They don't understand my sensitivies/frustrations with sound

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Fluffpuffgerbil
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21 May 2013, 1:28 am

I'm getting more and more irritated with my family lately because they don't seem to acknowledge or care about my sound sensitivities. I definitely have a heightened sense of hearing where certain sound and noises and voices are just too overwhelming and I get really frustrated. Other people eating is a big problem because some people just don't realise that how they're eating is really obnoxious and stuff. I mean, I'm not one to suffer in silence, but I might just start because everytime I mention being bugged by a sound, they seem to get quietly annoyed and just say nothing/act irritated by me.

I was watching a movie "Spirited Away" not twenty minutes ago and I was really bugged by the main actress's voice and how she screams through half the movie and I might have complained about it twice when my sister tells me: Mel, stop complaining, you're just making it unenjoyable.

And I lost it there, put away the laptop, went to my room and computer(Where I am now) and I've just been crying I feel so bad. I feel like no one can relate to/understand what I experience with these sound sensitivities. I only have one friend who seems to understand since she has similar sensitivities and she's awesome and we'll talk out our problems to each other.
But I mean... I don't know. I've always been sensitive to sounds and I've gotten more irritable lately and everyone just seems annoyed with me lately and it's depressing.

I don't know if anyone can relate, but I just want to rant



MjrMajorMajor
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21 May 2013, 1:55 am

It sucks, I know. People just don't get it, which multiplies the negative. <hugs> That was a good movie. :)



girly_aspie
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21 May 2013, 2:00 am

I can definitely relate to what you're saying. I've always been very sensitive to sound to the point where I can hear things that my friends think I'm making up until I show them what was making the noise, then they think I'm from Krypton.

There is a woman at work who is perfectly nice, but her voice is so nasal and so hard to listen to that I literally cannot be around her. I've stopped eating lunch in the lunch room because the sound of people chewing and chatting was going to make me snap at someone out of sheer irritation, not to mention it makes me lose my appetite.

I have roommates who are generally considerate, but one has a voice that sets me off and she doesn't like to get up and walk to where the others are in the house, she just shouts for them. I feel like stuffing a sock in her mouth.

There are lots of white noise generators and nature sound generator websites on the net that have probably prevented me from losing it a few times. I just put on my headphones and it's quite good for giving me some "quiet" time.

My father is an aspie, he has an unusually strong sense of smell, but not sound. He also has NASCAR as a special interest and it's always on the television. The sound of the cars is so bad that I seriously have trouble being in the house at all.


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Fluffpuffgerbil
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21 May 2013, 2:07 am

Man I hear ya about the nasally voice. There are some people at my school-- a few of them pretty nice guys, but when they talk it's like *falls on floor in pain* it's either their attitude when they talk or, yeah, one has a nasally voice, but he also thinks too highly of himself and ugh. Laughing is another thing. Some people have laughs that make me cringe they are so loud and obnoxious and there are some girls who scream when they talk.
I was talking to the school counsellor and my friend about this and they were like: wow you're really open about not liking voices.

I was like: Wait, I'm not supposed to be? O.o

Anyway, yeah. It's crazy how sound sensitive I am and no one really seems to get that. I also focus on videos better if they have subtitles(I've taken to watching my TV shows on netflix with subtitles) and I have a quiz on a World War I video that my teacher couldn't get subtitles for. I'm already bad at history, and worse when it comes to taking notes on videos, especially when people are eating and chatting during them. I guess I'm just real stressed lately, and just small things are breaking me easily.

Using art as an outlet isn't helping either since I just get frustrated with not getting my drawings how I want, so music is my saviour. =')

I just wish people could understand. Like, if I could Volcan Mind-Meld with them so they could understand, I would, but I don't have that talent. =(



girly_aspie
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21 May 2013, 2:12 am

I definitely have periods where when I'm stressed (or say, PMSing) I am very irritable about invasive, unpleasant sounds.

On the flip side, there are lots of sounds that I find really beautiful that no one else seems to appreciate; the way pool balls click together, the sound of skates on freshly cleaned ice, the way every cat I've ever met has a different sounding purr, and I think I have a deeper appreciation for people who have nice voices.


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girly_aspie
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21 May 2013, 2:14 am

Fluffpuffgerbil wrote:
I also focus on videos better if they have subtitles. (


This is totally true for me, too.


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Fluffpuffgerbil
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21 May 2013, 2:17 am

Well, I think PMSing isn't helping my problems anymore at this point.

I do agree with finding certain sounds just so stinking beautiful.

And I am VERY voice orientated, like voices are the first thing I notice about people. And someone who has a voice that just makes me all swoony and melty is Benedict Cumberbatch. He has the most deep, gorgeous, beautiful voice. Like, when I first saw him, I was like: Whoa, he's a unique looking person.
Then he spoke and I swooned. XD Also Jensen Ackles has a very nice voice.

Oh, I would like to add I'm not diagnosed or even sure if I'm autistic or not, I just have a lot in common and feel at home with you guys on this forum. =P I relate to most things said on here, but I'm not self dxing really, or I'm trying not to



sixstring
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21 May 2013, 9:28 am

Yes, it's so incredibly frustrating.

During an exam in highschool for my ethics class, the teacher kept talking to explain certain questions. She kept talking out loud.
I tried to explain I can't think when somebody is talking out loud. I lost my train of though multiple times, but she wouldn't shut up.

Another time there was an analog clock ticking away in an exam room (monotonous repetitive sounds are one of the most irritating types of sound to me), which destroyed my ability to stay focused.
I asked if something could be done about it, "don't be silly, just focus"



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21 May 2013, 9:35 am

People don't care.

That's life.

Learn to deal with it (or wear earplugs).

That's what I had to do. It took a long time, but the end results are worth it.



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21 May 2013, 10:22 am

To put the above post less bluntly... it does seem like the people you live with don't care about your sensory issues, and actually resent having to change the way they eat and other things because of them. It is very unlikely that they will change their behaviour, and if you constantly try to change them it will lead to more conflict and not really solve things. It is possible that from their point of view they believe you're being picky, they really wouldn't understand sensory issues unless they had them.

So sound-muting headphones. It is something under your control, should make things more bearable.


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ianorlin
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21 May 2013, 12:04 pm

I think NTs get lost when people mention sensory issues. My dad has told me to turn up music when if it is any louder it triggers my sensory issues. I notice they are worse when I am tired. They also become worse the longer I am exposed to this sound. I think sensory issues actually made group work harder for me in school because I was not just dealing with the social difficulties but the clamor of the whole rest of the class talking while in groups.



Fluffpuffgerbil
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21 May 2013, 8:48 pm

To Shatbat--- I don't know if they necessarily don't care, but they aren't aware of what they're doing. Several years ago when I mentioned that I didn't like the sound of people gulping, my younger sister purposely came up to me and swallowed loudly. I swung my hand backwards and hit her cup, splashing the water out of the cup and they all got pissed at me.
It's not like they are all inconsiderate rude people, they're all mostly usually nice, they just don't understand and honestly I'm tired of explaining it. I'd feel weird wearing sound-muting head phones.

I don't know, everyone's just slightly irritating to me lately except for my friend >,> Might be just hormones and I'm sure I'll find a way to deal with it--- I usually have. =)

Thanks everyone though for the support/advice/listening.



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22 May 2013, 3:10 am

Trying to get NT's to understand your difficulties, sensory or otherwise, is probably one of the most frustrating things in the world to do, I've found. If ever I bring up some sensory issue that bothers me, my little sister's first response is always "You'll live" and it seriously makes me want to punch her in the face. She said that to me one night several weeks ago when I was bordering on meltdown due to frustration over something that probably seemed mild to her, and I can't remember the last time I wanted to strangle her so badly. Fortunately I just settled for shouting at her instead, and she soon cleared off.


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Shatbat
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22 May 2013, 3:19 am

As family they probably care about you, but if they are not aware about how bad sensory issues can be, then they can not care about them either. Probably they think some sounds "bother" you, instead of being overwhelmingly frustrating, and in the same vein they are also probably bothered by having to change their behaviour because of you, and if it's your bother against theirs, then they'd expect you to bear it in silence and stop bugging them on it. A possible solution is communication; talk with them calmly and openly, telling them it is important, and explain how those sounds really, really, really affect and frustrate you, more than they think, and seek to find solutions. And headphones, they are certainly not an optimal solution, but the optimal one is stopping to feel bothered by sounds, which is much harder. That could be included in the talk as a compromise, they may be allowed to do the sounds that they want but they should say nothing about you wearing headphones.

Now that I think about it thought, when you complained about the voice of the female actor, what did you expect to accomplish?


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22 May 2013, 12:34 pm

Thankfully my mom has my sound sensititves so we have few issues together and generally respect our own sound space, her annoying pop music aside. My dad and step mom like to yell and scream alot at everyone clear across the house and then yell loader at me when I cover my ears to say its not that bad and I need to learn to deal with it. They do things like encourage me to apply for jobs in shops and the like were I know I can't take it as I have tryed before in high school co-ops. The idea that sound can quickly give me a massive headache is a forgian concept to them, although I think some of my meny copeing methods appear to confuse them also leading to the if you can do this why can't you do that type of thinking. The good thing is that I have long hair so I can wear the foam ear plugs without getting noticed.



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22 May 2013, 1:16 pm

yeah im not diagnosed either but i do have the same problem, except it goes both ways, meaning that i cannot stand really loud noise, silence or really little noises, erm but im fine with normal level noise, if that even makes sense.

for example exams area awful because its to quiet but you also have pen scratching chair moving and teachers walking up and down it just makes me want to scream.

clubs or weddings i cant stand because they seem to love music that is stupidly loud, cant be there for more than 5 min without having to leave.

and eating noises, picking nails noises, anything like that also annoyes me a lot, im forever telling my family to stop doing stuff that makes noise, thankfully they are not funny about it.