was only recently, while researching the topic for work that it dawned on me I was on the spectrum. There is absolutely no way I can tell my husband who just wouldn't understand and happily gets angry when I tell him someone has called me wierd. I cannot tell my children, I just can't! I have no friends so that isn't an issue. Maybe one day I may tell a work person the next time I am called wierd but I am already semi retired so probably won't. However, I have told you now so maybe one day...



Jabberwokky
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10 Mar 2013, 5:43 am

My mother has great difficulty discussing anything that is to do with psychology. She simply closes down the conversation. I have been more fortunate recently that when I divulged that I believe I am aspie to my sister; she was very open about it and told me that she had been diagnosed with ADHD. What a relief. We can now happily compare notes on our respective mental states and have a good laugh at ourselves. Basically, I think we must understand that not everyone will respond as we would like but that over time we will develop a network of people who understand and who we can confide in.


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jk1
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10 Mar 2013, 5:58 am

I haven't reached that stage yet - not yet diagnosed. I got a referral from my GP a few weeks ago and am wondering what to do. I'm planning to eventually tell my parents and siblings. They already know that something's wrong with me. So I don't think they would be surprised about it. I'm more worried about my mother's devastation when I tell her about it.

It's good to read other people's experiences here. I can prepare myself a bit better for possible reactions of people.



rickskyscraper
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10 Mar 2013, 7:26 am

I will find out the extent of my diagnosis, probably including one or more other issues other than ASD on March 13, 2013. I really don't know what they'll say. I have been to a renowned Autism clinic and sent to another psychologist at a well-thought-of School of Medicine. In other words, I will accept their diagnosis. Truthfully, I'm becoming very uncomfortable about the outcome, and how to approach the world with my "problems." My work-life is deeply impacted by whatever condition I carry, whether it is hardwired (ASD) or effects from trauma (PD) does not really matter. I must make changes to survive, but will I be accepted in my present work environment? I could imagine being ostracized for being different; for being wounded or damaged in some way. I am a pastor, who wants to do consultant work for the Church, but will they still want me? I am leaving local congregational work, but really love the Church, and truly enjoy the work of problem-solving and conflict-resolution. I hope the Regional Staff see my potential and trust me with this important work...even with a diagnosis. And yes, I will have to tell them why I'm leaving "parish ministry."

I'd say, tell only those people who need to understand your strengths and weaknesses.

Best of luck to you!

I noticed that Camo was diagnosed in May of this year? That's a profound medical breakthrough.


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whirlingmind
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10 Mar 2013, 7:48 am

Chazzle wrote:
I'm just starting to tell people in my family and people I know about my diagnosis of Aspergers/ASD. First and foremost I'm finding I'm getting a lot of 'denial' type reactions even from my own mother to some extent which is like simply because I don't fit the immediate stereotype of autism/aspergers. I'm finding this really hard to deal with and quite confusing as I'm getting a bit of inner turmoil from this. The general stereotype stuff is coming in to play far more than I'd like and I wish people would make sure they are fully educated on the diversity of the spectrum before making judgements and acting almost as if I'm making it up.
So how do you cope with this kind of reaction when newly diagnosed:
Example
"They think I have a form of Autism"
"What? You don't seem like the sort of person to have Autism at all."

^^ :roll:

And the more I read this forum the more even I am realising that every single case is unique.


What about you announce yourself as "A high-functioning autistic" then they will hear the high-functioning part first and react less incredulously?


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