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StarTrekker
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04 Apr 2013, 12:24 am

How observant of others and the outside world are you? Turns out I'm far more oblivious to the things that go on outside my bubble than I realised: in the past two days alone, my mom made mention of a boyfriend she used to have that I was unaware ever existed, but who my sister remembered perfectly, and my friend described a conversation she had with someone, the two of them talking across me as I apparently didn't even notice the man with whom she was talking kept trying to interact with me. I have no memory of her talking to anyone during the interval she mentioned, and I was apparently just sitting there, not doing anything else. I must have been very far away mentally to manage that, and yet it sounds astounding to me. Anyone else manage to be frequently utterly unaware of your surroundings?


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TheValk
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04 Apr 2013, 1:21 am

The most painful experiences (upon realisation) were understanding somebody was/is in love with me and unconsciously hurting their feelings without knowing it.



goldfish21
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04 Apr 2013, 2:09 am

Yeah, that's happened to me before. I just sort of zone out, or am focused on something else so intensely that I don't hear someone speaking to me, or I'm thinking about something else so intensely that the same thing happens. It could also be a bit of a audio/visual sensory issues, as well as a problem w/ executive brain functions not working at their best - which can result in not noticing things right in front of your eyes, and altered perception of time - which can vary & change.


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Stalk
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04 Apr 2013, 5:10 am

Apparently people were laughing behind my back at school.



eric76
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04 Apr 2013, 5:32 am

I often seem to be about the last to know about local happenings. I am usually surprised when I find out that there is something in the area that is common knowledge that I know about before most everyone else.



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04 Apr 2013, 5:48 am

TheValk wrote:
The most painful experiences (upon realisation) were understanding somebody was/is in love with me and unconsciously hurting their feelings without knowing it.


:( Missed opportunities...



Skilpadde
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04 Apr 2013, 6:31 am

I can be extremely oblivious. I'm often in my own world, and even when I'm not, I'm still fairly oblivious.

I really don’t notice people or how they look. I very seldom see people as exceptionally good or bad looking, and I don’t tend to view them differently when I do. To me looks are just a way to recognise someone IRL. And I’m bad at it.

Examples:
1. I got home at the same time as a woman in our stair well. We exchanged a few words (she’s one of the few nice people who have lived there, so I made an effort, plus I actually had something to say). Then, after some minutes, I noticed that she was rubbing her tummy. I thought it was weird and I chanced to look down at it. Then dumbly exclaimed: “You’re pregnant!”
She just laughed.
When I told my mother she wondered how I could have failed to notice that, as the woman in question was seven months pregnant and allegedly huge even for that, so much that she had thought first that she might be expecting twins. And I didn’t even notice her belly was big at all.

2. There was an ad running on TV, using 3 images of the same guy sitting around the living room. It wasn’t until the second or third time I saw it that I realised it was the same guy.
3. Allegedly my grandmother was really fat. I didn’t see it. When a childhood friend of my mother mentioned it, I had to ask my mother afterwards about it. I was 14 when she died and I didn't notice she was big.
4. My parents keep commenting on people's looks when they watch TV, and they talk about people with long faces, sticky out ears, 'rodent teeth', not fitting their clothes (due to size or color), being fat, being ugly etc, and I don't see it.
5. Allegedly Roy, a boy I liked in elementary school, was ugly. I didn’t see it.
6. I never tend to recognise actors from one movie/series to another, and if I do, it’s usually because of their voice.


I'm usually the last to find out about ... anything really.


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eric76
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04 Apr 2013, 6:38 am

Skilpadde wrote:
Examples:
1. I got home at the same time as a woman in our stair well. We exchanged a few words (she’s one of the few nice people who have lived there, so I made an effort, plus I actually had something to say). Then, after some minutes, I noticed that she was rubbing her tummy. I thought it was weird and I chanced to look down at it. Then dumbly exclaimed: “You’re pregnant!”
She just laughed.
When I told my mother she wondered how I could have failed to notice that, as the woman in question was seven months pregnant and allegedly huge even for that, so much that she had thought first that she might be expecting twins. And I didn’t even notice her belly was big at all.


A couple of years ago, one of my neighbors was pregnant. One day I ran into her in the grocery store and casually asked when she was going to have the baby. It turned out that she had the baby several months before. She's been upset about that ever since.

In about 1960, one of my brothers (10 years older than me) went to Houston to the stock show when he was in high school. While there, he talked to my aunt who lived there at the time. When he got back, my parents asked about her and he told them she seemed to be doing fine.

About a month later, my aunt had a baby. My parents were upset with my brother for not telling them she was pregnant. He never even noticed.

Quote:
6. I never tend to recognise actors from one movie/series to another, and if I do, it’s usually because of their voice.


Same here. That's the prosopagnosia.



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04 Apr 2013, 6:40 am

dad: didn't you know that your grandfather was an alcoholic.
me: I thought that is how grandfathers are
dad: he was practically drunk all day.
me: so that glass next to him everyday was filled up more than once?
dad: *sigh*



Mindsigh
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04 Apr 2013, 8:14 am

I don't notice much that goes on around me. I feel invisible and unnoticed most of the time and was shocked to find out that people gossiped about me. What would they possibly have to say?


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MannyBoo
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04 Apr 2013, 8:25 am

It all depends on whether or not I am focussing on something at a particular moment.
If I am focussing or have my mind on something, it becomes severe tunnel vision.
And I totally lose all track, any feeling or sensation of the passage of time.
In those moments, the external "Real Time" moves much faster than I.
In most situations, I am quite observant of the people around me.
This is because I do find other people fascinating to observe.
I usually observe others closely, but I do not participate.
I am meticulous in my observations of human beings.
I admired "The Watcher" aliens in Marvel Comics.
That is how I used to characterize my identity.



MjrMajorMajor
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04 Apr 2013, 12:08 pm

If I hear someone calling my name, it's probably the third or fourth time they've called it. It seems I can either focus inwardly or outwardly but can't do both simultaneously.
This is a bit out of left field, but I have a weird fear of being witness to an accident/crime where someone would rely on what I had observed. Say it was a traffic accident-- I focus almost completely on the movement of the cars around me, but if one drives right by me I'd be lucky to tell you the color of it vs make/model/license # etc. It's a combination of obliviousness, and just being unable to funnel information through. If someone has gotten a new haircut, or a new outfit I never realize it until maybe an hour after the fact and then I feel rude for not noticing. :?



Chloe33
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04 Apr 2013, 12:12 pm

StarTrekker wrote:
How observant of others and the outside world are you? Turns out I'm far more oblivious to the things that go on outside my bubble than I realised: in the past two days alone, my mom made mention of a boyfriend she used to have that I was unaware ever existed, but who my sister remembered perfectly, and my friend described a conversation she had with someone, the two of them talking across me as I apparently didn't even notice the man with whom she was talking kept trying to interact with me. I have no memory of her talking to anyone during the interval she mentioned, and I was apparently just sitting there, not doing anything else. I must have been very far away mentally to manage that, and yet it sounds astounding to me. Anyone else manage to be frequently utterly unaware of your surroundings?


I'm pretty oblivious myself to where it's been pointed out to me on occasion by family and loved ones.
They never meant harm by pointing it out, however it was a turning point for me, as for some reason i didn't realize i appeared so "out there" and now i do. I accept it.

The most recent time amongst other humans was in the bank at a sit down table with some worker and my gf. The worker was talking about accounts (not sure the details) and i just soared out the window, so usually people end up talking to my gf which is fine. I don't mean to be rude, i can't help it. Sometimes i am just not there.



Joe90
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04 Apr 2013, 2:35 pm

I'm TOO observant. It may mean that I hardly ever miss social cues nor do I miss other helpful things like recognising if somebody likes me etc, but it also means that I can be bitterly jealous of others, and always believing that the grass is always greener on the other side. It also makes me feel paranoid, self-conscious, and nervous, failing to accept myself for who I am because I'm way too busy maintaining the ability to impress other people. If I do manage to lose somebody's respect, (whether it's a stranger or somebody I know), I become hypersensitive to their judgement, and feel I have let myself down, and I always fear social failure.

I'd rather be the opposite. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.


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04 Apr 2013, 3:14 pm

I think in general autistics naturally feel/notice/care too much about their surroundings.

As a result they turn inwards in an attempt to cope better with a world with so many impressions.

The problem is that they end up ignoring too many things, also information that is relevant to them.



Last edited by qawer on 04 Apr 2013, 3:26 pm, edited 3 times in total.

bumble
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04 Apr 2013, 3:14 pm

Oblivious