How do you feel when making eye contact?

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I feel disoriented when making eye contact especially when talking. It's not as hard as listening, but it's still very draining both ways. I have been working on forcing myself to make eye contact. How do you feel when forcing yourself to make eye contact and how long can you keep a streak going?

I don't feel disorientated I feel exposed. I feel like the person I'm making eye contact with can see right through me and know things about me that I would rather keep secret. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul which is why I feel the need to avoid eye contact. I feel like I have more privacy if I don't make eye contact with others.

If someone is talking I can look at them, although probably my gaze is more unflinching than perhaps it ought to be. I'm also not keen on it.

However, if I have to talk I find it extremely difficult. My brain cannot focus when I have to look at someone and I forget what I need to say and my brain is foggy. I cannot handle face-to-face talking well, or even phone conversations.

If I could communicate entirely by the written word (except with my loved ones) I probably would.

I used to be very poor at eye contact. I felt I actually lacked the ability to make eye contact by birth (which is not really fully wrong in a sense).

When I have uncomfortable eye contact, I feel the other person can read my mind, or at least guess how I'm feeling. I think avoiding eye contact is an attempt at not letting the other person read your feelings. Even when you have nothing to hide, that feeling of mind-connection with the other person, caused by eye contact, is unbearably uncomfortable.

Because I have very bad eye sight, I used to take advantage of it and take off my glasses or contact lenses so that I can't really see the other person's eyes well. It helped.

However, I forced myself to learn to make eye contact because I was told that that was really essential in many situations for connecting (not necessarily for making friends etc, but also for gaining trust in business etc) with people. I'm still not good at it, but I can do it with certain kinds of people. I now know one of the important things is not to force yourself to have eye contact and not to think about eye contact. If you think about eye contact, that makes you very self-conscious and awkward, which makes the other person very uncomfortable as well. I realize good eye contact happens rather naturally without being too conscious of it.

I hate it. If you think I'm making eye contact, I'm probably just studying your nose.

It can make my mind go blank while I'm talking and usually makes me feel uncomfortable in general.

My parents and teachers made a big deal of this when I was young. They used to demand I look at them when they were talking, like it was a sign of respect or something. I think they also associated my aversion to eye contact as a self-esteem issue. I was always looking down. Nobody knew what Aspergers was back then.

As an adult I've taught myself to make eye contact when talking to people but it's a very conscious effort. If I do it fast and look away I can usually maintain my train of thought. I've also reverted back to wearing glasses instead of contact lenses. This gives me a little bit of a barrier to hide behind. Somehow eye contact through the lenses isn't as difficult as having "naked" eyes.

Annoyed, why does this person expect me to look them in the eyes when we are talking to prove I am paying attention.

My Aunt asked me to give my 3 year old cousin medicine when I took care of her and really force eye contact on me the moment she asked me to make sure I do it.

I looks past people, or at their mouths. When I do have to look someone in the eye, it's like they're looking through me, like we can both see too much. It's an invasion of privacy.
And I can't focus very well when I do it.

I feel like I'm invading the other person's space. But I do have to be aware of where my eyes focus when I'm talking to someone or else I may inadvertently stare at their crotch.

Eye contact is tricky. It can be overdone too I think. I have a tenancy to look at mouths when people are talking to me. Probably because I'm adding lip reading to trying to decipher what they're saying. Personally, I feel too sucked in by the person who does the intense eye contact thing. It feels like being in a "tractor beam".


I'm trying to get myself to become more fascinated with eyes themselves as objects. What color are they? Are they bloodshot? How big are the pupils? etc. Still working on it. But I've gotten better at eye contact over the years. A lot of this stuff takes lots of time and practice. Salespeople are good to practice it on.

Another thing I started doing a few years ago is, wearing tinted lenses ala Stan Lee. My eyes are photosensitive anyways, and this also gives me a little something to hide behind.

Paralysed

To be quite honest, I do get nervous when I make eye contact sometimes. This is especially true when someone has something serious to say to me.

I'm able to make eye contact with my friends and family or, in general, when I can anticipate it happening. When I accidentally make eye contact with strangers, I feel embarrassed and that I have to look away quickly because I've happened upon something that should remain private.