Is this a matter of confidence?

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I just had a visit to a company. I'm considering applying for a job there.

I noticed how much social skills mean in a job situation. It's of HUGE importance! Your actual skills necessary to do the job are important too, but if you don't have social skills, you won't get very far.

It seems like you as an Aspie can fit in better in the neurotypical environment if you:



(1) Never let anything hurt you

(2) Keep trying, even when you fail

(3) Get back, even when you've had a major setback



It's like an animal that keeps trying, no matter if it loses a leg or someone tries to hurt it. It should just keep trying no matter what.

It's like you should never have a lower bound for when you won't continue anymore. Only death can stop you.

Is confidence related to this thinking style/behaviour?

Last edited by qawer on 28 May 2013, 5:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

confidence either can have a psychotic base or one of repeated successes which build upon success. I lack life success [the latter choice] and i'm not quite crazy enough for the former. it is a hard job for me to have confidence in myself. it takes real work.

Confidence is strongly related to Success previously.
Optimism is strongly related to ignorance.
Anticipation is strongly related to Intelligence.
Motivation is related to confidence and optimism.
Dismay is strongly related to anticipated problems.

So M=Sp+i/D
and D=I

and Sp=I+Luck

or some such thing, I'm not a mathematician...

I have the 1, 2, 3 behaviors and had them since childhood. Only death can stop me. I am also a fairly confident person. Don't know if these are related. I have trouble giving up. The lower bound is verry merry berry low. Few things hurt me, usually not non-physical things, only physical injuries and illnesses.

Surely you must mean psychopathic.

and qawer, that's not confidence. It's tenacity.

or both.

1,2 and 3 are basic 'must do's ' no matter if you are NT or AS or whatever. That's how you're supposed to handle life.

From personal experience I can tell you that the social issues at work are not from confidence (or lack of) but rather our irritating little problem of lacking the desire/want/will to become a part of social networks.

In most jobs, particularly office based ones, this is literally the key to going up the ladder. You can be really good at your job but if you're not networked with the right people you will always be passed up for promotions. Worse even, since you do get a raise every year or so the longer you stay in your position the more you will earn... and when it reaches a level that you are earning noticeably more than other, newer hires you become a liability to the company and will be weeded out to give your position to a less costly new hire.

Force yourself you network even if its poorly done. Just having a weak link plus your good job performance will help you immensely.

I think it's more a matter of determination.

I agree with 2 & 3, but 1 is impossible.


You have an interesting way of expressing yourself. I like it!

I'm not sure if that's universally appreciated.
Dependent on where exactly you work, you're expected to drop a project if things don't work.

No.

Keep trying despite setbacks and such, but as soon as succeeding is no longer worth the effort you've put into it, you should give up. Keep in mind the actual goal of employment - to earn money to support yourself and any family you may have. If you don't have any family, then risking death will never support the goal of employment. If you do have family, risking death only supports the goal of employment if your family will be taken care of as a result of your death.

Keep trying even when fail doesn't mean keep trying same things that fail over and over and over. It means keep thinking of new idears to try to work towards general goal and also shift general goal when need arises.

I agree. It was not meant to be just the career, but about life itself. Never to give up on life unless you die, in which case you have no choice but to "give in".

Exactly. The big picture, i.e. never give up on life itself, but keep trying.