Are you not aware of the traits you have?

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Simple enough I know I have Asperger's fine and dandy but I'll do something such as be rude or not like small talk and forget that's an "Aspie" trait. I personally feel I make more social errors when sleep deprived my brain is in a fogged confused state. Unless SUPER EXCITED I can't function on less than 8hrs. of sleep. For example I didn't sleep the whole night before our Disney World trip (since my 5yr. old nephew kicked me out of the hotel bed) but was so excited I motivated myself to shop and have fun with the family.

It annoys me because I don't realize I've made a mistake until after I have already made it. Do you have to be aware of your trait issues 24/7 ahead of time? I don't know how one gets a handle on some of these things unless you are consciously aware of your trait issues at all times. But that can be exhausting. Nervous and anxiety over what trait AKA issue will you have today??! !!

I'm not always aware of my traits and, in the past, have had my as* handed to me because of it. I really don't think I'm an as*hole but I guess some people think differently. And they don't buy this "Asperger's" business either because they say I'm using it as an excuse especially since I don't look like Rain Man. In other words, I can't win.

There are times when I forget too, say something that I probably shouldn't have, and then immediately think "oh, s**t." I don't get too many comments--just the occasional odd look (somewhere between "I don't get it" and "uh, okay then"), but I'm still left feeling rather foolish.

I DEFINITELY get more "Aspie" when I'm tired. I've been feeling that way for nearly the last month. Scrambling to get everything graded and keeping up with my Walmart shifts--it may be coming on summer, but I'd like to hibernate for about a month, at least.

However, you can't constantly think about your "traits" all the time. For me, that would be like having to consciously think about breathing--they are just present, and that's it. I guess there needs to be somewhere in the middle, where you know what might be most problematic and just keep those in mind. The rest? I say, let them think me "eccentric."

<--- Eccentric old goat.

I am mostly aware of my traits in retrospect, and "in the moment" I tend not to think about them unless something stands out as identifiable as autistic.

I fail to notice my own traits often becouse acting aspie is natural to me, in a social circle of 3-5 people it can take meny minutes if I realize at all that I am the only one doing something like stimming or the full extent of my social akwardness for example. The minor things that add up to make me obviously different to thoses I don't interact with I usually miss, an example is braceing myself with my arms for pressure, they think I am cold on a worm day or chronicly underdressing myself for the weather, I realise i'm doing this one when i get called out for it.

Up until a couple months ago I hadn't even heard of Asperger's.

So I've never known or recognised that I was different. Sure some people treat me different, but I never read anything into it.

Since my formal diagnosis, I've read everything I could find online, and four books, just trying to understand what Aspergers is and how it affects me. I'm only just starting to get a handle on what it is.

You ask "Do you have to be aware of your trait issues 24/7 ahead of time?"
My answer is "NO". Be yourself, be comfortable being yourself.

A little mantra I made for myself many years ago which has helped me cope with life is: "Their opinon is theirs, my opinon is mine. They are allowed to have their opinion, and I am allowed to have mine. They don't have to be the same."

I realy don't care what others think, I learned that trap when I was young. These days I do my thing, they do their thing. I'm happy, their happy. It all works.

Sometimes I'm aware, but I don't censor my Aspie traits. I've realized that I function a lot better in other respects once I stop over-monitoring my behaviour. I haven't really done this monitoring in years. In fact, I kind of enjoy showing others that I'm autistic sometimes.

I pick one or two of my traits and make a game out of working on them by exploring different ways of behaving and thinking. For example:

1. Wanting to be liked and overcompensating, I was "that guy" that always made eye contact and said hello every time when passing someone in the hallway at work. Every time. A bit overdone. So instead now I keep my gaze slightly downward as though engrossed in thought (which is is quite normal behavior in my workplace) and allow others to speak first. I have been amazed at how much more calm and relaxed I am at work now that I have relieved myself of the pressure to be sociable in that way.

2. Similar to above, when an idea or something became my focus, I would sometimes approach others and launch into a speech about it. Soooo not a popular thing to do. So I now monitor for when I am feeling compelled to do that, and have had great success is thwarting it.

I really can't tell that I'm any different than anyone else until I notice people withdrawing from me (if I notice) or yelling at me. Sometimes I can figure it out in retrospect, sometimes I can't, sometimes they tell me why with colorful words when they're yelling at me.

I was diagnosed and looked up what aspergers was. I read abouttraits but never really noticed some of them I do. Until recently I started going to a therapist to help me get better at social interaction. She pointed out some things I personally did which the Internet could not do for me. Now that I know what I specifically do I notice it in everyday situations. It's actually pretty nice now, when I know what I do wrong I can do better to fix it.